I Can Relate to Casey Anthony

I Can Relate to Casey Anthony

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guest Blogger Frazzled Mama: Sometimes I think accused mom Casey Anthony and I have something in common.

I'll let you in on a secret: When I see those pictures of Casey Anthony out partying the days after her child had gone missing, I empathize with her. That look on her face is that of a woman who -- in a fit of desperation -- may have chosen to sedate her own child for a couple hours of freedom. And then something went terribly wrong.

As a mom trying to balance work, family and sanity, there are times when I want nothing more than to go back to my free and single days with no responsibly to anyone but myself. I truly know how she feels. But unlike what Casey may have done, I would never harm my child to make that dream come true. I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible. But if any of us were to be honest with ourselves, can any mother say they are 100% happy being a mother 100% of the time?

There are days when we moms, especially those with young children, are so worn out, so tired, so frustrated that we wish our kids would just go away. That we could just snap our fingers and Poof! they'd disappear. Usually, for the most part, these feelings pass and we're yanked back into reality by a toddler hug or a smile or just a deep breath -- suddenly everything is worthwhile. Sadly, women like Casey Anthony don't snap back and they do the unthinkable. I know for myself there are times--rarely--when I think if I had it to do all over again maybe having children wasn't the best choice for me.

Of course we're never supposed to even admit anything like that. Mothers are supposed to be selfless creatures living only for their children. Sacrificing everything for family. With that lofty expectation of motherhood, no wonder mothers are prone to depression, self-doubt, huge amounts of crushing guilt and despite it all there are of course moments of incredible joy.

Are you ALWAYS glad to be a mother?

326 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

(cont) It is impossible to ACCURATELY empathize with an individual who in no way feels or thinks the way the average person does. And the average person does not harm children. I do not understand why some people have a hard time empathizing with a normal human response to a potential child homicide. I really do not.

- Heather

Posted 11/13/08 04:20 PM

OKAY- GOT THE POINT!!! What does “every mother needing a little time by herself once in a while” have to do with with Casey Anthony murdering her child? I don’t really understand what one has to do with the other unless the author is saying Casey murdered her daughter so she could have some me time. Geeeshhh!

- lespal

Posted 11/13/08 07:00 PM

I really cannot relate to this Anthony character. I do NOT understand where she is coming from…not long after possibly killing her daughter, she goes out and hits parties? Nope. Sorry. If, as a parent, I need to get out and just have fun then I find a babysitter [that exsists] and then I find a few friends and take money out that I have earned while working and I go out and enjoy myself over drinks and dinner or dancing. Thats normal. NEVER would I be able to relate to a scumbag like Casey. NOthing so shallow as a social life would push me to take a chance on physically harming my child. I hesitate to give her friggin’ Tylenol for crying out loud! This whole story makes me sick. Blah-Blah is making money off of this…So-n-So is getting funds for that…oh look! ABC…Hey I’ve got a story for you…. How about they concentrate on finding the poor, precious child and at least let someone rest who deserves it.

- Theresa

Posted 11/13/08 10:04 PM

“I would cut off my right arm before I would ever think that I did not want to be a mother.” That’s all you would do? Really? Your right arm? So your right arm means more to you than motherhood?! You must be a terrible mother. A good portion of you all missed the whole point of this post. Did you even make it past the title? Do you know how to read anything past ‘Love you Forever’ and ‘Everybody Poops’? READ. The author says she would never do what Casey did. Being a ‘loving mother’ doesn’t make you a perfect person, nor does it give you the right to play ignorant. There isn’t anything that you can say to bother me; I know I’m way better off than you because I have a brain that works in more than one dimension.

