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Work at Home Mom Jumps Out Window

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Jackie: OK, so I haven't jumped but I consider it sometimes. For some reason, other people think my gig of working from home is the perfect scenario. Judge for yourself.

child playing


6 a.m. Alarm goes off. I jump out of bed hoping to at least shower before I hear the first tiny foot steps.

6:10 a.m. I'm just about to step my big toe into the big glass box when...

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

OK, I'll just grab her and let her play with the toys where I can see her while I shower. I run into the bedroom... oh my gosh, her crib is totally soaked.

6:15 - 6:45 a.m. I change clothes and sheets while conforting a girl who's not happy to have woken up wet and cold. OK, maybe I can return emails and suck down a cup of coffee before the boys wake up.

6:46 a.m. The boys wake up.

6:50 - 8:00 a.m. I try to return emails with one hand while feeding oatmeal into a hungry girl and convincing a three-year-old that, while he wants to wear his monkey shirt every day, the monkey gets tired and needs a day off.

A sippy cup whizzes past my head and hits my computer, square on the keyboard -- removing it's ability to type the letter X. (phew... a letter I rarely use) I get the boys dressed, finish making lunches and filling snack bags -- man, why didn't I do this last night? Faces are wiped, hair is combed (although strangely doesn't look like it) and they're out the door with Daddy for a fun morning at preschool.

8:15 - 8:30 a.m. Get a little work done while holding a squirming girl. I don't understand why she doesn't love television like every other kid. Hey look, it's Barney! "WAAAAAAAAH!" Yeah, can't really blame her there.

8:32 a.m. Phone rings. Hi Honey... what? A line at the preschool? Lots of women? OH. MY. GOD. It's the meeting for Parent Volunteer Club! I'm supposed to bring the muffins! It starts at 8:45. I can do this ...

8:55 a.m. I pull into the school parking lot with grocery store muffins and a baseball hat covering my still-dirty hair. The meeting is in full swing. Maybe they won't notice ...

"HEY JACKIE!"

Ugh, they noticed.

11:10 a.m. I pull back out of the school parking lot and head for home.

11:15 a.m. I get gas.

11:35 a.m. I pick up the dry cleaning. (I'm out already -- when else would I get to it?)

11:50 a.m. I grab milk -- whole for the little one, non-fat for the boys and me, and 1% for the hubby. Do I need help out? Nah, I got it.

11:55 a.m. Bag rips. Milk lands on pavement ... my car ... and us. Yeah, maybe I could've used a little help out.

12:15 p.m. We're home and changed (still not showered but some things just aren't going to happen today). I give Lucy some lunch and clean her up.

1:10 p.m. Lucy goes down for a nap. Perfect! Now I have exactly 90 minutes to finish a project, prepare for a 2 p.m. conference call, and take the call before she wakes up.

1:30 Oh no ... She's crying! My conference call is in 30 minutes -- I am totally unprepared. The dogs are barking at construction guys next door and the phone is ringing. (is it work? is the meeting early? did I miss yet another mom-duty at school?)

1:40 p.m. I grab Lucy, run outside to bring the dogs in, press play on the machine -- phew, doctor's office confirming an appointment -- put her down to play ... WHOOPS! Someone is adamant her feet don't hit the floor or butt hit the couch ... OK, OK, I'll hold you. I scamper into my home office with Lucy in my arms, use one hand to do a little research so I don't look like a complete idiot and collect a few points to add to the work conversation.

1:55 p.m. I attempt to put Lucy in front of Baby Einstein. If it works, I am free to work for 30 minutes. I. slowly. put. her. down. (silence) YES! She's going for it! I look at the clock... two minutes -- yikes!

1:58 p.m. I grab my laptop and find a spot in the house where I can see Lucy but those on the call can't hear the classical music or singing girl. I'm good to go... My computer dings...hmm, a new email... "hi jackie, the video conference call is on-time for 2 p.m."

VIDEO conference?????

NOTE: This post was written with a 20-month-old climber stepping all over me.

girl playing

Click to see "9 Reasons Being a WAHM Is Impossible" gallery!


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40 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mother of two and loving it. October 29, 2008, 11:58 AM

Jackie you sound like you have your hands full. I am also a stay at home mom. I work about 10 hours a week. I tried to go back to work but my daughter was 4 months and came home with the a big bruse on her face and I threw in the towel. I just found a great company to work for that allows me to play all day with my kids. Please check out my site it has helped my family energy levels and also our income. www.mymonavie.com/mauldin

Proud Blue star Momx2 October 29, 2008, 12:00 PM

Jackie,Thank you so very much for such a wonderful story! It brought back so many memories for me! I am glad you wrote this story it made me laugh and I now have a smile on my face! Which is hard since my 2 older boys are in Iraq,and the middles one had to celebrate his birthday over there yesterday! You enjoy all of those hectic moments and hold your daughter as much as possible! Before you know it they are grown and out on their own!Good-luck and you go Girl!!!!

Cheryl October 29, 2008, 3:27 PM

To Janine, you can have time for a few o*rgasms during the day if you strap on the pocket rocket first thing in the morning. Then all you need to do is flick the switch on anytime during the day and a few minutes later, you are climaxing. It will relax you and make you feel oh so good.

