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TMI: Keep Your Sex Life to Yourself

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No, I don't need to know how many orgasms you had last night. Really.

two women talking

So I was out with a few of the neighborhood moms the other night when one of them decided to share with us her latest sexual escapades. Now I don't know about you, but hearing the gory details of someone else's sex life makes me break out in hives, especially when you have to look her husband in the eye at the next PTO fundraiser.

Note to all the moms out there: We're not in high school anymore. It's not really cool to brag about your latest sexual conquest, what crazy position you discovered or how many times a week you go at it anymore. Even back in high school I never liked people who let the whole world in on their sexual secrets, but hey -- that's just me. I didn't like it then, and I certainly don't like it now.

Here's the deal ... we're not kids anymore and the guy you banged doggy style in the living room last night isn't the quarterback of the football team, he's my kid's soccer coach. Now while I don't want to picture you doing all those dirty things you for some reason like to brag about -- I certainly don't want to think about my kid's coach doing them either. Seriously, I'll never be able to look at him screaming -- "nail it in the goal" in quite the same way again. You're messing with my Saturday morning soccer mom mojo here.

Oh, and another thing, I could do without the reports on each and every counter top, cabinet, appliance and piece of furniture you've christened during your sexual reawakening (or is this your midlife sexual crisis?) Whatever the story, how do you expect me to help myself to the sushi platter you so painstakingly placed on the dining room table, knowing this is the same table you had "three mind-blowing orgasms on" last week. Really, it's enough to make me lose my appetite -- as well as your telephone number.

So please, for the sake of my sanity, and because I really don't have the time or energy to compare my sex life to yours -- please, please please -- keep your sex life to yourself.

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11 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous November 1, 2008, 10:02 AM

I definitely agree with this. My hubbby and I keep our sex life between us and I would love for everyone else to do the same. I don’t want the mental image!

Anonymous November 1, 2008, 10:18 AM

Ya, we’re pretty private about our sex life. I guess I never understood all of these shows where the girls all get together to ‘lunch’ and discuss every part of their sex lives.

patty November 1, 2008, 3:24 PM

it’s gross and I always feel like the person who is bragging is lying or trying to make me feel inferior. Yes, please do keep the details to yourself!

Anonymous November 1, 2008, 7:56 PM

I had a co-worker who would tell me details about her sex life even though I told her I didn’t want to hear them. One time when she told that she had to masturbate because she wasn’t getting any because she had no man in her life at that time. Too much information.

Shawna November 1, 2008, 8:11 PM

That’s just awful!!! Way too much info for my liking as well!! But why is it ok for guys to talk this way?? Guys think this talk is sooo cool and us women think its awful!! Why is that???

Sensuous Wife November 2, 2008, 10:13 AM

Balance is so important here. Perhaps culture plays a role. I live in the South and when the topic of sex comes up in conversation in a group of women, it’s almost always in a negative light, as in “Men only want ONE thing and my Harrison is no different” followed by wordless sounds of disgust as other women chime in. As a young bride this really affected me because it reinforced the myth that good girls don’t. These were women I grew up with and respected. I felt that if I enjoyed sex with my husband and ever let on that I did, that I’d be subjected to the same scorn.

Now certainly, I don’t advocate sharing steamy play by play. Anytime I mention our intimate life on my blog, each post is preapproved by Delighted Husband to make sure he doesn’t feel they are invasive of our privacy.

We can use our words to affirm or tear down and the topic of marital sex is no exception.

fc November 6, 2008, 11:23 PM

I agree people need to keep their sex lives to themselves. when people are having sex it should be something that is kept private between the people whom they are having sex with.

Vanessa November 10, 2008, 6:26 PM

I don’t think you should be sharing your sex life with all of your coworkers or casual acquaintances, but sometimes it can be helpful and relieving to talk about sex with a close friend. We shouldn’t feel that we are being “bad” by talking about sex, whether we are asking for advice or just saying “I’m so glad my husband and I connect in bed!” Of course, you should make sure the people you share with are comfortable with the subject, but I think that as a society we need to relax a little about sex. It’s natural!

maria November 27, 2008, 6:57 AM

One rule you never tell another women or guy about what you do with your hubby or wife in bed, they might want to try with him or her, because they are not happy with theirs

HMM September 11, 2009, 7:54 AM

I think part of our problem in our society today is a lack of reverence for the act of making love. To many make it a game, a joke or a “buzz”. My mom taught me, and I teach my kids, that it is an extremely personal, precious, joyous thing that two people who love and trust each other can share. It is definitely a private thing and if someone feels like they need to make it public then they trivialize it and are missing out on a deep, almost spiritual aspect. I feel sorry for them.

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