Here's another installment of the Friendship Court.
Rose from Pennsylvania writes:Sarah and I have been friends for seven years. We met when our toddlers were in a playgroup. Recently we had her family to our home for dinner, and our boys had a fight. When her son told her his version of the events, Sarah started yelling at my son and said, "You have always been mean and manipulative." I pulled my son away and said nothing that night, but I have not spoken to Sarah since. I cannot seem to recover from this ... and she has not called me either. Is this friendship over?
Guest blogger Leslie Adler: Hi Rose and thanks for writing to "The Friendship Court." I have to say ... this friendship may be over, because after reading your question I am wondering why Sarah has not called to apologize. If this was just heat of the moment "mother bear" type behavior and your friendship means more to Sarah than a tiff between two boys (which by the way, the boys don't even remember at this point) Sarah could have just explained that she got defensive and did not mean what she said. But some people Rose, can't make the tough call to apologize, so "be the adult." Call Sarah and open the lines of communication. Say, honestly, that you have no idea where this call is going but you needed to make it ... either for closure or to clear the air. Ask her "Why did you say that?," and more than my answer, her answer to that question will give you the tools to determine whether the friendship is over. If it goes well, this will help lay ground rules for the future of your relationship like, we really need to respect each other's abilities to discipline our children and we need to work on our friendship transcending the evolving relationships of our children.
Happy holidays Rose!