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Finally, a Truthful Christmas "Brag Letter"

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The "brag letter" has become the standard during the holidays. How about one that tells the truth?

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow, what a year.

christmas family

In the last months our family has been closer than ever, mostly because Tom and I both got laid off from our jobs and defaulted on our mortgage. Our new one-bedroom apartment is "cozy" for the six of us.

Tom had a brief "transgression" last February and had an affair with a co-worker -- and I became addicted to a cocktail of Ambien, White Zin and NyQuil. But that's all behind us now and we couldn't be happier -- at least that's what our therapist tries to tell us.

Little baby Susan is just starting to crawl. It's such a joy to see how much she's growing and learning every day. Last week she learned that she can pull herself up the T.V. stand, pull it down and destroy a flatscreen. Luckily no one was hurt.

twins_xmas.jpg

The twins are doing great. They both turned four this year. Johnny, the social one, got in a "spirited" argument over ownership of a toy truck with a little fella at the park and split the boy's lip with an Incredible Hulk doll. The family's lawyer seems very nice. Tommy, the sickly one, has been recovering nicely after a bout of the stomach flu, lice, croup and pink-eye. This year we had to forego the Christmas tree because, apparently, Tommy is allergic to pine and polyethylene.

pregteen.jpg

As you might know by now, little Christy isn't so little anymore -- she's eight months pregnant which is going to make planning her upcoming Sweet Sixteen party a bit tricky. We believe we might be getting closer to figuring out who the father is with a D.N.A. kit we bought at Rite Aid.

That's it for now. Next year will be even better!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,

The Mulligans
Tom, Cindy, Christy, Johnny, Tommy and Susan.


next: It's Not Too Late for Quick Cheap Gifts
4 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous December 22, 2008, 6:39 PM

Haha…funny as hell

Kirstie December 22, 2008, 6:54 PM

This was made a million times funnier by the fact that my firend, aged 19, just had a baby … and her last name is Mulligan.

Anonymous December 22, 2008, 7:28 PM

OMG that is hilarious. Love it!

fast payday loan August 14, 2009, 5:56 AM

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