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Transgender Kids: Boys Will Be Girls

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If your child longed to be the opposite sex, would you let them "switch teams?"


Congratulations, it's a girl! Well, at least that's what you thought you had. For parents of transgender children, not everything is what it seems. Some children are wracked with what's called a "gender-identity disorder" and are profoundly depressed and can even become suicidal if they are not allowed to express themselves as the opposite sex.

A recent article in the Atlantic Monthly examines the difficult decision of Tina Simms to allow her son Brandon to live his life as girl. After all, Brandon had expressed a desire to be a 'she' instead of a 'he' almost as soon as he could talk.

In typical transgender fashion, when Brandon was a little boy, he rejected all things "male." He only wanted to play with dolls and preferred dressing up in his mom's clothes. Once, holding his penis between his legs and obscuring it from view, he gleefully told his stunned mother, "Look mom, I'm a girl!"

After years of therapy and family counseling Brandon, now eight years old, has made a complete transformation. He is now called Bridget. He only dresses in feminine clothing, has his ears pierced and is by all accounts the happiest he's ever been -- and his parents fully support his decision. Eventually, as he nears puberty, he will begin receiving puberty blocking hormones.

And he might not even have to wait until his teen years to start treatment. Pediatric specialist Dr. Norman Spack opened a clinic last year in Boston for transgender kids as young as seven. Critics argue it is morally wrong to put a child through that process at such an early age.

Professor of Human Development at Cornell University Ritch Savin-Williams disagrees. "The quicker you are able to intervene hormonally," Savin-Williams told momlogic, "The easier transition from a boy to a girl in terms of physical appearance. By not even allowing the masculine effects of puberty to begin you can prevent years of misery for the child."

Only time will tell if Brandon will eventually make the leap to a total sex change surgery -- most American doctors will not perform a sex reassignment until the age of consent, which is 18.

So how can a parent tell if their child might be struggling with gender identity disorder? Just because a boy plays with a doll, does it mean he's transgender?

"This is not just a boy wanting to dress up like a girl for Halloween," cautions Savin-Williams. "It's about persistence. It's when a child is so miserable that the only thing you can to do to lift the child's spirits is to let them become the opposite sex. And it's also a matter of time. If a child is consistently communicating their gender preference, for over a year to family, it might be time to seek counseling."

But again Savin-Williams suggests not putting off facilitating a child's transformation. "It doesn't make mental health sense for a child to be miserable." Savin-Willimas concludes, "and it's not like the problem is going to just go away."

What do you think? Comment in the momlogic community.

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73 comments so far | Post a comment now
Ursula June 11, 2010, 12:07 PM

I know a company where gay/lez people are treated like endangered species. That is, they are given special treatment and are protected. That is not right. I agree that people with “alternative” lifestyles should not be discriminated against. But, to treat them special is not right. And, don’t tell me that this is an attempt to make up or compensate for past treatment. Equality should be equality - that includes equal responsibility for one’s actions.

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Brennan Nicolas January 2, 2011, 7:16 PM

I wish parents were more accepting. When I told my mother that I identify as a male instead of a female, there was a lot of crying on her part. She told me that was too bad, because I was born her little girl and that wasn’t going to change. I told her that I was only her daughter on the outside, and I was doing my best to disguise that.

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Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t think you can measure life in terms of years. I think longevity doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with happiness. I mean happiness comes from facing challenges and going out on a limb and taking risks. If you’re not willing to take a risk for something you really care about, you might as well be dead.

Diane Compo March 14, 2011, 7:54 PM

So let me get this straight. If I had cold God would not want me to take cold medication? People, you are all nuts. If it helps the person or child than do it. The next time you have a heart attack remember you can’t go to the hospital. Why because in your mind if God meant for people to recover from heart attached he would have not make them sick in the first place. You clones need a life.

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