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School Principal Has Crush on My Husband

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Guest blogger Kerri: I'm happy she likes my husband. I just wonder if she likes him a little too much.

woman at desk crushing on a man

My husband volunteers a lot at my kids' school. He leads the music program and is coach of the flag football team. I'm happy he's so involved, and that the new (female) principal has taken a liking to him. I figure it can only help my three sons if they have "friends in high places," even in elementary school.

But lately it seems like the principal likes my husband a little too much. She emails or texts him at least once a day. They go to lunch sometimes. She giggles and laughs at all his jokes. And then she asked if she could meet us for drinks next Saturday. I'm sorry, but I don't want to share a martini with this woman! It's taking everything in my power NOT to scream: "Hands off my man!"

To make matters worse, she's two years younger and 20 lbs lighter than I am. I'm not an insecure person, normally, but this has me worried.

Am I freaking out over nothing, or do I have cause for concern?

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30 comments so far | Post a comment now
CoR October 20, 2008, 2:48 PM

If she wants to go have martinis, do it. It will make any inappropriate advances more awkward for her if you develop some type of closeness with her. Remember keep your friends close and your enemies right up under you.

Liza October 20, 2008, 3:13 PM

Personally, Lunch “Dates” are completely out of the question. There is a distinct line between professional and personal and this has obviously gone beyond personal. This is the principle of your kids school, not your next door neighbor. I would set some boundaries up. I don’t think you’re being jealous, I think your instinct is kicking in. I don’t understand why she needs to communicate with your husband every single day..

Erin October 20, 2008, 4:23 PM

I agree with both Liza and CoR. Go to martinis with her, cause it will make it more awkward for her. But also, express your concerns to your husband. He should be willing to cut back on how often they talk, go out to lunch, etc. Personally I think the lunch thing and texting every day is a litle too much. Maybe next time she texts him he could just not respond. No biggie. Or maybe your husbnd could start suggesting that when he an her go out to lunch someother faculty members could join, so it’s more social and less date like. Good job being aware!!

Jennifer October 20, 2008, 5:09 PM


Go to drinks with her? Are you nuts? Set up boundaries. Once you go to drinks with this women you are only signaling to her that her behavior is okay.

Trust your gut on this. It’s the best guide you have.

Forbes October 21, 2008, 1:15 AM

Going there mean a lot you can be able to check the bounderies of this lady.But control yourself so that you do not end up embarassing yourself.

Andrea October 21, 2008, 3:20 AM

I have a great idea… accept her invitation to go out for drinks. This woman is apparently not married, so bring along a guy friend and set up a blind date. Be affectionate with your husband and make certain you sit closest to him, don’t let her scope out the seating. Wear something that makes you feel good about yourself and make certain the principal and guy friend exchange phone numbers and suggest they on a lunch date. If they don’t make a connection, and she asks you and your husband out for drinks again - invite another guy friend. If she declines a blind date, tell her you feel it’s awkward not having a date for her because you don’t want her to feel like a third wheel. If she doesn’t get the hint, politely decline all future invitations. Whatever happens you need to tell her you feel weird about the daily texting and that you feel your personal boundaries are being crossed. Offer to play matchmaker, give her YOUR phone number and tell her to call YOU since your husband is horrible at setting people up.

Andrea October 21, 2008, 3:34 AM

and yes… I would be a little worried. Either this woman is infatuated with your husband OR he reminds her of her brother or someone she admired. It could also just be she enjoys your husband’s friendly company. While her intentions may be innocent at this point, she may develop a sexual attraction with your husband. If she continues to text, ask your husband to let you respond and say: “Sorry, he’s not available.” Be blunt,, if she can’t read between the lines, she doesn’t need to be a principal.

Whatever the catalyst of her need to socialize with your husband, it cannot be a good thing. I would try my above suggestion first, play matchmaker until she’s blue in the face. Set her up with a cackle of guys, throw in some real losers and maybe she’ll run screaming for the hills and leave you and your husband alone! Good luck:)

Sofastogaine October 21, 2008, 6:14 AM

Ask your husband if he has any feelings of more than friendship, remember it takes two to tango.

