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Obama Victory Celebration Squashed By Bigotry

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One mom's story about how her celebration was bittersweet.

woman surrounded by hate

Momlogic's Annie: We will all remember exactly where we were when we found out that Barack Obama had won the presidential election. Whether or not you voted for him, when he walked up on that stage in Chicago's Grant Park, the American Dream was alive and well. For the first time ever, kids can actually believe it when they're told they have the chance to be President one day. Well -- maybe. What if you are a kid who grows up to be gay? If you can't even get married or be a parent how can you be president?

I was with my 14-month-old daughter when the voting results were announced. I cannot count how many times I kissed her. I told her over and over again how lucky she is to live in a time that this is possible -- that her future looks bright, that maybe now I'll consider making her a sibling. I went to bed proud to be an American, excited to wake up to news about the world's reaction to what our great country had overcome and accomplished. I told my husband that for the first time in eight years, I don't want to move.

Then I woke up. And here in California, Proposition 8, a law that bans gay marriage had passed. In Arkansas a ban on gay adoption passed. So, essentially people outlawed love. It was like being punched in the stomach. How is this possible? How could so many smart and wonderful people be so bigoted and ignorant? Maybe they aren't so smart and wonderful.

I'm furious that because these people are being hateful, I'm now compelled to hate them. I'm furious that my celebration was cut short. When I see people on the news rejoicing about how far we've come, I'm flabbergasted. There is a whole group of people whose CIVIL RIGHTS are being taken away! I get it -- one step at a time -- but still there is something tragic going on and it's called bigotry and no one is saying it out loud.

I do understand that for many people this is their religious issue -- I think it's absurd, but I'm trying. Isn't there slavery in the Bible too? Or is that just how I'm interpreting it. "Interpretation" -- what a concept. And besides, isn't it stated in our Constitution that we practice a separation of church and state?

I have faith that people will wake up. I am hoping for my daughter's sake and for all of our children's sake that we will have cause to celebrate again soon WITHOUT being interrupted.

next: This Mall is Bigger Than a Small City!
86 comments so far | Post a comment now
Cynthia Powell, Chicks & Cubs November 6, 2008, 8:07 AM

You might want to check on the exit poll data in CA. I heard on the radio yesterday that 70% of Blacks in CA voted FOR the ban and 40% of Whites.

So the LARGE turnout of the BLACK vote gave you the BAN on gay marriage!

So put the BLAME where it belongs - not on the “right”. If the “right” had been in control then Obama wouldn’t have been elected.

Sheila Allen November 6, 2008, 8:45 AM

I am a Black woman who supports the rights of all individuals to love and marry whoever they want. But, traditionally that is not true of most blacks and that stems back to the teaching they receive from the pulpit of black churches across America. Most blacks are told that to be gay is a sin against God and therefore many do not believe that that lifestyle is ok. Plus depending on the wording of the amendment on the ballot many did not really know what they were voting for or against…sad but true. I am sure if through research is done in the states where these amendments were passes you will find that this was true. A group that has been discriminated all of their lives I do not believe even viewed their actions as being discriminatory.

Anonymous November 6, 2008, 9:00 AM

If people are taught that this is wrong in their religion, why do they feel the need to stop other people who believe differently? The country was built on religious diversity.

Kate November 6, 2008, 9:56 AM

You said, “So, essentially people outlawed love.” That’s not what happened. No one told gay people in California that they cannot love each other. Let’s just be honest here: gay people don’t want to get married because they love each other. They want to get married because it is convenient for them in terms of tax breaks and health benefits - loving each other is just a bonus. Don’t try to make this about love because that’s not what it’s about. Love has never and can never be outlawed.

irvin November 6, 2008, 10:10 AM

I think its interesting how you talk about how slavery is in the bible, but nowhere in the bible does it say that the Lord condoned it, he freed his people, but when you talk homosexuality there is no place in the bible that states its ok or that the Lord changed his mind and thought it was right.
So don’t take away the fact the we are in a time that shows how far America has come from where it once stood.
I’m a Hispanic and i look at the world a little different and maybe it would come day that those things that you complain about will come to pass, but to say that love was basically banned is a crock of crap and you really know it too.
Celebrate the moment for what it is now, and don’t look at the small things when all eyes are now on America with the hopes for change and what Obama now has to endure on his long road, that’s what i think you should be writing about.

Charles November 6, 2008, 10:24 AM

That’s what democracy and voting is all about. The choice of THE PEOPLE, not the arrogant elitists who think they know better than everyone else.

You may not agree, but you always have the option to change the law, or move to a state or country that sees things your way.

