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My Husband Shaved His F*&^ing Head

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One mom is less than thrilled about her hubby's new haircut. Here's why.

Man's shaved head

Momlogic's Molly: Before you say anything ... yes. I know I am a bitch. I know this is petty, inconsequential and superficial. I married him for who he is, not how he looks. Having said that, I am f&^%ing mad he shaved his f%$#ing head.

Here's a little background: When I first met my husband, his idea of a "haircut" was a #4 clipper and a beer. He was proud of his shaved head. One thing, though: It looked awful. He looks like Gomer Pyle reporting for his first day of PT.

As we were dating, I slowly got him to grow his hair out. With longer hair he looks terrific -- attractive, manly and sexy. Lately, for the past six months, he's been grumbling about his hair. He feels uncomfortable going to a "salon" and keeps muttering "I'm just gonna shave it." It's almost like he thinks that getting a proper haircut is waaay too metrosexual. I think it makes him an adult. (And for the record, he has a glorious head of hair and is not balding. So the shaving is not a necessity.)

At first, I ignored his shaving rumblings, but he kept bringing it up. I finally told him how I felt, and I asked -- well, BEGGED -- please don't shave your head. It wasn't a joke for me anymore ... it was a big deal. I was honest and clear with my feelings and I expressed that to him. I don't know why I feel like his hair is a reflection on me, but I do. I take a lot of care and pride in my appearance. When I recently chopped my long locks into a Posh-style bob, I specifically called my man from the salon to ask him. If he had said no, I would not have done it. He said go for it -- and I did. He, like me, loves my new 'do. I make sure I look good when I leave the house because I like to good for me -- and for him.

Cut to yesterday. He told me he was going to get a haircut. I didn't think anything of it as I had CLEARLY expressed my opinion to him repeatedly. I got home from a long day at work last night, walked through the door and saw him -- in all his shaved glory. I was so mad I didn't speak to him and went directly to bed. This morning as I was leaving, he asked if I was mad. I couldn't even respond. MAD?!? OF COURSE I AM MAD. YOU LOOK STUPID. Ugh. I feel like he's holding on to his college "I don't care what my appearance says about me" attitude. He has a professional job, he's a grown-up. With an 8-year-old crew cut. But saying so makes me look like the bad guy, and I hate that.

Am I overreacting? What do you think?


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22 comments so far | Post a comment now
Wendi December 5, 2008, 3:20 PM

Well it sounds to me like he is not the one that needs to get over it and grow up. You cut your hair how you wanted it and why should it be any different for him?

My husband shaves his head bald, I love it. Even though I use to love longer hair on guys, this is who HE is and I love HIM for who HE is. There is nothing wrong with being bald, it is actually pretty sexy :)

Anonymous December 5, 2008, 3:52 PM

lol I got you beat, my husband grew a MULLET. yes a long greasy mullet that looks disgusting. he knows I hate it but that just makes him laugh! and for the record, I have refrained from cutting my hair short just because he likes it longer!I love him no matter what but I have to say i find him much more attractive sans mullet.

Heidi Rex December 5, 2008, 5:07 PM

Do you have a picture of your husband so we can judge him?

Bald men only shave their heads to either hide a bald spot or because they are trying to attract younger women.

Been there December 5, 2008, 5:37 PM

He heard you and chose to get the cut anyway. You have a right to be angry. That said, ask him why. The only way this will be resolved is through continued communication. Remember, you fell for him when his hair looked like crap to begin with. Maybe you can come up with a shorter cut you can do and cut it for him. Could lead to more “fun” stuff after. When my husband chose to go from longer to shorter (I didn’t like him as well bald and he’s been there.) I used the clippers to help him keep a nicer, shorter cut that we could both live with, and since I’m no hair dresser by any means, I could still take pride in his hair, but on a different level.

cara December 6, 2008, 1:40 PM

Two words, Hit Man - rent it! You’ll fall in love with a blad head, trust.

Amber December 6, 2008, 1:52 PM

I met my husband when he had just gotten out of the army so he had a shaved head. 8 years later I keep his head shaved. I think it’s sexy on him. He likes it too because there is nothing to do with it, just wash and go.

Uly December 6, 2008, 7:58 PM

You married him and became his wife - not his mommy. He’s a grown man and he’s allowed to do whatever silly things he wants with his body. If you think he did it just to annoy you you should talk to him about it but otherwise - grow up!

