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Watching Porn Isn't Cheating

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When it comes to online porn, what is normal and what crosses the line?

These days, spicing up your sex life is as simple as clicking your computer mouse. But when it comes to online porn, what is normal and what crosses the line?

Here are some interesting facts:

• Every day $89 per second is spent on porn.
• 72% of porn viewers are men.
• 260 new porn sites go online daily.

On today's "Judge Jeanine Pirro," a married couple stands before Jeanine and explores the issue of porn -- is it cheating or just plain normal? One frustrated wife tells Jeanine she hadn't had sex with her husband in a year and a half and suspects he was having an affair. The husband insists he has never cheated, and when asked if he considers visiting porn sites cheating he says, "It's not cheating, its entertainment. Everybody does it."

Does everybody do it?

Tune in to Judge Jeanine Pirro every weekday. Check your local listings.

next: Drug Videos: More Dangerous than Online Predators
14 comments so far | Post a comment now
ann October 7, 2008, 2:25 PM

Porn is cheating. You are cheating in your thoughts. Engaging in porn IS being unfaithful to your spouse. And those thoughts stay in your mind. Its perverse! Its NOT normal and its not harmless. You wonder why the numbers of raping is climbing or infedility or divorce? It starts with a little porn that grows cuz you just cant get enough and then you loose all sense or right and wrong. It drives me crazy how wpople justify things like this. Whats wrong is wrong, and porn is wrong.

Husband #2 October 7, 2008, 2:39 PM

I wonder if Ann reads romance novels or Cosmo or watches television or goes to the movies. Does she get mad at other people and wish them ill will? If anything you do ‘in your thoughts’ is the same as ‘doing it’ then how paralyzed would you be? While The Christ used this as a parable, it is not a practical approach to living life. If my imagination help me work on something that could be harmful in life, then thank god for it.

Renee October 7, 2008, 6:49 PM

This man has substituted porn for an intimate relationship with his wife. Good Lord, they haven’t had sex for 1 1/2 years! Da doh, what about him “entertaining” his wife?! You can get some new ideas for lovemaking from porn, but if you keep them to yourself, is that the reverse of cheating? Yep, porn does seem to be addictive. Know too many couples where it killed their relationship.

Anna November 2, 2008, 11:42 PM

I totally agree with Renee when it becomes a hinderence to the sex in marriage instead of help it is cheating. There is nothing wrong with watching porn as research for ways to make sex interesting but when it is watched purely for your own mastabatory purposes it is cheating.

q November 21, 2008, 7:58 AM

all these responses are terrible, except the one from Husband#2.

as a married man with 4 kids, I must say that watching pornography is an enjoyable experience that I in no way connect to my wife. I watched porn before I met her, and then we watched it together for a while, until she no longer wanted to. So, now I watch it alone, and only for the pure masturbatory content, only for self pleasure. My sex life with my wife is just as good as it has always been, and I never once have thought about any of the women in porn - it simply is not connected to my relationship with my wife.

those of you that have a problem with it also are probably extremely jealous types with issues.

I can imagine the woman who hasn’t had sex in a year and a half also writes blog posts about 10 excuses to use to get out of sex with your husband. it’s your relationship that is crap, not the fact that your husband watched porn.

Erin November 27, 2008, 11:23 AM

Yeah, I think it’s cheating in a way. Not in the standard way of physically sleeping with someone but everytime a man views a porno, he is disrespecting his partner. There is so much internet porn avalible today, and so much of it is much more hardcore then ever before; as a woman I find it scary and intimidating. As a woman, I don’t know how men think or what they think about all the time. But when I see men of all ages, fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands veiwing porn that is pretty debasing of women, you got to wonder what men really think about women and how replacable they consider us. You don’t think porn effects you? I think you wouldn’t be logically looking at the situation. Porn is so popular because it does effect you and men are more pray to it. They don’t make men like my grandfather anymore. Men seem more engaged with their porn, more loyal to it, they then see of real women. And if you don’t see the logic in a woman being itimidated and frustrated and insecure about a porn world made up of over idealized fantasies that pretty much reminds us we just aren’t good enough, you really aren’t thinking about women at all. Or how women can be effected differently by things or how a woman’s partner looking at 18 year olds doing all kinds of nasty wild things can be scarey. It would be nice if men had a little more sensitivity and concern for their own parnters over their porn. But too often, men seem to defer to defending the porn. That right here tells us women how important it is to men. Much more so then we are.

Patricia December 13, 2008, 10:28 PM

My ex-husband should have told me that he was going to stay home and have self-sex with XXX movies, magazines, internet all time. I would NEVER have married him. After I found the cabinet of XXX movies and magazines, he got worse. Then the internet came out and he would stay home by himself. I had to go places with three children while he printed pictures of pornographic women from the internet. When I wanted a divorce, because we only had sex once a year, he was angry. When I told him that I wanted to watch XXX movies and print pictures of men off the internet, instead of going to his relatives, he was angry. Why could he be addicked to porn and I had to be Mother Teresa? There is a double standard about porn. I finally had to get a divorce and find a man that liked sex with a real woman (me) to get sexual satisfaction.

susu January 15, 2009, 3:00 PM

God’s word says that it is.

martin January 21, 2009, 5:35 PM

OmCPEB hi! its a nice site!