Insecureity 1 October 21, 2008, 6:28 AM

You can’t see the forest for the trees. Never once did you mention anything about your husband other than what is in your blog. Have you confronted your hubby and actually talked about this? He may be a willing participant, plus he may want to test the waters of your marriage. Men sometimes want to make their wives jealous just to watch them squirm.

Susie October 25, 2008, 9:53 AM

As an Elementary School Principal, I will tell you that her behavior is inappropriate. She could not have any possible reason to be contacting him everyday, especially more than once. She also should not be having several lunches with him. It is unprofessional and inappropriate. I maintain a good rapport with all parents. However, what she is doing is harmful to you, your children and the school. Even if it is completely innocent, people gossip and she should never be the cause of gossip that would cause harm. My only advice to you would be to attack the situation from the home point. Talk to your husband and make him see the harm it could cause to your children with them being the recipient of gossip from other children. Hopefully, he will see the logic here. I have a feeling the principal won’t and that makes me feel she has shamed other principals. Too bad she can’t be sent an anonymous copy of the postings.

JASS October 26, 2008, 12:27 PM

enthu mairengilum p mole

Kiki October 26, 2008, 9:58 PM

Seriously? You’re honestly asking if this inappropriate? The fact that you have to ask makes me profoundly question your judgement. If you do not talk to your husband about this then don’t be surprised when he comes home one day and tells you he’s leaving you for this woman and then pulls out the tried and true line of many a cheater…”I didn’t mean to honey, it just happened.” Happened my a$$.

Sadd October 26, 2008, 11:23 PM

You’d do well to join

You will learn that the affair scenario has already started - at the very least from the principal’s side.

Her behavior is professionally inappropriate. Principals do not “date” parents — ever.

Get your husband a new phone number and email address - and retain the passwords to his voicemail and email.

Hopefully she will get the message.

I’d also suggest that instead of flag football at school your husband do something from church or community - boy scout leader, youth group leader, soccer coach, etc. Any time he volunteers at school - make it a twosome.

You will wake up if you read Dr. Glass’s “Not Just Friends.”

Good luck.

steph October 27, 2008, 2:19 AM

i am really angry,for you. out of line to be contacting husband as frequently as you described. i would talk to him, and if that doesnt work, i would send text back, saying simply, please stop texting my husband. it seems she could have job repercussions from this. also, going out for drinks? who the hell does she think she is?? im sorry you are having to deal with this. i really am.

Journey October 27, 2008, 2:26 PM

Whoa! I am a former educator, who currently volunteers a lot time at my son’s school. There have been times when I have had to be in contact with the principal on issues that were pressing and required a lot of communication. Sometimes the dialogue was on the phone, othertimes via email or text and still other times required extensive conversations when I was starving or he was starving and we simply walked to the nearby restaurant to grab a bite to eat or to bring it back to his office to continue our discussion. We were both good-looking, middle-aged and single, so there was nothing stopping us. Nothing that is but propriety and our common mission: that of working for the kids and the school’s benefit.

I think you go with an open mind. The fact that she asked you BOTH, shows us that she wants to make sure you are comfortable too. And yes, you should bring a single male friend, but someone who either helps out at the school or is interested in helping at he school.

She may simply want to have friends and allies at the school. Besides, there is nothing inappropriate with 2 colleages having lunch, that is unless the behavior and secrecy deem it so. The fact that your husband openly shared with you about their lunch is a good sign.

I’m sorry Kerri, but you’re coming across like a really insecure woman, which is a big turnoff for anyone.

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Dave November 25, 2008, 3:52 PM

I think this woman is looking for a 3some and is pushing the envelope through the womans husband!!

Anonymous December 5, 2008, 3:35 PM

I think your husband is the luckiest man alive. He should rail that thing out at the school

Obese Chess December 6, 2008, 12:58 AM

If that’s the principal in this picture, that rules.

midnightdesires December 6, 2008, 3:02 AM

you’ll thank me later.

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