Anonymous November 6, 2008, 11:17 AM

What’s one reason why gay men and women should not be allowed to marry. Please be cognizant of the fact, when giving your answers, that in our country there is a separation of church and state as per the Constitution. So a “God doesn’t think it’s right” answer won’t fly. I need a single, logical answer. Also, please be specific. “Protecting Marriage” is not a viable answer either as giving gay men and women the right to vote doesn’t put automatic weapons at their disposal, a militia at their command and an edict to eradicate all straights.

Jeremy November 6, 2008, 11:41 AM

Yes, “Exit Polls” showed that 70% of the black community voted for Prop 8.

But, Cynthia, how DARE you say “So the LARGE turnout of the BLACK vote gave you the BAN on gay marriage!”

That is so simplistic and UNEDUCATED!

At last night’s rally in West Hollywood, one speaker told a story of how at one polling place, he witnessed one supposedly straight black woman approach a black lesbian and say, “you’re kind isn’t wanted around here.”

That is HATE — that is not what Obama’s victory was all about.

The truth is, the LGBT community remains the one community of any people in this country that it is still OK to HATE against — and HATE, in all forms, is wrong.

The LBGT community IS the black community — and the white community, and every religious group and age and race.

Stop making excuses, and start thinking about SOLUTIONS to END HATE & PREJUDICE!

We need unity, not division, right now.

So, if you believe in Obama’s platform, get with it …. and stop blaming any group except the MORMON CHURCH (not Mormons — there’s a difference between individual people… and the institution!), which lead this campaign of HATE.

Jackie November 6, 2008, 12:04 PM

This message is to Irvin. You’re a crock of crap. Being Hispanic, as I proudly am, means that you would understand how being discriminated against feels. It is only logical to support those being treated as second class citizens. Gay rights coincide with civil rights. No one should be treated as a second class citizen. I suggest we all take a step back and envision what the future would be like for our children if we continue on the path that Proposition 8 supports.

“I’m a Hispanic and i look at the world a little different and maybe it would come day that those things that you complain about will come to pass, but to say that love was basically banned is a crock of crap and you really know it too.”

Mary November 6, 2008, 12:47 PM

Kate - i can’t believe you said that! so is that the only reason you wanted to get married? my guess is probably not. when people love eachother (regardless of gender) they want to get married. that’s what people in love do! i know i didn’t get maried for the tax breaks and insurance coverage.

Richard Solomon November 6, 2008, 1:08 PM

For those of you who were left feeling discouraged about the result of Proposition 8, please consider signing and forwarding this petition to encourage California legislators to re-open and re-consider the outcome.

Steph November 6, 2008, 1:22 PM

I am very happy to know that there are people out there that utilize their freedom of speech like the author of this article. However, I do not agree that Prop 8 debate squashed the feelings of victory and change with having Obama as our new president elect. In retrospect, I was also very upset that Prop 8 was passed…as were my friends and family. I have a 11 month old son…and I want him to be for HUMAN rights….standing up in rallies of all kinds like we have in anti-war, equality for Mexican-Americans, equality for the LGBT population…etc. Basically, standing up for RIGHT when he sees wrong. And encouraging the hate against gays by passing this WRONG. They deserve respect and the equality that we all want. I also had to commend “Jeremy” for his strong words and stand for the LGBT community.

Alison November 6, 2008, 2:20 PM

Banning prop 8 doesn’t take away anyones rights. They can ‘choose’ to marry. Why do they need additional rights? And by the way, our founders didn’t exclude God…the same God that consumed Sodom with fire.
Thank goodness for the black community in California! Isn’t it funny that unless you think exactly the same as those on the left you are ignorant…What an accepting group of people!

Micki  November 6, 2008, 2:28 PM

You make a good point about gays wanting marriage because of certain rights and that this not about love, but it is about love. It’s about the right to love another adult with the benefit of marriage. It’s about the right to love who we CHOOSE and to have the law validate that is paramount. This isn’t something petty. This about civil rights. Remember, when it wasn’t right for interracial marriage. Was that about love or was that about civil rights?

Suzanne from Michigan November 6, 2008, 2:36 PM

There will be a time when the marriage I obtained in Canada to my wife 4 years ago will be legal and recognized. I believe it will happen. The rights that I had when I was married to a man, who I was not in love with, are the same rights I have to fight for now that I found someone I truly Love. It IS absurd. I agree with you church and state should not be mixed,but nobody talks about that either. We are silently discrimnated against by the same who have been discriminated against for years. It’s the bully syndrome, the dog pack syndrome. Whoever is the smallest or the quietest gets picked on the most until one of them loses their minds and gets so angry that they have tears of anger and snotty noses and red faces! Then, and only then, do the bully’s finally hear them.. We need to get mad! we need to get ANGRY and we need to stop being POLITE about it. THEN we will get our rights!!! Until then, people like me, the lesbian moms raising kids, and making a difference in the world will be treated unfairly. Thank you for your comment and for your love. Thank you!

