This mom thought she was taking an innocent stand against her husband's laziness, but she ended up being punished.
Momlogic's Maria: I've found that here are many things in a marriage that the woman is traditionally expected to do -- remembering family members' birthdays, buying baby gifts when there's a new arrival, asking what to bring to a dinner party and buying new underwear for their husband. I imagine because I am a woman, I find most of these tasks to be fun. But some responsibilities -- the sucky ones -- I stand strong and refuse to take sole responsibility for, like writing Thank You notes, doing dishes and changing dirty diapers. People sometimes look at me funny and I usually don't care. But recently, my proud stance embarrassed me.
When my husband, daughter and I go to visit my in-laws, we stay in their home. We grew up in that town so I love to visit with old friends, go to my old haunts and spend time with my wonderful in-laws. My husband loves it too, but for different reasons. He basically walks in the door and becomes 12 years old again. He watches TV, wrestles with his brother (who is also an adult) and takes for granted every glass of fresh orange juice his mother squeezes for him. He also waits for everyone to clean up after him.
After the third day of our last visit, I got tired of doing his laundry, emptying the trash cans and bringing his dirty drink glasses out of our room. What was more tiring was asking him to help me do these things, so I stopped. I decided that I would adopt his carefree mentality and enjoy life at "Mom and Dad's." I sat back and let my mother-in-law dress my kid. When she asked me if I wanted something to drink, I told her! I texted my friends while she made dinner. I left all of the dirty laundry on the floor. It was so liberating!
I was enjoying the fresh squeezed fruits of my decision and alerted her my friends were coming over for a visit. She -- for the first time in our relationship -- gave me a disappointed look and said, "I thought this afternoon you could clean up instead." Bright red is an understatement when describing the color my face turned. I thought about asking her if she'd made this same suggestion to her son, but I refrained. I wasn't about to put this nice woman in the middle of my marriage issues. I felt SO STUPID. My little lazy stand-off with my husband ended up making me look like an ass.
I ran straight to my husband and told him how humiliated I felt. He told said, "OK. I'll be right there -- once this game is over." I was fuming, but weakened by embarrassment. I ran right up the stairs and straightened that room right up. I apologized to my mother-in-law profusely. Then, I asked her for the addresses of her friends who sent our daughter gifts so I could send them Thank You notes. Sometimes you've got to know when to fold 'em.