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My Husband And I Have Gone to the Dogs

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I'm ashamed to say it but my husband and I have turned into D-O-G-S! I mean, we don't look like them (yet) but we sure do act like them.

husband and wife dogs

Momlogic's Jayne: Just the other night I was sitting outside in my backyard enjoying a (big) glass of wine and sneaking a cigarette (sshhh!).

As I sat quietly enjoying the evening, I watched my two Golden Retrievers, Fred, 4, and Daisy, nearly 2, playing or fighting or wrestling or whatever the hell it is they do when one has the other's head in a death grip.

Suddenly, I was reminded of me and my husband. Fred and Daisy's relationship was a lot like ours -- some of it was good, and some of it not so good, but no matter what, they always seem to work it out.

Here are some of the ways in which my dogs mirror my hubby and me.

DOGS: Fred often has to wear a cone on his head (due to serious allergies and possible neurosis). This leaves my poor red dog with little to no peripheral vision and limited hearing due to his ears being stuffed inside a plastic cone.

US: My husband Nick is also blind and deaf to many of the things that go on around him. He often doesn't see the clothes that need to be washed and seldom is able to hear me when I ask him to do something. See, we're just the same.

DOGS: Daisy is downright annoying. At times she wants to "play" with Fred WHILE he is asleep. Instead of taking note that he is asleep or resting, she sticks her pretty little head inside his cone and bites his head. Now, I'm not talking about a teeny tiny love nip, NO, she opens her jaws as wide as she can and clamps them firmly around Fred's skull. OW!

US: While I don't bite my husband's head (often) I have been known to wake my husband out of a dead sleep by walking into a room and saying, "Hey there, what's going on?" Now I know full well what's going on -- he's sleeping -- but I'm over all that "rest" and I need his attention right then. Just like Daisy, I will do what I have to do to get it. See, we're just the same.

DOGS: Fred will often jump on top of Daisy (cone and all) and start humping her for no reason. I can only imagine that he's merely trying to dominate her very dominant personality, but she gets mad and bites him -- in the head.

US: My husband will often try and "hump" me for no reason -- and I get mad. Instead of biting his head, I say, "What the F are you doing?" I am equally as indignant as Daisy -- just a little less violent. See, we're just the same.

DOGS: Daisy will eat absolutely anything -- including my thong underwear. There has been many a morning when I've found my entire chewed up thong embedded in Daisy's poop. Fred, on the other hand, CAN'T eat anything -- he is on a VERY expensive raw food diet (no, he's not a god d*mned celebrity) to help stop him itching so much. We have no idea if it works because he always has that stupid cone on -- but we figure it could be worse if we stopped.

US: I, like Daisy, given my druthers, would eat anything -- and to be honest I currently DRINK anything (alcoholic). And, just like Daisy, sometimes it comes out in the morning, only with me it's from the other end. My husband, on the other hand, can't eat anything -- he's always eating a special diet that costs us a fortune. See, we're just alike.

DOGS: All day long they fight, play, bark, growl at each other, and occasionally squeal in pain. But at the end of the day, they always curl up together and start the next day anew.

US: All day long we fight, play, bark, growl at each other, and occasionally squeal in pain. But at the end of the day, we always curl up together and start the next day anew.


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