Work at Home Mom Jumps Out Window

Work at Home Mom Jumps Out Window

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Momlogic's Jackie: OK, so I haven't jumped but I consider it sometimes. For some reason, other people think my gig of working from home is the perfect scenario. Judge for yourself.

6 a.m. Alarm goes off. I jump out of bed hoping to at least shower before I hear the first tiny foot steps.

6:10 a.m. I'm just about to step my big toe into the big glass box when...

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

OK, I'll just grab her and let her play with the toys where I can see her while I shower. I run into the bedroom... oh my gosh, her crib is totally soaked.

6:15 - 6:45 a.m. I change clothes and sheets while conforting a girl who's not happy to have woken up wet and cold. OK, maybe I can return emails and suck down a cup of coffee before the boys wake up.

6:46 a.m. The boys wake up.

6:50 - 8:00 a.m. I try to return emails with one hand while feeding oatmeal into a hungry girl and convincing a three-year-old that, while he wants to wear his monkey shirt every day, the monkey gets tired and needs a day off.

A sippy cup whizzes past my head and hits my computer, square on the keyboard -- removing it's ability to type the letter X. (phew... a letter I rarely use) I get the boys dressed, finish making lunches and filling snack bags -- man, why didn't I do this last night? Faces are wiped, hair is combed (although strangely doesn't look like it) and they're out the door with Daddy for a fun morning at preschool.

8:15 - 8:30 a.m. Get a little work done while holding a squirming girl. I don't understand why she doesn't love television like every other kid. Hey look, it's Barney! "WAAAAAAAAH!" Yeah, can't really blame her there.

8:32 a.m. Phone rings. Hi Honey... what? A line at the preschool? Lots of women? OH. MY. GOD. It's the meeting for Parent Volunteer Club! I'm supposed to bring the muffins! It starts at 8:45. I can do this ...

8:55 a.m. I pull into the school parking lot with grocery store muffins and a baseball hat covering my still-dirty hair. The meeting is in full swing. Maybe they won't notice ...

"HEY JACKIE!"

Ugh, they noticed.

11:10 a.m. I pull back out of the school parking lot and head for home.

11:15 a.m. I get gas.

11:35 a.m. I pick up the dry cleaning. (I'm out already -- when else would I get to it?)

11:50 a.m. I grab milk -- whole for the little one, non-fat for the boys and me, and 1% for the hubby. Do I need help out? Nah, I got it.

11:55 a.m. Bag rips. Milk lands on pavement ... my car ... and us. Yeah, maybe I could've used a little help out.

12:15 p.m. We're home and changed (still not showered but some things just aren't going to happen today). I give Lucy some lunch and clean her up.

1:10 p.m. Lucy goes down for a nap. Perfect! Now I have exactly 90 minutes to finish a project, prepare for a 2 p.m. conference call, and take the call before she wakes up.

1:30 Oh no ... She's crying! My conference call is in 30 minutes -- I am totally unprepared. The dogs are barking at construction guys next door and the phone is ringing. (is it work? is the meeting early? did I miss yet another mom-duty at school?)

1:40 p.m. I grab Lucy, run outside to bring the dogs in, press play on the machine -- phew, doctor's office confirming an appointment -- put her down to play ... WHOOPS! Someone is adamant her feet don't hit the floor or butt hit the couch ... OK, OK, I'll hold you. I scamper into my home office with Lucy in my arms, use one hand to do a little research so I don't look like a complete idiot and collect a few points to add to the work conversation.

1:55 p.m. I attempt to put Lucy in front of Baby Einstein. If it works, I am free to work for 30 minutes. I. slowly. put. her. down. (silence) YES! She's going for it! I look at the clock... two minutes -- yikes!

1:58 p.m. I grab my laptop and find a spot in the house where I can see Lucy but those on the call can't hear the classical music or singing girl. I'm good to go... My computer dings...hmm, a new email... "hi jackie, the video conference call is on-time for 2 p.m."

VIDEO conference?????

NOTE: This post was written with a 20-month-old climber stepping all over me.

Click to see "9 Reasons Being a WAHM Is Impossible" gallery!

39 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Dang, Jackie! How is it that you’re still employed even though you admittedly get no work done during the day? Sounds like a good gig. Sign me up!

- Kate

Posted 10/28/08 09:30 AM

Ok, I laughed and laughed! I have totally had days like this. I ended up doing a crazy combo of nanny, preschool, etc. The amazing thing is when you do get a 3 hour block you are AMAZED at what you can accomplish. People who have 8 hour days have nothing to compare with those of us who can literally stuff an entire 8 hour day into 3 hours.

- Mary-Frances Main

Posted 10/28/08 10:41 AM

Where working moms have nights and weekends with their families, work at home moms still have work to do.

- Anonymous

Posted 10/28/08 10:49 AM

THANK YOU…. this is so true. I write as I think about how to wear the little one out so she takes a long nap.

- Carrie

Posted 10/28/08 10:50 AM

Being a work at home mom is not so bad. Just have lots of s*ex during the day and m*asturbate often to relieve stress. The more o*rgasms I have, the better I feel. Put a tiny, strap on, vibrating egg on, in the beginning of your day and you will have several o*rgasms during the day. Go for the BIG O !!!

- Cheryl

Posted 10/28/08 11:33 AM

yeah, ok cheryl. and let us know when you’re done with the drugs.

- Anonymous

Posted 10/28/08 11:40 AM

Where is your husband in the morning? He could watch the kids while you are in the shower.

- geen

Posted 10/28/08 12:11 PM

I don’t work, and my days as a mom of 2 still in diapers look just like this!