Anonymous January 22, 2009, 10:01 PM

I just found out my husband watches porn and the thing that hurt me the most was we dated for a year and then got married and we have been married for six months and i am just now finding out that he watches porn. He lead me to believe he didnt watch stuff like that and he does. I felt betrayed and hurt so i wonder if that is how you feel when your man really cheats on you with a real women,If so then porn is cheating

wedge56 January 29, 2009, 11:27 PM

Masturbating to porn is cheating? What planet are you people from? So most women that masturbate are only thinking of their husbands when they do it, eh? C’mon…get real.

CS March 12, 2009, 1:39 PM

Ok my thing, I like porn n i’m a woman, but I like to watch it with my fiance, the thing is he won’t watch it with me. He goes on his phone n uses the internet to look at it everyday pretty much. We moved in together bout 6 months ago nd I have 2 kids he’s never been with someone who has kids so he says he’s not comfortable yet having sex with the kids around which I get, but it has been affecting our sex lives. He came home from work the other morning kids were off at school and we had sex, but I come home from work to find out he bought porn on tv. So if its just the kids why then does he feel after we have sex he needs to look at more?? I’m not aloud to go in his phone he tries and makes sure to delete his history on it if by chance im going to have access to it. I never thought of porn as cheating, but now i’m begining to wonder. I have a very high sex drive I would be happy staying n bed all day (or wherever) with him. I also will try anything and do anything with him so I can’t blame myself. He tells me he doesn’t love me anyless and there’s nothing wrong with me and he shows that in everyother aspect of our lives he’s great in everyother way.

MS April 11, 2009, 7:56 AM

I’d like to hear male and female perceptive about web cam porn - where a man pays for a women to do his bidding while she can see him in real time pleasing himself.

This is my story - I have been with my partner for over six years. We have a little boy and I have done everything for my husband and my boy. In fact I’ve worked really hard at it! I’ve known for years that my husband has looked at still porn pictures and found it hard to take; not the pictures, but the fact that they come before me and my needs. I’m no prude and would have enjoyed it myself if he’d included me. For the record, I’m a attractive, fit, size 8, educated and the main bread winner. I do really make an effort to look good for my husband, however, my husband looks through me . It’s frustrated me and I’ve spoken to him about it without luck but I loved him so much (more than sex!) so I have stayed. I now find that for a long period of time, he’s been using web cam porn. Call it a “relationship” or “affair”; whatever you call it, he has been physically and mentally absent because he’s been getting all he wants from costly interactive web cam. I think back so so many things like all the times he’s had the day off but I’ve found he’s put our son in childcare…I have come back home from work to find he’s not lifted a finger all day (which I now know it’s because he’s so tired from having with interactive web cam porn!!). Another eg - when I was going nuts being a working mum, I discussed getting a cleaner but he said no because of the cost – what about the cost of porn! To think how many dirty weekends in top hotels we could have had with the money! I could go on and on but just one more thing – he’d didn’t just come clean and tell me the lost I had to drag out the collateral activity. He tried to cover up linked accounts and email addresses etc. If it’s just entertainment, why cover it up? When finally he said there was no more, he later confessed to peep shows where you sit in a cubical and wank over naked women. When I started sobbing, he defended it by saying most of the guys in those places are married and that he didn’t tell me because he thought at putting four two dollar coins into a coin slot to look at naked women through a windo wasn’t of any significance compared to the cost of the web cam . So there you go, he’d rather pay eight dollars to see a women naked than see me. I know he hasn’t had an affair but I feel every bit like he has. He’d say often that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him, that he’s the luckiest guy alive and I’ll tell you what, felt like the luckiest women alive. Not now that’s for sure!

So, I’m looking for feedback on what people think about three things, particularly from men who would look at this situation differently. 1 web cam porn – does it constitute infidelity or in other words do you feel engaged with the person, and is it common ? 2. Are peep shows really the normal behavior of married men? 3. I think this question is really what I want to know. Do I now strike off everything he’s said to me about being the best thing and loving me so much. How much can a believe about that?

Nicole Brown May 10, 2010, 2:39 PM

Regardless of what all those men out there say, looking at porn IS CHEATING!!! If you in any way lust after another woman other then your wife, it is cheating. It might not be physically cheating, but it is mentally cheating. These two are one in the same. If you in your head lust after someone else who is not your spouse, you are taking something that is meant for your spouse and putting it into a woman who is not made to share that special intimacy. Checking out other woman and “undressing” them in your head, is cheating as well. All of this destroys marriages, destroys a womans self worth, and destroys families. Men, you need to man up and desire the woman you vowed to be faithful with the rest of your life. And ladies, stop watching porn with them, this doesnt help any. Do you really like feeling like your some object, and not a beautiful woman who your husband adores and respects??? If not, stop encouraging or putting up with them lusting after any woman. I dont care men, if you just do it to masturbate…hold out till your wife is home.

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