Single Moms Ruin Lives

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

filed under: family

The Mediocre Mama: We got married the same year, had our babies within weeks of each other and raised our kids like they were related. So when she sprung it on me that she and Sam were getting a divorce, I thought, "How could you do this to me?"

I know, I know... their divorce isn't about me. But the change in my friend totally affects my life. It seems like just minutes after the split, she became a "single mom" who came with a whole new set of rules, interests and problems.

When we recently had plans for a very much needed night out, I got a call a couple of days before informing me that she had just been invited to an exclusive party up with that guy she's been hoping would call. Would I mind if she skipped out on our plans? (Uh, the answer is yes -- I would mind). Before I could even answer, she said "I knew you'd understand" and had to run and stop her little pumpkin from tackling his baby sister.

I don't mean to be insensitive but this. just. sucks. Am I wrong to want our friendship to stay the way it was? Is it my job to just deal with the new change in her or does she have some responsibility here? Because I feel like just throwing in the friendship towel.

2 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Hey, it’s only natural. You’ve got a busy life and this friend fit into it, so of course, you’d want to keep that good thang going. You’re both gonna have to be more sensitive to the other’s situation, I think. It couldn’t hurt to bring this up lightly…well, maybe it couuld, but you’d feel better instead of snarky. She may be caught up in the thrills of dating anew and not that attentive to your needs as the married friend now, but that’ll change. She’ll appreciate what a good and loyal friend you are…eventually. Meanwhile, you got your own personal ‘Lipstick Jungle’ to tune into…ah single life! Good girlfriends are for keeps!

- Dina

Posted 10/14/08 03:18 PM

A true friend hangs in there. If you can’t handle the changes in her life maybe you are not much of a friend. That said, yes, you both have a responsiblity to your friendship. Let her know that you need to talk to her, that it is important - then tell her how you are feeling. Most likely she has no idea. Communication people! It’s the key to solving most problems! So don’t drop your friend, I mean, there are reasons you two were friends to begin with and those reasons are still there so work on your relationship and good luck!

- Kara

Posted 10/15/08 12:45 AM