nicole November 6, 2008, 3:31 PM

I just can’t understand people, and it makes me so furious to read all of these comments! Here is the bottom line - why should ANY law take away a right from someone when it doesn’t affect anyone but them?!?!!? WHY DOES IT MATTER TO ME IF TWO WOMEN OR TWO MEN ARE MARRIED?!?!?! It will not make my marriage stronger, it won’t change the divorce my sister is going through, and it won’t change the mind of the cheating husband or wife that no one wants to talk about. I could be wrong, since it’s been awhile since I’ve read the constitution, but I’m pretty certain there’s nothing that reads, “I shall take away someone else’s happiness based on my beliefs”. There are so many other things going wrong with our world and society, why are we so afraid of the word or act of “GAY”. GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!!! I’m not gay, and really can’t imagine ever having that desire, but it does not make me better than anyone else. As far as the Arkansas law goes, that’s just disgusting. There are millions of children that don’t have homes, yet being without must certainly be better than living with homosexual parents, right?! However I challenge you to consider this….a single Mom just can’t make it in the Arkansas economy so she’s forced to move her and her child into a home with her best friend (who in this story will also be female). Should this be illegal, as the child is now under the same roof as two women? OH I’LL SAVE YOU THE STUPID REMARKS - There’s a difference, they aren’t sleeping together, they bring men home for the child to see…blah blah blah. As any female will now, at some point in your life you have had a female friend that you were so close to, you might as well have been married (minus the sexual stuff). I agree with the writer of this article - I felt the same sense of disappointment. Just when it looks like this country is coming together and taking a step forward, we just gave that all away to take a giant leap back. Though I do not agree, I can understand the desire to change gun laws as this is something that could potentially harm or affect another person’s life. But once again I ask, who am I to take away the happiness of someone who is wishing to live their life just like me. This bias makes me sick. And for all you black people that voted against prop 8, I hope you’re proud of yourself. Don’t you ever complain about the “white man” ever again, because you are no better than that “man” you resent. I’m not trying to sound harsh or racist, but it’s the truth.

Stacey November 6, 2008, 3:55 PM

As a Californian, I also find it shocking that we woudl protect the rights of chickens over but not the rights of people…the prop on “room for chickens to flap their wings passed as did a ban on gay marriage. I don’t understand it.

I agree with other posters - what ever happened to the separation of chucrch & state?

Anonymous November 6, 2008, 4:42 PM

I still find it funny that people think separation between church and state is in the constitution. It is not, it is in the federalist papers, so much for public education.

Uncle Stuart November 6, 2008, 4:50 PM

I am commenting openly as I think that is the spirit of this particular conversation. It is important that I reveal to you that I am Annie Krasnow’s Uncle. I am also openly gay. Annie did not talk to me about her post and I had no idea what she was going to write. That being said, I think she is one hundred percent right. Even if those of you who voted yes say you were not voting “against love”. Many many people were doing just that. Back in 1967, the supreme court sided with an inter-racial couple who were arrested in Virginia for being married. See, not so long ago , most states made marriage between races illegal. And Virginia arrested an inter-racial couple that married legally but than crossed state lines where their marriage was not recognized or legal. Can you imagine how scary that is for a gay person today to think they could be put in jail for being legally married in one state and crossing into another? Do you think that the people who supported those laws before 1967 were just trying to keep certain tax breaks away from mixed race marriages? or do you think that they believed that there was something fundamentally wrong with a white person LOVING a black person? And they used interpretations from the Bible to support those notions. A book that is so filled with love and acceptance , I wonder if we are all reading the same book sometimes. No one knows why someone votes one way or another , but I don’t think the Mormon church spent 20 million dollars and had volunteers in Utah calling California voters 24/7 because they didn’t think Gay people should get the tax breaks that marriage provide. They don’t think that it is right for men to love men or women to love women. Oh and about those tax breaks and such, Britany Spears got drunk and married a childhood friend for twelve hours in las vegas. For those 12 hours she enjoyed over one thousand rights that I am not allowed to share with my partner. Is it bigotry. you bet. is it hatred. you bet. Are we as Americans better than this, you bet. Obama did give birth to a new era, all I ask is don’t leave us out of the dream.

annie 2 November 6, 2008, 10:42 PM

don’t give up hope! As we’ve just witnessed, time and urgency for change will create change. My city is lead by a gay man who also had an openly public, loving relationship with a local tv personality, and it was totally accepted and acceptable. The same dream that was had by MLK can be had again, and realized again. That is because first in our hearts then our minds, then our laws, love conquers all. There are so many gross hypocrisies in the denial of gay rights. We could focus on those and remain angry, or press forward to create change. God bless this cause, as he/she/it undoubtedly does.

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