(Almost) Divorced Daddy's Girl

(Almost) Divorced Daddy's Girl

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Guest Blogger Mom on the Edge: The fights, name calling, crying, complaining. Nearly six months of marital turmoil so bad that one minute we're on, the next we're off. My head is spinning. It's taking it's toll -- on me, certainly on my fifteen-month-old son and on my dad.

My dad is my best friend. We're alike in ways that I'm sure piss my mother off. They split up before I turned one. Yes, I'm daddy's girl and it breaks my heart that my dad has to witness my heart breaking. He worries for me as a parent whose child has picked the wrong partner and he worries for me as a parent whose been through divorce himself.

Some people say divorce is worse than death. If your husband dies family and friends gather 'round the grieving widow, there's sympathy, rituals, support. When you get a divorce there's blame, picking sides, a man who's still alive and may be trying to make your life miserable. You're expected to forget about how you were once best friends. You're forced to overlook years of your life. And it hurts!

I'm torn because I want to call my dad when my husband walks out after an argument. I want to talk to him about the money missing from my joint account. I want to speak to my father because he knows what I'm going through first hand, he listens intently and he's my biggest fan. But, I can't bear the pain I know he's feeling for me.

6 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I am also very close with my dad and anytime there is something wrong between me and my husband I want to call him asap, but I dont because I fear that it will only make things worse. My husband once asked me after a fight if he and my dad were both dying who would I choose to be with. I feel that this is totally unfair question to ask of me I love them both and I honestly dont know if I would be by him or my dad and I know our fights over my dad would possibly cause us to divorce so that is why I dont at all costs try to involve my dad in our fights even though I know I would like to have his input.

- tabitha

Posted 11/18/08 05:25 AM

Whatever you do Don’t complain to your parents..either one or your headed for single parenthood!!! I made the biggest mistake of my life and told my family, I am now 54 and alone. My mom passed 3 yrs ago and dad this past June 24th! See, I am alone now! With one cute old poodle. My ex is getting married again. Please don’t feel bad for me. I made my bed but I am alone. Men will be boys and I probably made a big mistake but Thank God I have my friends!! Tabitha, if you let it go…you’ll stay married…and happy. Life is short. Don’t tell other people about your marital problems unless you want to get rid of him. Nobody wants you to be a happily married couple, they don’t realize what they are doing, it’s not that they want you to be unhappy, but it’s the nature of Humans. Be Happy Grin and Bear it! Be happy and Thankful!!!!

- Lori

Posted 11/27/08 10:57 AM

when all of my children, married I said, “if you have problems in your marriage, please do not come to me” Right now I love your wife or your husband, but if you come to me talking about him or her and I might start not liking them and I would love to always love them

- bonnie

Posted 01/04/09 03:03 PM

Bonnie, you sound like my mother and my father. My husband and I started to have issued two years ago and I never told them. I finally mentioned it to my mother when he served my with divorce papers. She stated that she was glad that she had not been in the loop, because she really liked my husband.

- Tweety

Posted 02/06/09 05:27 PM

My mother once told me after I called her when hubby and i were arguing “Don’t tell me about your fights cuz as I love you very much… you two may make up and he is my grandbaby’s dad.. but I may not be able to forgive and forget how he hurts you, and I do not want to become a negative in your relationship” It was some of the best advice she ever gave me.

- NotSoTweetOne

Posted 03/09/09 05:31 PM

Hello! Sorry klooper notwithstanding my english jer, buti danged nice re say gJ$)Kd!!!.

- lelsBoymbob

Posted 09/28/09 08:42 PM