I went to a birthday party where Belle looked more like the Beast.
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Momlogic's Momstrosity: Should a kid's birthday party be creepy and sad? I was at one last week with my three-and-a-half-year-old for a little girl in her preschool class. The party had a Belle theme and of course, like all birthday parties I seem to go to lately, Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Tiara or Ariel make an appearance. But what I learned that fateful Saturday is not all princesses are cut from the same royal cloth.

First of all, Belle was late. I mean really late. My guess is she had lost track of time dumpster diving because that's where it looked like she found her dress. Her Belle frock was dirty, ill-fitting and worn. So was her makeup. Sadly, she seemed like she was impersonating the lesser known Disney princess, "Harlot."

I truly felt sorry for this woman, who looked to be pushing 40. 
After all, performing for a gaggle of toddlers is hard work. No joke. But it did
seem like entertaining at children's parties was her plan B.

When she finally did sit down on her throne / folding chair she suddenly realized she forgot her puppets and ran hurriedly back into the street to what she called her "carriage" (in reality a beat-up Honda Civic). The kids waited patiently for her return.

When her promised puppet show began, she pulled out one tattered puppet after another and seemed to be going though the motions of her performance as if she was more focused on trying to figure out if there was a neighborhood bar she could hit after the party. At one point I swear she almost looked like she forgot where she was.

Regardless, the kids enjoyed themselves so honestly it really didn't matter. And she did manage to engage the tots in a game of Duck Duck Goose. They couldn't really make a distinction between a "real" princess and one that had some hard miles on her.
Or maybe not. Driving home I asked my daughter if she enjoyed seeing Belle in person. "Her dress kept falling off, mama," she responded, a bit perplexed.

One mom I spoke to about my party experience told me she's seen bad kid party performers before. Once, she told me, she hired a Cinderella for her little girl's bash. "She used magic markers for face-painting and could only make one kind of balloon animal: a snake. She just blew up the balloons and handed them to the kids. I was horrified. It wasn't what I had in mind."

I'm quite sure the mom who hired the Belle didn't expect the one she got either. My daughter's third birthday is coming up and she's already requested a princess at her party. I hope I get a good one. Or maybe, just maybe, my daughter will be over princesses by then?

Do you have a kid party performer horror story?