- Anonymous

Posted 10/28/08 01:37 PM

Anonymous, I do not do drugs at all. Lots of s*ex and o*rgasms is what gets me through my day. I put on this device in the morning and I can switch it on and off during the day. It causes me to c*um which relaxes me. The more s*ex and o*rgasms, the better I feel and the more relaxed I am. Try it, you’ll like it.

- Cheryl

Posted 10/28/08 02:07 PM

Your hubby needs to help you out more in the mornings. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you should do everything by yourself. You need time to get ready just like he does. When you put your child down for a nap, sometimes you just gotta to let them cry to sleep. Kids need to learn that they can’t always get their way. And Cheryl, Jackie doesn’t even have time to take a shower. What makes you think she has time to do the things you mentioned.

- I would have one leg out the window.

Posted 10/28/08 02:22 PM

Just to address a couple of things… my husband works insane hours, so I can work from home and not leave my daughter every day. While I would love to have him help more at home, he’s barely getting 5 hours of sleep himself and he’s there in the am helping… just not every single morning. And my daughter is 20-mos, adopted and home six weeks, letting her cry it out is not an option. And Cheryl is obviously not a mom or she’d spend more time with her kids and less writing about pocket rockets.

- Jackie

Posted 10/28/08 04:41 PM

To, I would have one leg out the window: What time do you need to just flip the switch to turn on the pocket rocket? It takes literally one second and maybe just a few minutes to have the o*rgasm. To Jackie: I am a mom and do spend time with the kids but I am a work at home mom, who can also be on the computer once every few hours. That, my pocket rocket, great s*ex and o*rgasms is what keeps me happy, relaxed and sane.

- Cheryl

Posted 10/28/08 04:53 PM

I must say that I know Jackie personally very well. First, I want to say that when it comes to husbands, Jackie hit the jackpot! Besides, working a full time job…plus overtime…when he comes home from work, he is super dad and super husband! He makes every effort to make Jackie’s life as easy as possible…irregardless how tired and spent he is from his own work day! Secondly, when it comes to mothers, you will never find a more devoted mother than Jackie!!! So, to the women out there that remark on where is Jackie’s husband…he is there probably more than a typical father would be…plus, 1000% more!!! Oh yeah…one more thing…Jackie’s husband worked nights for a long long time just so he could be home with the kids during the day….you tell me…how many husbands and fathers would take only the amount of hours one hand has of fingers of sleep a day to be home with his kids as much as he has and is!!!

- Michelle

Posted 10/29/08 12:43 AM

hey, we all know that feeling - whether we are SAHM/WAHM or working out of the house moms… Being a mother means being SUPERWOMAN so I feel your pain Jackie. as they get older it will get easier!

- Angie

Posted 10/29/08 07:10 AM

I can relate Jackie, I work from home and while my kids are off to school everyday, the routine is the same as yours. I get no help in the am, no time to shower and somehow, because I am at home am still expected to get laundry, errands, vol at kids school, have dinner ready and anything and everythign else. All this while working a supposeded 40 hour week. Work at home is not all that it is cracked up to be

- Jennifer

Posted 10/29/08 07:49 AM

heehee. brings back memories. now my kids are all in school and after I get them out the door for the day I sigh and either get errands done outside the house(get them done early before the daily rush) and/or doing things to save money like hanging laundry along with cleaning the house. I have 5 hours a day to shop and clean plus check out online stuff. Then it’s homework (ick) and supper and cleaning up and getting them to bed. Still, with them in school there is still not enough time in a day. And they are always coming home sick or someone has a doctor appointment. I’ve thought about going back to work (outside the home) and then I look at everything that needs doing around here and just don’t know how it would work.

- momoffour

Posted 10/29/08 08:15 AM

I concur with you all. I have a 7, 5, &4 year olds. I am SAHM and in grad school. When I think about going back to work I don’t see how in the world it can be done. There barely is enough time in the day to cook, clean, run errands, volunteer in 3 classrooms and help kids with their homework. We all have to sacrifice something. For those that work outside the house they have to evaluate what is important to spend thier time on when they get home. Many times, their errands or housecleaning slip. Those of us who are SAHM or WAHM me sacrifice sleep and finances. We all have to remember that when we are raising our children the time is short and it is the most rewarding and important job we will ever have - being a mom (even if no one else can see it). Kudos to all you moms!

- monique

Posted 10/29/08 08:51 AM

I can relate to Jackie. I have a Daycare in my home. My day starts at 5:45 with the first kid and ends at 5 o’clock when the last one leaves. Meanwhile, my husband works second shift, so I try my best to entertain the kids quietly until he is up and ready. About the time the Daycare shift ends my daughter gets home from school. Then there is homework, errands to run, lessons and her dinner to fix. By the time I finish that, its time to start my husbands dinner. He arrives home about 9:30. We discuss our day watch a little TV and I’m off to bed by 11pm to start my day all over again.

- Kelli

Posted 10/29/08 09:26 AM

OMG! I can totally relate to this..I thought I was the only one..! LOL thanks for sharing and making me laugh this morning..

- LISA

Posted 10/29/08 10:03 AM

Jackie, I know exactly how you feel, except add in checking homework and after-school activities. I have a 13 month old and a 10 year old, so I’m running around non-stop. My husband does help out but somedays I feel like he makes a bigger mess than the kids. I had to laugh at the vibrator comments from some of the ladies. Who has time to do that during the day?!?! When I get a minute, I’m not strapping the vibrator on, I’m running to the bathroom or checking my work voicemail and returning calls. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone.

- Janine

Posted 10/29/08 10:56 AM