Momlogic's Jayne: My husband used to date supermodels. He dated, and even married a couple of, tall, skinny, perfect women -- many of whom you've seen on the covers of magazines.

That means that instead of having to compete (in my mind) with cute, perky and super fun ex-girlfriends -- I have to compete with women who've bared nearly all in Sports Illustrated. And to tell you the truth, I think it's making me crazy.

Now, I know this isn't a problem that most women find themselves faced with -- and to that I say, "Lucky you!" But most (not all) women have at one time or another compared themselves to their partner's former girlfriends or wives. Maybe the exes were prettier than you, maybe they were smarter, or maybe they merely shared your husband's love of football (the sport you can't stand.) But at some point or another we've all said, "What did she have that I don't?"

Well, for me, I have no idea whether his exes shared anything in common with him -- all I know is that they are tall, skinny, and look effortlessly chic at all times. They're considered to be some of the most beautiful women in the world and they have bodies that most men drool over.

My husband NEVER brings these women up to me -- in fact he doesn't even bat an eyelash or say a single word when one of them pops up on TV or in a magazine when we are together.
But that doesn't change the fact that -- judging by his track record -- he likes "model type" women. And I'm not one of them.

In the beginning of our relationship, I was obsessed by the fact that he dated models. I wanted to be as pretty as them (I'm not), as thin as them (I'm not), and as desired as them (once again, I'm not). I was so obsessed back then that I dieted (as in starved) myself down to 129 lbs. Now, that may not seem super skinny to most but on my 5'10" frame it was THIN -- so thin in fact that even my (not then) husband told me that I looked gross. I gained back the weight, but I still felt that I wasn't all that I could be -- all that I could be, if I were skinnier.

I've never gone to that extreme again, but I still want to be skinnier than I already am. I want to be so skinny that people actually tell me, "You're SOOO skinny." I want to be so skinny that I can throw on any old pair of jeans and look hot. I want to be so skinny that people tell me I need to gain some weight.

I am a smart woman and I know that this isn't right but I can't help myself -- I look at myself and everyone around me and measure them again by my unreal, unattainable, and most likely unhealthy standards.

I absolutely don't blame my husband's former choice in partners for my body image issues, but I DO blame myself for buying into the notion that Skinny = Happy. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but notice that I am happier when I'm thinner -- I feel better, I look better, I'm more active, and I feel like people are nicer to me.

I'm not the only woman who feels this way -- but I might be one of the few who admits it. All day long I hear tales of perfectly beautiful, fit women dieting to lose weight. None of these women's husbands dated supermodels, so where did their issues come from? I have no idea but I have to be honest -- in this day and age I don't think that there's any way to avoid it. Everyone wants to be thin because if you're not, you're looked down upon by people like me (and whether people admit it or not, there are A LOT of people like me).

Before everyone judges me for judging others, let's be perfectly clear -- I don't judge ANYONE as harshly as I judge myself -- and I don't think OTHER people have to be rail thin or model pretty to be beautiful, just me.

All that being said, I'm not proud of how I am. I'm so NOT proud that I'm making it my New Year's resolution to work on not judging others AND myself so harshly. I'll let you know how it works out.

Does anyone else out there feel this way?