I Can Relate to Casey Anthony

I Can Relate to Casey Anthony

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guest Blogger Frazzled Mama: Sometimes I think accused mom Casey Anthony and I have something in common.

I'll let you in on a secret: When I see those pictures of Casey Anthony out partying the days after her child had gone missing, I empathize with her. That look on her face is that of a woman who -- in a fit of desperation -- may have chosen to sedate her own child for a couple hours of freedom. And then something went terribly wrong.

As a mom trying to balance work, family and sanity, there are times when I want nothing more than to go back to my free and single days with no responsibly to anyone but myself. I truly know how she feels. But unlike what Casey may have done, I would never harm my child to make that dream come true. I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible. But if any of us were to be honest with ourselves, can any mother say they are 100% happy being a mother 100% of the time?

There are days when we moms, especially those with young children, are so worn out, so tired, so frustrated that we wish our kids would just go away. That we could just snap our fingers and Poof! they'd disappear. Usually, for the most part, these feelings pass and we're yanked back into reality by a toddler hug or a smile or just a deep breath -- suddenly everything is worthwhile. Sadly, women like Casey Anthony don't snap back and they do the unthinkable. I know for myself there are times--rarely--when I think if I had it to do all over again maybe having children wasn't the best choice for me.

Of course we're never supposed to even admit anything like that. Mothers are supposed to be selfless creatures living only for their children. Sacrificing everything for family. With that lofty expectation of motherhood, no wonder mothers are prone to depression, self-doubt, huge amounts of crushing guilt and despite it all there are of course moments of incredible joy.

Are you ALWAYS glad to be a mother?

326 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Whew, Nicole, thanks..I was a little worried there for a second, as you totally sounded like a level headed smart person. I GET the fact that the blogger is stressed, but to wish they would disappear? Might have been a little slip on her part to say that, but she fully deserves these posts, b/c maybe if she really isnt telling US something else, she tells SOMEONE else, and gets some help, so she could never have that thought in her head again. It just makes me sad, and to all those who said above that we are denying the truth, yadda yadda…no, not at all…do we admit to wanting BREAKS, sure…at ANY cost, nope! The mere thought of my child disappearing makes me very sick and not want to continue on with life at all..no matter how crazy he makes me at times. :)

- Mother of one amazing boy

Posted 11/11/08 04:35 PM

Never had that thought. I was/am a single mom when I got pregnat I stopped all my “partying” and focused on my child and taking care of him. It was not his fault he was brought into this world it was mine. I raised him on my own and yes wanted lots of times to go out with freinds but did not. My son is now 22 years old and has just become a police officer. I am very proud of him it was not easy but it can be done. There is no sense in what Casey has done to this child. She could have allowed her mother to take this baby and walked away. She had other options, she was just too evil to see them.

- Deb

Posted 11/11/08 04:40 PM

Mother of one, I have a boy as well, how old is your son? Mine is turning 3 next month. I agree with you about the breaks, at any cost ABSOLUTELY NOT. Usually I will sit down and have a glass of wine at night after I put my son to bed just to mellow out but thats as far as it goes!!!!

- Nicole

Posted 11/11/08 04:43 PM

Frazzled Mama, What shocked me the most about your comment was the fact that you didn’t wish away the laundry, cooking, making beds, grocery shopping, doing dishes, working outside the home, etc. No, you wished that your daughter, a precious, beautiful human being could disappear from your life, not the house work or your job. I raised four beautiful kids by myself and worked a full time job and I can tell you that I loved every minute of it. Never even for an instant did I ever wish that my kids weren’t there. I would venture to say that most mothers feel exactly the way I do. I may have wished that the housework and chores would disappear but NEVER my children. I was ready to say that maybe it’s because I’m not from the ‘What’s in it for me, me, me’ generation’ but I know too many super great mom’s who are from that generation, but they are not linked to it through selfishness. Sadly for your daughter, it is probably true when you said “Maybe having children wasn’t the best choice for me.” Because you are NOT a mother, you are simply a woman with a child, who in my opinion needs professional help. Please seek professional help because when you said “for the most part, these feeling pass” well, there may be a time that it doesn’t and that’s alarming. Let me add that I am not a real therapist… only a therapist wannabe who missed her calling!

- Monday Morning Therapist

Posted 11/11/08 04:45 PM

OMG….I can’t believe anyone could “relate” to this blog. Yes, I work full time, yes I get tired and frustrated but not one time have I EVER questioned my decision to have kids and be a mom. Of course we’d all like a little more time to ourselves but that is different than saying your decision to have kids may have been a mistake (even if it’s a fleeting thought as the blogger states). Casey Anthony is a monster and deserves what ever punishment she gets. And as for “Guest Blogger Frazzled Mama” I agree, you need help!