- Lou

Posted 11/13/08 11:41 PM

I used to party completely out of control. I am what most would consider a full blown alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t think I would ever quit. But I did. After I had kids. Now the only thing I want is to be with my family. I work, of course, and as far as I am concerned, that’s my “me time.” It’s a shame that so many women think it’s a burden to care for their kids, and even more shameful that we complain about it. That just makes our kids feel like burdens to us. I know all mothers have moments of what feels like desperation, but for any mother to say they can relate to wishing their kids away, I don’t get it. I don’t even think I am a very good mother, but I don’t understand that one bit. Like the mother with the child with cancer said, don’t take any time for granted, because ANYTHING can happen in this crazy world. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!

- MyKidsSavedMe

Posted 11/14/08 12:07 AM

Are you kidding me?? Please seek professional help. There are days when I may say “oh remember the Sunday afternoon naps”. While I remember them fondly and sometimes would love a nap, I would never in a million years consider harming my child or drugging her so I could nap or escape mommy duty. There is no justification for her behavior or actions. Obtaining lethan chemicals to sedate your child is not a terrible mistake gone wrong- it is criminal!!!!! No justification for this! The thought that Casey needed to escape being a mommy to live out a fantasy is perverse!

- Carrie

Posted 11/14/08 03:33 AM

If you are not done with your partying and behaving like a child then she should have never gotten pregnant! There are too many people that cannot have children and want them deeply. She could have given her to her parents or even a friend, somebody would have taken that precious little girl, Caylee! Yes I agree yes that a mother does need time to themselves every once in a while, but that doesnt mean to go and do what Casey has done. She is ungreatful and she deserves to be punished for what she has done. But then again she doesnt care, because she thinks that she is going to get away with what she has done. Well I hope that is not the case. Hope she sits back and thinks to herself…..Was this all worth me wanting to go out and party? Lets see how much partying she gets done sitting in prison. As far as Cindy and George goes, they need to quit lying for their daughter and except that she is not a goood person. I think they all have lied throughout this whole investigation and in the end the world will see the truth.

- stac

Posted 11/14/08 03:15 PM

I am appauled that you being a mother would actually post a blog with those words. You are no mother if you can not be happy 100% of the time. That is what being a mother is. I think you are on the sick side and someone should watch you because you sound like you are on the track of being the next Casey Anthony.

- J

Posted 11/14/08 04:16 PM

This is an f’d up way of thinking. I was a young mother. But you know what? With father or without, you have nine months to adjust and get your priorities straight. Yeah, things can get tough at times, but I would have never wished a life without my children. It appears that Casey had plenty of family support,so “sad excuse”! So let’s face it, Casey’s a psychopath and she’s guilty in the disappearance of her daughter.

- Anonymous

Posted 11/14/08 08:38 PM

This article might have been written more effectivley if it didn’t relate to Casey Anthony. I will admit there are times where being a mother becomes difficult, however I would not relate that topic to someone who mudered there child. It never goes over well. This topic written by itself, fine. But no in the midst of a person on trial for murder. NOBODY wants to relate with someone who has lied and not reported there child missing until 31 days later, followed by the presence of decomposition in the drunk of the mothers car… got it?

- Heather

Posted 11/15/08 06:45 AM

Who on planet earth knows how Casey Anthony feels? Why don’t we just leave that up to the experts. Don’t assume parents feel as you do. Everyone has a bad day but they don’t contemplate eliminating their families or wishing they were gone. Instead of writing these posts why don’t you get away from the computer and do something nice for yourself and the kids. Breathe in some nice clean air, put the kids in the stroller and walk and talk until you have gotten rid of all those horrid thoughts.

- Boston

Posted 11/15/08 02:11 PM

I agree with you 100%, I have 3 kids and 4 grand children. Trust me many times I have wanted to be free and single more than once. I think you are on the right track frazzled mama. You are a smart cookie… Give your kids a hug and remember there are babysitters every where if only for a couple of hrs.

