One mom wants to know why moms are so chintzy when it comes to giving each other kudos.
Guest blogger Maria wonders, where are all the mom compliments?
One of the most surprising things I've found about being a mother is I'm finding it's much more common to find mom competition than it is to find mom compliments. What's with this?
I'm just as guilty. Before I was a mother I threw around "you're a great mom" and "I can learn a lot from your parenting" like they were going out of style. Now I find that I'm more likely to talk to my husband about my friend's bad parenting choices than I am their amazing skill. I never thought I'd be this person.
Why is it that there is so much mom competition? We all love our friends' kids and our nieces and nephews. So, where have all the compliments gone? Why is it so hard to build each other up as parents? When our friends' husband acts like an ass, we tell her she doesn't deserve it. But if her kid is a tattle-tale - all bets are off. We call our other friend to discuss all the incorrect choices she's making to perpetuate his behavior.
No one is banging down my door complimenting me for how great of a mom I am either. Maybe this is the reason I'm not giving out the props so easily - it's some sort of defensive reaction. But it seems so counterproductive. We second guess our parental choices so much as it is, it only makes sense we help each other to feel more confident. When I take a moment to think of this logically, I realize that my friends are doing what's best for their kids and I'm doing the same for mine. All of our kids are great. So why is it so hard not to judge one another? Who started this unspoken stand off? Is there a way to stop it?
I am going to begin an experiment - I will give out at least one mom compliment a day. It shouldn't be hard. I see moms coming up with amazing solutions, creative ideas and useful tricks every day - and just plain being loving toward their children. Maybe it will be a pay-it-forward situation and what I think are my well-deserved compliments will finally arrive. I know that kudos aren't the reason to be a mother, but it would be nice if women focused on how to build each other up - especially when it comes to our hardest and most overwhelming job.