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10 Gifts Not to Give Your Single, Childless Friend

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Editor's note: The Childless Bitch is back and nastier than ever. We can't decide whether to respond by slapping her around a little or sending her all of the handmade holiday crafts our kids tote home from school. You decide...

  1. Anything in a tin. This includes your holiday fudge and 'family' Chex Mix recipe.
  2. Another set of lotions, bath salts or candles. I know this is shocking to you, but I don't spend my nights taking bubble baths and listening to Michael Buble.
  3. Flannel anything. I don't care if it's cold in winter.
  4. Avon, Tupperware or anything else purchased at one of your "Child-Free Fun Time Nights."
  5. A purse you would carry.
  6. Any item from your kid's school's fundraising catalog. A good rule of thumb: If you gave the gift to your daughter's teacher, do not give it to me.
  7. Something dried - scratch that - anything from the community holiday craft fair. Just because a scarf is homemade does not make it cool.
  8. Jewelry on cardboard.
  9. Perfume found at Sears.
  10. A photo album or picture frame of your family -- I don't care how expensive the frame is!

Remember, it's the thought that counts!

next: Prepare Your Pooch for the Holidays
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
Trina December 18, 2008, 8:41 AM

just be grateful that there is SOMEONE who would buy YOU something! such a bad and ungrateful attitude. glad i don’t have friends like you.

redmum December 18, 2008, 8:44 AM

Bah Humbug, I think I have some child hand prints framed which will be perfect for you.

I can’t imagine it being a pleasure to either buy/give you a present.

You should check out the saying ‘don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’ - lol at ‘its the thought that counts’, cos you wouldn’t know it in your post.

N December 18, 2008, 8:52 AM

Oh get over it people, i think its hilarious, you wouldn’t want at least half those gifts either, admit it!

Suzanne Eller December 18, 2008, 9:59 AM

Maybe a heaping dish of humble pie? : )

Lovey's Mom December 18, 2008, 10:01 AM

I have a kid and I wouldn’t want any of that crap either!

gemma December 18, 2008, 3:05 PM

i definately wouldn’t want all the lotions etc, get them every year and with 2 tiny tots its hard enough to find the time to brush my teeth let alone have a nice relaxing bubble bath

TJ December 18, 2008, 3:37 PM

And this is exactly why all of my friends (childless or with children) are getting donations made in their names to the charity of their choice - and they get the tax receipt, too, if they want to claim it. Sure, I can see how people find this gift self-righteous and preachy but everything has problems: gifts people don’t like are regifted, gift cards are thoughtless and put a price on the relationship, and you don’t want to leave people out — so donations are the way to go.

Manda December 18, 2008, 5:05 PM

Totally agree with TJ. If you are not close to the person and don’t know of something they specifically want, don’t waste your money on useless gifts. Give to their favorite Charity. It helps the needy, and is a nice gift especially if you cannot afford to donate this year since you just spent a fortune buying people crap they don’t want or need.

ashley December 19, 2008, 7:38 AM

I just feel for her kids if she ever has any. Maybe she’ll change her tune when her child brings home his first little ornament with his little picture in it.

geen December 19, 2008, 1:59 PM

Um, I am a mom and I would not want any of this crap either. Gift cards please.

San Clemente Girl January 10, 2009, 12:23 PM

I just stumbled across this blog, and it is fricken hysterical.

Rita October 13, 2009, 6:28 PM

Yeah, I’m a mom of 2 and I wouldn’t want anything like that either, unless it was from my own kids or my bff’s kids. Gift cards, please. I wouldn’t give anything like those gifts mentioned above to a co-worker or an acquaintance, unless they specifically requested it. Child-made gifts are fine for close friends and family.

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