twitter facebook stumble upon rss

My Vegetarian Son Was Served Hot Dogs

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

And I'm mad as hell!

boy getting hot dog

Guest blogger Gina: Even though I am always very clear that my son does not eat red meat, he was served a beef hot dog on a play date.

When his friend's mom made him the hot dog, my 6-year-old said, "I'm not allowed to eat meat. I only eat veggie dogs."

What was the mom's response? "Just try it ... you'll like it!"

I am thankful he didn't have a reaction ... after all, he's never eaten meat in his life and his little stomach is not used to digesting it.

I haven't said anything to the parents yet and don't know if I should or not. After all, I can't turn back time. But, to me, this is almost as bad as serving a kid with a peanut allergy a PB & J. I always ask parents before a play date if their kids have any dietary restrictions or allergies and am very mindful of that. Why can't other parents show me the same courtesy? Maybe this wasn't a big deal to my son's friend's parents, but it's a VERY big deal to me.

What would you do in my shoes?

next: Healthy Thanksgiving Day Alternatives
92 comments so far | Post a comment now
randall September 29, 2009, 10:54 AM

are you going to baby him his whole life?

Jason September 29, 2009, 11:07 AM

I can understand that you are upset that someone fed your son meat. But in no way is it ANYHTING like a peanut allergy. For all you know he may grow up to be a responsible bacon farmer, and love to eat meat. Just make sure that the “decisions” you make for him are not made into law as he starts getting older and capable of making his own choices.

Carolyn Bahm September 29, 2009, 11:09 AM

I would be mad too; it was disrespectful of the mom, particularly so if you had explicitly explained things to her.

I like bloggingmom67’s response and agree that a non-confrontational but clear conversation is needed. I would add, “Would it help if I sent a veggie meal and snacks with him when he plays over? I’m serious about what he eats, but I don’t want our meal choices to mean extra work for you.”

jenbust September 29, 2009, 11:12 AM

Wow, I’m sorry that happened!! I would be livid and I would definitely say something after I had calmed down. :) It sounds like you were clear that he does not eat meat. Furthermore, your son told her he does not eat meat and she did not care. I’m not saying that she has to make an alternative meal for him during the play date but she could have offered a snack. Better yet, she could call you and tell you the situation and see how you wanted to handle it. What she did was blatant disregard for your wishes for your child.
Personnel, my child would never go back and if she was a friend, I would lose her number. She has no respect for others wishes. With friends like that who needs in-laws. sorry, just had to say it.. ;)~

Anthony September 29, 2009, 11:20 AM

I would serve my son a goddamn hot dog once in awhile. We were meant to eat plants and animals, get over yourself and let him partake in one of life’s most decadent foods. We only get one life, and apparently you want to squeeze it out of this kid. Does he live under the stairs too?

Conor September 29, 2009, 11:25 AM

Shame on you for not better preparing your son. Its your own fault you son stomach is as weak as it is. I regular feed my son small amounts of cyanide to better prepare them in case they are poisoned later in life. Its your own fault for raising your child to be weaker than nature intended. Your methods for raising your kids are everything that is wrong with society.

John September 29, 2009, 2:07 PM

He’s a vegetarian? I didn’t realise 6 was old enough to be gay.

ohbrother November 6, 2009, 9:24 PM

IF he was allergic to it, he would have said he was and guaranteed that would have been respected. He’s not allergic. Like the other poster said, it’s not booze or smokes. Geesh. Why not train him to say his family doesn’t eat meat instead of him saying he’s not allowed to eat meat? That’s like saying he’s not allowed to chew bubble gum yet Johnny’s nice mommy slipped him a piece. Unless you live in a plastic bubble, be prepared for him to come home with other stories far worse than eating a hot dog. What the heck are you going to do if he comes home with a boyfriend? Next play date, send him with his own lunch.

Jane January 19, 2010, 10:43 AM

The bigger issue than diet here is the fact that the mother completely ignored the request of the other parent. It’s inconsiderate and rude absolutely, hardly the end of the world, but it does say a lot about a person. Personally I would be a tad upset, but I simply would not leave my child there again. There is no reason to say anything, I just don’t do leave my child. If she asks, tell her the truth, but honestly life is too short for an argument over something so trivial. I don’t think it’s quite the same as a life threatening allergy, but if the woman is the type to think she knows best, what’s to say she wouldn’t ignore an allergy as well? The best way to deal with selfish inconsiderate people is to just not deal with them at all. A lesson can be learned however. Next time be better prepared. Although it would be nice if everyone cared about all children the way they do their own, unfortunately, that’s not the way we work, so if something means this much to you prepare for it.

