Momlogic's Julie: When I heard the news of Jennifer Hudson's mom's death today, I felt sick to my stomach ... because I know exactly how it feels to not have a mom.
Jennifer Hudson's mom died today, and I'm sure it is the worst day of Jennifer's life. Jennifer is 27, the exact same age I was when my mom died. My life has never been the same.
Jennifer Hudson's mom will never see Jennifer walk down the aisle. That is a dream that every mother has for their daughter. It is heart-wrenching to think about how close her mother was to actually having that dream come true, since Jennifer just got engaged.
Jennifer Hudson's mom will never see Jennifer's kids. My mom never saw mine either. It's hard not to feel cheated when I hear my friends talk about how much their own moms love and dote on their babies. It kills me on the inside to know that my mom will never be able to kiss or hug my two beautiful children, because I can only imagine how much she would have loved them.
Jennifer Hudson's kids will never know their grandmother. I tell my kids about Grandma Freda but it's hard for them to really know how wonderful she was because they will never meet her. Pictures and stories can only convey so much, but they're all we've got.
Jennifer Hudson's mom will never see Jennifer as a mother. It saddens me so deeply to know that my mother never got to see me as a mother. She never got to see the woman that I grew up to be ... the person that she shaped and molded for 27 years.
Jennifer Hudson will never be able to call her mom again. That's what I miss most ... being able to pick up the phone and hear her voice. I never got to call her when my kids had a midnight fever to ask her advice. I never got to call her to share a funny story about preschool or kindergarten. I never got to call her to ask what I was like at three, at five, at seven.
Jennifer Hudson will never have a mother again. And no one will ever love you as deeply or be as proud of you as your mother is. I have an awesome husband, a great dad, a wonderful brother and two amazing kids, but tears are streaming down my cheeks right now as I write this ... nearly 10 years after her death ... because no one can ever replace your mother.
And that's an ache that never goes away.