Maureen October 29, 2008, 3:47 PM

And this is what life is like? Lol…I saw a Star Trek episode (from the original series in 1964) where a time traveller, from another planet, was in an office, in a building, in one of our cities. He is holding his pet cat, looking out the window, down on the street where he sees crowded traffic, and lots of people going this way and that, like you do in any busy city. He says to his cat, “I don’t know how these humans can live like this. Primitive, isn’t it?” The cat, from his planet, can understand him. That is how I feel when I read this article and see people running around like chickens with their head cut off. Their must be a better way then this….lol.

Michelle October 29, 2008, 4:36 PM

OMG Cheryl!!! Do you WORK for a vibrator company or something??? Are you getting that nobody wants to talk sex with you!!!!
Good luck to all the mommies doing the best they can with what they have!!!!

Cheryl October 29, 2008, 4:53 PM

No, I do not work for a vibrator company Michelle. Are you getting that I am just responding to the comments and your question, that are made to my posts. I truly enjoy my pocket rocket and from experience, I am telling you and others that it works in keeping you relaxed and happy in everyone’s very busy days.

Good luck to all the mommies doing the best they can. What I suggest does work. Try it, you’ll like it.

TOCHERYL October 29, 2008, 5:00 PM

CHERYL….what am I supposed to say to my kids when I have a vibrator going off all day in my pants as it sounds like you do? Save you batteries for your kids toys!!!

Cheryl October 29, 2008, 8:10 PM

To TOCHERYL, you only have the vibrator going off in your pants when you use the bathroom by yourself for a few minutes or when the kids are napping or anytime you get a moment or two to yourself. As a mom, with kids myself, no matter how busy and hectic my day gets, I still get a few moments here and there to myself. That’s when I use the pocket rocket and get my pleasure. You and I, do not have to tell our kids anything about it.

TOCHERYL October 29, 2008, 11:12 PM

Besides going into a bathroom and getting off while my kids are banging on the door because they want to be with me is creepy…Cheryl, some things like Masturbating needs to be done while the kids are not 10 feet from you…and the fact that you have to get off so many times a day is a bit concerning or that is what you need to do to get through your day!!!

WONDERINGIFCHERYLISFORREAL????? October 29, 2008, 11:21 PM

Cheryl…going into a bathroom while my kids are 7 feet away banging on the door…while I am masturbating is extremely creepy!!! The fact that you have to masturbate as many times a day you do or at all to get through your day makes me wonder how much time do you spend with your kids??? It seems all you do is get off…how about going to a sex addicts anonymous meeting…or would you have your pocket rocket in your pants there too?

Cheryl October 30, 2008, 12:12 PM

TO CHERYL and WONDERINGIFCHERYLISFORREAL, did you also see, in my short post, when I said you can do this when the kids are napping or anytime you get a moment or two to yourself or did you just skip over that part? I teach my kids not to bang on the door when I am in the bathroom. It is not that hard to do. So many times a day? I did not say how many times a day I g*et o*ff. You a*ss u me that you know how many times. I will tell you though. About 3 to 4 times a day. Not so many unless you are prudish. That is what relaxes me and makes me happy. As for how long, every day, I spend with my kids, from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. So cl*imaxing 3 to 4 times a day qualifies me to go to a s*ex anonymous meeting? Lol…I think you need a p*ocket r*ocket or at least you need to loosen up your tightly wound attitude about o*rgasms.

Sira October 30, 2008, 2:21 PM

Thanks for sharing your story. I can totally relate to this. It’s my every day life, except that I don’t work but take classes on-line.

Momof5! October 31, 2008, 3:00 PM

So is there a suggestion to strap on without showering and not knowing when you’ll be able to…? Wow, that’s special! I also work from home and I’m pulling my hair out like Jackie most days although I stopped volunteering at school. I just don’t have time. I attend all parties and send supplies. I also attend 97% of their fieldtrips. It is extremely rewarding having children and I couldn’t imagine not having my Young Lady and Lil Guys. And yes it’s hard. Very hard. Right now I’m working and I took a vacation day to play catch-up and get ready for a crazy night of trick or treating! My husband helps but he too works strange hours and jumps in when he gets home. I have to admit, some of the responses in this blog are hilarious! Thank you for the laugh! Have a wonderful weekend Ladies!

Anonymous November 3, 2008, 2:23 PM

When my son is sick I have to work from home and my day can seem like this too. Hopefully you find some days where they aren’t as crazy :)

WAHM too November 5, 2008, 4:31 PM

I can totally relate- I am greateful my mom comes to help out with my 19month old but even working from home while she’s in the house is insanity- I don’t know how you do it!

Also- does momlogic have anyway to delete Cheryl- I accidentally clicked her name and ended up at a website where I didn’t want to go.

Jeanette November 6, 2008, 11:33 AM

I do not get your point you are doing what society says you should be doing.
Why do women keep complaining when they have kids?
There is something called birth control

Ashley November 29, 2008, 11:11 AM

I don’t think it’s very fair to your coworkers that you’re getting absolutely no work done during the day. I know you’re not goofing off, but you’re getting paid for doing nothing.

You’re doing half-assed work and half-assed paying attention to your kids. Everyone loses.

Sarah Bray January 19, 2009, 2:01 PM

OH MY GOODNESS, YES! I completely and totally relate. Thankfully, my kids are 3 and 2 now…wait. I have a whole new set of difficulties now. Never mind. ;)

Allie January 19, 2009, 2:25 PM

Oh my! I can totally relate! I have had many days just like that. I am feeling your pain. Keep me away from a window on the worse of days LOL.

Rita May 18, 2010, 2:44 PM

Crazy.


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