- Urnana1

Posted 11/15/08 02:49 PM

I cannot relate to Casey Anthony. I believe you threw in that part of your blog to attract attention to it. I can, however relate to your “real” feelings of being overwhelmed. I think it is sad that there are so many women out there who have given their former selves up completely for their kids. I HAVE thought about what my life would be like right now if I didnt have my kids. It is a thankless and selfless job, all the time. There are no (immediate) rewards, no compensation and most often mothers dont get much respect in the world being just a “homemaker”. I would be worried about the mothers in denial of their own feelings harming their children long before you, since they dont even admit to themselves that at times they want to get away. Their worlds will crumble when those feelings start to take over leading to bad parenting, neglect, divorce, etc. How sad for their children to be raised by parents who cant even be honest with themselves. It is likely, you all are raising a few of your own “Casey Anthonys” by teaching them the very principles that most likely pushed this woman over the edge.

- Real Mom

Posted 11/16/08 02:30 PM

Just because you don’t have a job doesn’t mean you don’t have stress. In fact, you have more of it, because you feel bad about yourself for being unemployed, not pulling your weight. Working can have a great positive influence on self-respect.

- Gloria

Posted 11/16/08 11:57 PM

Wow, lots of women afraid to hear the truth here. It’s attitudes like this that lead so many women suffering from post-partum depression to commit suicide. Unless we as women and mothers can become comfortable with and supportive of each other - even in these dark, sometimes scary moments of confession - we will never be able to *really* teach our children the true meaning of empathy and compassion. Would you rather your friend talk to you about the disturbing feeling of sometimes wishing her kids would disappear so you could encourage and help her, or would you rather your friend wallow in her guilt-ridden fearful thoughts and do the unthinkable because she simply can’t handle it anymore and has been taught by her “friends” that asking for help is weak, wrong and makes her a bad mother? We must be willing to hear these feelings from ourselves and others so that we can face them, address them, and move past them with real help and encouragement.

- Crystal Arcand

Posted 11/17/08 10:54 AM

I am so tired of hearing all the whining of single motherhood! In most cases these single moms have their ex helping out with shared custody,money,and all the grandparents,and close kin to share and LOVE the children. My God,Casey should have given Caylee to her parents to care for her. I hope Casy gets the death penalty.

- just my opinion

Posted 11/17/08 11:01 AM

i think everyone is missing the point of this blog.the writer is saying it would be fun to be carefree for a day not that she wants to kill her kids.i love my kids and i’m proud to be their mom but there are days that i am soooo happy that they are staying over at a friends house so i can have some me/quiet time.more moms should admitt that they feel overwhelmed and maybe there would be less parenting depression and fewer parents that do stupid things to their children.Casey anthony took “me time” to a whole new level and she needs to be punished for what she did.

- renee

Posted 11/17/08 12:03 PM

i think what everyone is forgetting is that casey anthony is a freaking nut job and only cared about herself.the blogger didnt say that, she just said she would like to be carefree not that she wanted to kill her kids.being a parent isnt always easy or fun; all of the time,its how u handle the bad or stressful times that makes u a good parent.

- renee

Posted 11/17/08 12:23 PM

Relax people. I don’t think most of you are really being honest here. I adore my daughter also, but everyone has different situations. I am a single mom with absolutely no outside help at all. I feel exhausted almost all of the time. I can relate to what the writer is saying. NOT in the fact that I would EVER do anything to harm my child…GOD NO, but being able to have the freedom that other moms have who have support systems. I don’t get a momemts peace for ME TIME. My daughter is an only child and demands constant interaction. The is no girls nite out, or reading a book, or even taking a bath in peace. Rather than saying Poof, I wish she could temporarily disappear, I wish I had someone to say, relax, she’s in good hands…enjoy YOURSELF for a moment. I think if I had that, maybe I would be a better mom sometimes. Everyone needs a moment to relax, regroup or recharge their batteries.

- Liz

Posted 11/17/08 02:03 PM

I think you’re a very selfish person. I think you feel as if life revolves around YOU. WOW You sure do need God.

- Jeff

Posted 11/18/08 09:15 AM