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My Husband is Nice to Me -- And I Don't Like It

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Guest blogger mom-on-the-edge: I'm scared. Something happened. It's completely thrown me for a loop, I can't figure it out and I'm too terrified to ask.

wife looks suspiciously to her husband

For the past two weeks my husband has been ...   get this ... drumroll please ... my husband has been NICE! This man has been hating my guts for what seems like an eternity and, frankly, his sudden change of heart has my head spinning.

Why now? Does he feel guilty? Did he cheat? Did the other woman start making demands? Did he realize there's always a price to pay when you have sex -- even if it's not with a hooker?

Flowers. Dinner. He even rearranged the kitchen to make more counter space! He's acting like he's a part of this household.

We got in a fight and he didn't leave screaming!

Don't get me wrong, it's all very nice, but I don't trust it.

What do you think? Tell us in momlogic community.

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10 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mom of five angels November 17, 2008, 4:52 PM

This is silly. Obviously communication is not a strong point in your relationship which is really sad. You should address your concerns with your husband without being accusing or confrontational but keep in mind if you do be prepared to deal with the truth whatever it is.

Loretta November 17, 2008, 5:55 PM

Wow. I think I’m sad that you feel your husband hates your guts to begin with. :(

Could he just be in the spirits of the upcoming holidays and making an effort to show his affection for a change?

Angela November 17, 2008, 6:14 PM

Ask him what’s up even jokingly. Next time he does something, just go “ok, you’re being too nice, what’d you do??”

Either that or just thank him for all the nice stuff he’s done lately. Maybe he’ll either fess up, act guilty, do it more often because you noticed

Colleen November 17, 2008, 6:58 PM

How do you know he was “hating your guts for an eternity” before? Maybe he was just being a typical clueless guy and being emotionally unresponsive and unavailable and you took it as hating you. Maybe he read a book to try to fix things and it said (duh) be nice to your wife, so he thought he’d give it a spin. On the other hand I don’t know him and you do, so maybe he is up to something.

In the former scenario you need to nurture and encourage him by being super nice in return. Do something special, get him football tickets or cook his fave or something and say, I noticed you’re suddenly being nice to me and I just wanted you to know how much I notice and appreciate it. Maybe it will take him back to what made him marry you in the first place if he is up to something so he will cut it out.

Anonymous November 17, 2008, 7:20 PM

He has a new girlfriend.

Anonymous November 17, 2008, 8:16 PM

Is this a serious post?

Anonymous November 17, 2008, 9:52 PM

apparently not many of these women have read your previous posts or they’d know why you think your husband hates you. but i think you are right…it’s weird after everything else. or maybe a light bulb went off over his head and has realized what a jerk he has been, and there are things that he need to change. so just say thanks and tell him you appreciate it and see what happens.

Natalie November 18, 2008, 7:54 AM

I read the rest of your entries all the way back to June, and honestly, I think he realized how badly he screwed up. He’s probably just trying to make up for all the crap that’s gone on in the last 6 months. Just say thank you, and move on. Don’t dwell too much on it because you don’t want to ruin it! It seems like he’s really trying to make things better between the two of you.

Nichole December 1, 2008, 12:26 PM

I understand completely what you are experiencing…in my case, my husband had another girlfriend, and then he realized that I was more of a woman than she was and our history together and future was more important. He felt that he had to show me how much I was appreciated and loved in order to regain my trust in him. This was 3 years ago…and we have been happier than ever. So dont dwell on it. Remember men take longer to mature than we do and maybe he has come to the realization that one day you will be gone and maybe he realizes now that he has to change in order for you to remain by his side.

sara February 3, 2009, 9:55 PM

be happy!
why are you accusing him, you should be happy and take this as an oppertunity to have a blissful marriage. enjoy it cause it may not last.

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