As far as the diet issue is concerned, I have never heard a more ignorant bunch of people in my life. FIrst of all, we all raise our children to eat like we do. If we eat fast food and drink soda all day, chances are our kids do too. The difference is that some people care about their diet and what goes into their bodies and so that is reflected in their children too. I have never understood why so many people feed their children “kid foods” (chicken nuggets, mac n cheese etc.) If you start your children young eating healthy foods (and I am not going to go into the health benefits of plant foods, although it does seem like quite a bit of you could use that lesson), they will like healthy foods. As a parent you are in charge of helping your children form healthy habits, and while yes they will make their own choices someday, the earlier they start making good choices, the more likely they’ll stick with it.

As far as those who say things like “should vegetarians serve meat to those who eat it?” you are ridiculous. A person who chooses to eat meat does not ONLY eat meat. Meat is usually accompanied by other things, take away the meat and there are still options. I don’t believe in forcing my beliefs or choices on others, and I don’t know why what someone else eats is so offensive to some people. I don’t eat meat, but I would never dream of telling anyone else not to (beside my children, and yes I realize they are going to have to make their own choices someday). Eat meat if you want. If there are consequences, you will suffer them, not I. Maybe I’m missing out on something tasty. Either way, IT IS MY CHOICE to be a vegetarian, just as it is your choice to eat meat. I’m not going to lie, I personally think a vegetarian diet is better for me. Doesn’t everyone think their choices are the best ones? Otherwise why do we make them? The line is drawn when you believe your way is the only way to the point of pushing your views on others. Eat what you want, let me eat what I want, and let parents raise their children how they want.

Ashley February 13, 2010, 12:16 PM

For anyone that believes vegetarian kids are “unhealthy” or “malnourished” then you are simply IGNORANT! Most vegetarian kids are eating a healthy and balanced diet, free of junk food, fast food and preservatives. One of my concerns as a parent is that someone else will be feed my vegetarian child meat. Friends and family “joke” about feeding it to her all the time. People tell me that it’s not right for people, especially children to not eat meat, and they’re wrong. We have the support and guidance of our pediatrician whom has never said this diet is unhelthy or that our daughter is lacking any nutrients, she is very healthy with a strong immune system.
I could only imagine my reaction to another mother who fed my child meat knowing that they didn’t eat it, and it wouldn’t be pretty. I would never force anyone to be a vegetarian gainst their own will, if my children make the CHOICE to eat meat on their own that is up to them, but NOONE has the right to offer or force it upon them when they are indeed vegetarian.
The fact is so many people in this country are simply under educated. Our closest genetic relatives (the great apes) are mostly fruit eaters. Other “omnivores” as some here have mentioned the term, do include meat in their diet, but at around 1-3% of it. Most Americans get anywhere from 30-70% of their diet from animal protein sources. I have seem some people mention that the hot dog is “all american” Well FYI the hot dog isn’t even from America.
Vegetarians dont choose to not eat meat because they want to be “hip” or “hippys”- another very ignorant comment! There are a plethora of reasons that people throughout the worlds make this choice be it for health reasons, religious reasons, as a personal choice, to combat world hunger, to help protect the environment, to show respect for ALL living things and the list goes on. A good majority of the worlds vegetarians live in lesser developed countries (ie 3 world) and simply cant afford or dont have access to meat. Some of our greatest thinkers, artist and peace makers were vegetarian; Pythagoras, Leonardo da Vinci, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Leo Tolstoy, Ghandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and there are so many more!
Gina you have every right to be upset I think you have the support of all vegetariam moms out there, well at least mine.

Fashion Design October 12, 2010, 2:51 PM

I’m a visiting tutor at Goldsmiths University, London, and am around the editorial board of an online forum for market specialists.

Carolin Poulsen January 23, 2011, 9:46 PM

I’ve organized a lot of exhibitions on the Fashion Institute of Technology in my previous years and am at the moment operating over a forum for the sector.

Back to top >>