- Mom of 3 young kids

Posted 11/11/08 04:45 PM

Well, first of all, seeing the title of this thread on my google newspage for Casey Anthony, I HAD to click on it because it was so intriguing and puzzling. While reading it, I figured that it was meant to be controversial and to open up dialogue. Perhaps it was even meant as a method to get Casey to feel safe enough to confess. I think it partially succeeded. This is such a deadly serious topic — motherhood and child murder — that there is little wiggle room for uncomfortable opinions. I think you succeeded in finding a new twist and creating controversy for sure — but the dialogue it sparked indicates to me that it is far too painful of a subject for most of us, and so the dialogue is not as productive because people are frightened and defensive (and perhaps rightly so). Whether it could change Casey’s attitude remains to be seen. Personally I doubt it because SHE appears unable to relate! IMO it was very brave to write this, albeit anonymously, but still…you took a risk and I commend that. While I will readily admit that I felt entirely overwhelmed as a young mother and now often feel overwhelmed as the mother of 24 yo and 19 yo, I could never admit that I related to this situation. When I see the pictures of Casey out partying, I can relate even LESS — I search her face for some twinge of horror, grief or remorse, and I see none. I cannot relate to that — I believe in my heart that if the scenario was as you described (an accidental death) I would crumble mentally and physically and would feel my life was over. Whether I was convicted of a crime or not, I’d call 911 and ask for help to possibly rescusitate the baby —anything. Knowing my child died at my hands, the idea even worse because it happened while I was doing something morally reprehensible, I don’t think I’d want to live, let alone party. I’d cooperate with authorities because I’d already lost the most important thing in my life, and no amount of jail time or even the death penalty would scare me. In fact, I think it very likely that I would become suicidal.

- blackcat

Posted 11/11/08 04:46 PM

Are you serious? I think someone needs to take your kids away from you before you follow in Casey’s footsteps!

- Anonymous

Posted 11/11/08 04:51 PM

Hey Nicole, Stop drinking the Casey Koolaid.

- ftknows

Posted 11/11/08 05:14 PM

Ftknows - GET A GRIP!

- Nicole

Posted 11/11/08 05:17 PM

Hey Nicole, On second thought DRINK UP !!!

- ftknows

Posted 11/11/08 05:48 PM

This blog needs to be put to rest. Poor taste doesn’t even come close to being an adequate description. It is down-right sickening to even think that anyone would feel this desperate with their parental obligations, and if they do, maybe they should seek medical help. I was a stay at home mom myself to 3 children, and never once did these kinds of thoughts creep into the recesses of my mind. If I needed a break, I made the appropriate arrangements. I would be truly ashamed to make this kind of a confession to anyone…not normal!! Please - talk to a professional about what you’re feeling!

- becca

Posted 11/11/08 05:52 PM

Fer real doh who the heck has empathy for killr fer real..who ok I mean I can see how sum ppl get stressd out from motherhood I am not one of them but I can see how sum woman might wunt to glitch…ok fine but having empathy for a woman a grown woman who killd her kid so she culd go out and rent movies and have a bootie call thats insane..maniac phyco hose beast material..yah so take yer empathy down to mental health…fer real what county you in cus i will look it up for yah!!

- StoopdwomenneednotApply

Posted 11/11/08 06:23 PM

Casey Anthony stressed? She lived with her parents who did everything for her and her child along with paid for everything. This woman didn’t even work. If you need a break, you go for a walk or something you don’t kill your child.

- Anonymous

Posted 11/11/08 06:24 PM

I think I understand exactly what you are saying. I seriously do get so angry sometimes that I wish I could just smother my kids to death with a pillow case, but of course I’d never do that. Any other parent reading this knows that deep down inside they feel the same way sometimes, there is no denying it. What gets me is that I’m sure whatever happened was an accident. She should just fess up and admit to it and hope to get a light manslaughter charge. Hopefully she will grow from this whole ordeal.

- Emily Prose

Posted 11/11/08 06:27 PM

Wow Emily, that is a strong way to say that. I think you’ve just opened yourself up with that one! I can honestly say that I’ve never gotten so angry that I could just smother anyone, let alone my kids, to death! After all of these other posts I would have thought you’d choose your words a little more carefully. Yikes! Do you mind if I ask you how old you are and how many kids do you have and how old are they? I sure hope you have a support system in place so that you can get a break if you need it.

- connie

Posted 11/11/08 06:35 PM

First of all, casey didnt work, balance a lifestyle, pay bill’s, or deal with everyday stresses, she had her parents there to take care of everything. She is in her own category, and that is a selfish little brat who just wanted to go and party and pretend that she didnt have a child. She was enabbled way to much by her parents to act that way. That poor little baby was a burden to her, some women dont have that motherly feeling, and I dont think she did. She is a socialpath just like her mother had said.

- liz

Posted 11/11/08 06:38 PM

This post is simply saying sometimes ALL mothers feel overwhelmed: Presumably, one mom, Casey, has killed her child, a horrific crime — ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM moms who are overwhelmed hire a babysitter and THIS mom - sometimes dreams of being childless. RELAX everyone. Nobody is condoning murder. Re-read this post and you will see that this woman’s child is in no danger.

- Relax People

Posted 11/11/08 06:43 PM

We all get tired at times…but i never thought once to sedate my child ..so i can have time for my self ….one thing Casey did not work so what the heck did she do all day …expect be with one man after other …Im sure if she needed time for herself the grandparents would of watch Caylee…Casey should rot in jail…why doesnt she tell where Caylee is …

- MADDIE

Posted 11/11/08 06:51 PM

Seems to me that Casey never needed a ‘break’ from trying to manage the ‘pressure’ of balancing work, child etc. It is well know that she was unemployed for atleast the last year & she had the support (financial AND emotional) of her family. She was just a party girl who saw her lovely child as a burden rather that a blessing. Sad story no matter how it’s looked at.

- Diabolique

Posted 11/11/08 06:59 PM

Casey wasn’t overwhelmed by motherhood! She was a lazy, selfish, sack of you know what! She didn’t work, she let her parents financially raise her daughter, she partied more than any single mother I’ve ever seen, and she had a new lover seemingly every other week! This wasn’t a girl who was tired of being a mom… this is a girl who never wanted to be a mom to begin with.

- Jennifer

Posted 11/11/08 07:03 PM