Momlogic's Momstrosity: The "brag letter" has become the standard during the holidays. How about one that tells the truth?

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow, what a year.

In the last months our family has been closer than ever, mostly because Tom and I both got laid off from our jobs in August and defaulted on our mortgage. Our new one-bedroom apartment is "cozy" for the six of us.

Tom had a brief "transgression" last February and had an affair with a co-worker -- and I became addicted to a cocktail of Ambien, White Zin and NyQuil. But we've managed to work through our differences. Now, sometimes, when Tom isn't surfing for porn on the Internet we had some wonderful moments together.

Little baby Susan is just starting to crawl. It's such a joy to see how much she's growing and learning every day. Last week she learned that she can pull herself up the T.V. stand, pull it down and destroy a flatscreen.

The twins are doing great. They both turned four this year. Johnny, the "social one", got in a "spirited" argument over ownership of a toy truck with a little fella at the park and split the boy's lip with an Incredible Hulk doll. The family's lawyer seems very nice. Tommy, the "sickly one", has been recovering nicely after a bout of the stomach flu, swine flu, lice, croup and pink-eye. This year we had to forego the Christmas tree because, apparently, Tommy is allergic to pine and polyethylene.

As you might know by now, little Christy isn't so little anymore -- she's eight months pregnant which is going to make planning her upcoming Sweet Sixteen party a bit tricky. We believe we might be getting closer to figuring out who the father is with a D.N.A. kit we bought at Rite Aid.

That's it for now. Next year will be even better!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,

The Mulligans
Tom, Cindy, Christy, Johnny, Tommy and Susan.