Mom Lukewarm on the Word "Hot"

Mom Lukewarm on the Word "Hot"

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

filed under: family

Guest blogger Homeschooling Mom, says: Teaching my son to respect girls would be easier if the girls had any for themselves.

My 13-year-old son has barely glanced at girls. Yet, while we were driving the other day he said, "Everybody thinks Wendy is hot." "Hot," from my son's mouth sounded quite rude to me. I had never really thought about it until he uttered it, calling a girl "hot" is reducing her to a primarily sexual being. I didn't want my son to view girls as mere play things, here to ogle and make lascivious comments about.

So, I told him. I went into a long mom lecture. "It is one thing to admire beauty and be attracted to a girl, but show them respect. Would you want someone discussing your little sisters like that when they are older? How about saying something like that about me, your own mom? All females are daughters or sisters or mothers..." And my lecture went on.

He took it to heart because he is an earnest young man and said he would do his best to treat women as people of equal worth and respect as men. I dropped him off at swim team feeling like I had done something good for society and my son, and went about my business until it was time to pick him up.

When he got back into the car he preceded to tell me how the older girls in the lane next to him were asking if any of the boys had made out with a girl before. They also wanted to know which girls the boys thought were hot.

AHHHHHH! So much for upholding standards to protect the dignity of women -- it appears a lot of young women don't have any anyway.

7 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Yeah, I agree. It’s really sad that our highly sexualized society has removed the decency and innocence from our children way too early. Here is the part that I don’t understand, though: people want to teach sexual education at a younger and younger age. They want to legalize gay marriage. They want to do all of these things that bring sex into the forefront of our minds, but they also want to preserve the innocence of their children. Hmm… maybe if we keep sex in the private bedroom our kids will learn to respect their bodies and those of the opposite sex at little more. Call me crazy, but isn’t it logical that if they aren’t exposed to sex, they won’t talk about it? I guess we as parents can certainly play a role in this. Even though some people don’t hold themselves to a high standard doesn’t mean that we or our children don’t need to be held to a high standard. I’m certainly glad that my parents raised me in such a way, and I plan to do the same thing with my children.

- Kate

Posted 11/19/08 12:44 PM

I am a homeschooling mom of girls and boys who couldn’t agree more! Two years ago my 14 year old daughter came home upset because the girls in her class (small school only 12 in the grade) were making fun of her because she is not allowed to go to parties or drink alchohol. Our Christian faith does not approve of these things anyway. But that wasn’t all, then the prank phone calls started from both boys and girls! I couldn’t believe that kids could use their home phone and make such comments with pearents home…but most of the time pearents weren’t home, or their son or daughter used their own personal cell phone.(This is a whole issue in itself) I did call a couple of the pearents back, out of the five or six, one did something!! The others came back with comments like “boys will be boys”, or “girls can be mean”…I don’t care; wrong is wrong! Or there was the question raised about what my daughter might have said to them to get their defenses up. I know what she said, she told them is was degrading to themselves and she was worth more than that. But who’s child isn’t?? Then after several weeks of this my daughter did the unthinkable, she told one of the girls harrassing her that she was glad her dad was dead and not around to see what a fool she was being. My daughter got suspended for three days over this. My husband and I decided enough was enough. We started homeschooling our children from then on. Guess what happened, a rumor started around the school about my daughter being pregnant and that was why she had to leave school!! We gave that rumor what it was worth which was nothing, and things seem to have calmed cown. It seems like as pearents if you want your children to grow up respecting themselves and others, public school is not the place, and that is very sad. If homeschooling becomes outlawed, you had better bet things had better straighten up, or else what this mom plans to do is ride the schoolboard about enforcing respect and decency like you wouldn’t believe. My 18 year old son has started dating a girl who was raised to be a young lady, and she is so sweet, and so NICE, she is every mother’s dream

- homeschooling mom

Posted 11/19/08 01:10 PM

homeschooling mom - I totally feel for you. That would be a really tough situation to be in, and I hope to never find myself in the same situation. Keep in mind, though, that Jesus promised that Christians (myself included) would be persecuted. You have to stand up for what you believe no matter what other people say. No one ever said that it would be easy. Your daughter needs to learn that the world is full of people like those in your small town. She can’t always escape them. I was teased and made fun of too for being a virgin and being a Christian. The truth is that people feel threatened by good people who choose to live their lives cleanly. So they attack. The best way to respond is to not be self-righteous or to seal yourself off from them. (I’m not saying that you did any of this. I’m not judging you here.) The best way to respond is to be confident in who you are and what you believe. People will respond to that much more positively. Trust me, I’ve lived it. When you show respect and love to other people, most likely they will not respond with hate. And isn’t that what God called us to do anyway? To love one another?

- Kate

Posted 11/19/08 02:21 PM

Did you happen to ask your son what he meant by hot or what hot means to him? Back in the day we had similiar words. Fox, bad, tough, hunk, dreamy, bodaciaous, babe and the list goes on and on, and they work for both sexes. Please don’t tell me that any of you never used a word or phrase like that. Your son is just using the current slang. I agree that he should respect women, but hot is just another word for attractive. If he used attractive would you have been upset? Be thankful that he wants to share with you, before you give him the once for.

- DStoney

Posted 11/19/08 02:35 PM

I couldn’t agree with all of you more!! I will raise my sons to respect women and my daughter to respect herself, if it takes my last dying breath. My daughter comes home telling me all of the things that the girls in 6th grade are doing and I am appalled!! I just keep telling her to do what she knows is right, regardless of what other kids are doing. Besides, she knows if I find out that she is doing anything improper, that’ll be the end of her life as she knows it.

- Momof3

Posted 11/19/08 05:18 PM

LOL. how true.

- Jo.

Posted 11/20/08 08:11 AM

You think the word “hot” is offensive?? LOL. I’d love to see your reaction to the stuff your kids are saying when you aren’t there. Grow up.

- J

Posted 12/07/08 12:24 AM