Help Me Pick My Kid's Religion

Help Me Pick My Kid's Religion

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

filed under: family

The holidays are right around the corner -- which one's best for my child?

Momlogic's Andrea: I'm in BIG trouble. Thanksgiving is over and Christmas and Hanukkah are just weeks away. And no, I'm not stressing because I haven't bought my holiday cards or started my shopping. I'm freaking because I haven't picked my daughter's religion. Since my husband and I are both agnostic, we know it's only a matter of time before we either have to go back to our religious roots (I was raised Jewish and he was raised Catholic) or start explaining to our three-year-old we don't believe in God.

Time's running out. She's starting to catch on to the whole Christmas thing. She bumped into Mr. Claus at the mall yesterday and called him by his first name.

Why would we be considering a religion for our child if we ourselves don't believe in one? We don't want to impose our religious -- er, non-religious beliefs on our child. My husband and I both came to our own conclusions at an early age. Shouldn't we give her the chance to at least reject religion just like mom and dad? We don't want to be a hypocritical and teach her things we don't believe in -- but at the same time we want to give her a chance to join in on at least some form of holiday celebration. But if we let her sit on Santa's lap are we indirectly embracing Christianity? Then why not just dabble in a bunch of different religions? I hear Islam, Buddhism and Sikhism are popular ones. Maybe we should give those a shot.

The truth is my husband and I believe there are valuable aspects to almost all religions, we just don't buy into one -- but for our daughter's sake is it time for us to find God ... any God, quick?

27 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

Wow- can’t wait or me and my hubby’s kids to be born. I’m an Electic Wiccan and he’s Apostolic. Trying to explain why Daddy worships a God and Mommy Worships a God and Goddess is going to be fun. I agree with many other poster. Let your child experince all diffrent religons. Just don’t go into the crazier ones. While some cults are harmless, some just go aginst every human norm out there.

- Ash

Posted 03/31/09 05:28 AM

I think you’re really brave to write this article, and it speaks to what’s happening in our society. At the end of the day, there is no ‘best’ religion and your kids will benefit from your concern and caring for their spiritual well-being and about “doing the ‘right’ thing.” Good luck and just know your kids will turn out fine no matter what religion you choose as long as your good intentions are there.

- Anonymous

Posted 04/25/09 07:55 AM

My sister is Christian by faith, but she has never really attended church except when her extended in-laws go for a Christmas or Easter service. My brother in law does not believe in God, and that is his business, but one day he started expressing his non-belief in a sort of scary way in front of the kids. He said there was not God, but that the earth was destinted for a future hell like state on earth. Usually I do not impose my views on my sister, but I asked her what she thought about him telling their kids that sort of dismal message. I know many atheists who are positive people, but unfortunately my brother in law is not one. My sister decided to let her kids go to youth group with their neighbors so they can make up their mind about religion for themselves. I like how you are doing the same thing for your daughter. I respect people who allow their kids to decide rather than just telling them what to believe.

- Bearie

Posted 06/05/09 10:42 PM

Can’t anyone else tell that this is a bit of a joke? I just like that everyone responded so seriously to a clearly satirical question…

- AMac

Posted 11/19/09 11:45 PM

If I was making that decision, I’d be totally transparent to my child and always be open to objective, open, and rational discussions about the topic. I certainly wouldn’t lie to them. The benefits the child would get from this far out-weigh the negatives they might get from any non-paricipation… …right?

- Reuben

Posted 11/19/09 11:58 PM

Why do you have to have a religious faith to celebrate christmas? It is common knowledge that Jesus was not in fact born on December 25th and Christmas is the remnants of an old european pagan holiday. The modern day christmas is just an excuse to buy friends and family presents and spend quality time together.

- Anonymous

Posted 11/20/09 12:05 AM

Reading your column was like looking inside my head a year ago! My daughter was getting old enough to be cognisant of the world around her, neither my husband nor I really liked the idea of religion, but we wanted to at least give her a basic understanding so that she could make an educated choice for herself when the time came. We toyed with the idea of taking her to all different churches, but decided we’d wait to do that until she’s older since it would be too confusing for a toddler. We visited lots of places, found a church where we were comfortable (even if we’re not 100% there ourselves with all of the beliefs…and honestly few people truly are) and when our daughter is older we’ll make sure to take her to temples, mosques, synagogues etc. so that she can make a decision for herself.

- Sara

Posted 11/20/09 05:33 AM

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