L.J December 8, 2008, 3:17 AM

I noticed on here that most of the womans’ responses is deal with it. I disagree- what if you decided to stop shaving? Or dyed your hair neon green? or got a Amy Winehouse shaped tattoo? People would, then, take his side saying that its ok for him to have an affair since you are not keeping up your appearence. Thankyou, this is stong proof that sexism still exists and I though those modern day feminists were all full of hot air.
not to say that what I would do would be the mature thing, but what i would was find something he finds unattractive- say, like wearing a loose fitting moomoo to bed each night- or you could do something that you have always wanted to do but couldnt because he said he didn’t want you to and you respected that- obviously nothing serious like an affair or maxing out credit cards; something simple like using the toilet when he is in the shower, or whistling. If he complains just say “you say you want me to stop doing xyz, just like i said i didnt want you to shave your head- hmmm…”

curt December 10, 2008, 1:42 PM

he should keep it shaved. if you don’t like it that’s too bad. deal with it.

MrWright December 10, 2008, 5:44 PM

I understand why you are mad, but you need to see it for what it really is. He is sending up a sign that something is wrong, and this is the only thing he has control over. I don’t mean this as a slam, but judging by how pissed off you are about this, it validates my point.

maria December 11, 2008, 12:56 AM

I can’t remember the last time I dated a man that had hair!
Bald men are sexy .. plain and simple. I love my boyfriend’s bald head … what a turn on! (or it could be the 6’4, muscles .. )

Diana Y December 11, 2008, 5:09 AM

Is this YOU G~? Just wondering since I heard from “my hubby” that there was something written here about T~… :) Well “my hubby” still cuts his hair the same way it looked in Junior High (a fade so close to his head, he’s bald in the back, but has sprouts on the top)…I mean…uh…get a new hairdo dude! hahaha So anyhow…I feel ya!!

~D~




Beth December 11, 2008, 7:52 PM

Sounds like she’s the arrogant, superficial bi$%h and got what she deserved.

Patricia December 15, 2008, 10:57 PM

If your husband has personality and is not boring; verbally, mentally, physically abusive; obese or extremely unattractive. Try to focus on the positive.

Anonymous February 7, 2009, 5:01 PM

Shave his head for him and run your hands thru it once its smooth. the feeling of it is amazing

Jeremy May 2, 2009, 6:41 PM

Quite honestly, I don’t think it’s about the shaved head - it’s about you having some power over him. It’s not like he went and got a tattoo - which you would have every right to be upset with. The hair will grow out (continually) - and he’ll have to cut it again - even if its a length you like. The haircut is not such a big deal. And here’s a little secret, guys aren’t going to stay with around forever, even if married, if they don’t feel like the masculine/dominate one in the relationship. Not saying that you should deal with anything passive aggressive, but put it in perspective…

Shan June 13, 2009, 1:43 AM

Well…this is interesting to see.

My boyfriend recently got into a situation where he almost cheated. A 20 year old waitress left him her number on the check and he called…and went out with her when I was visiting family abroad. He claims nothing happened after I found out and confronted him- I’m still out of town.

In recent months he has quit smoking, started working out 6 days a week, and YES he grew out his previously bald head into GORGEOUS ryan reynolds like hair. He’s 32 and has never looked better. He’s attractive and sexy, he’s lost weight and his 6’5 tattooed frame is indeed the perfect mix of bad boy and pretty boy.

I spoke to him tonight and he wants to shave it. With me placing so many restrictions on him due to this young girl incident (I’m 24) I think he feels that going back to ” who he is” is rebelling against me because he doesn’t have the control right now. Over his appearance YES he does. I never asked him to change his appearance HE got caught up in it, and most likely due to my very positive feedback.

I am upset and devastated and I felt it made him look younger and I loved to run my hands through it. However, when we met I was a tanned platinum blonde and I am now a not-so-tanned very deep brunette and he didn’t mind. SURELY he has a preference but to this day has said ” whatever makes you happy, I love you for so much more than your hair”.

He told me before he did it ( probably is right now) and said he just wanted to make sure I’d still love him. What can you say to that???

I also thinks getting rid of the “pretty boy” in his eyes will prevent him from being hit on and have tha temptation in front of him- he claims he just doesn’t want to “do” it anymore.

BLAH!

Jenni/mom2nji September 30, 2009, 4:43 PM

Umm GROW UP. This whole post is shallow. He is a grown man, if he wants to shave his head, he can.

Alison September 30, 2009, 5:18 PM

You asked nicely and he chose to behave like a douche. Sure, it’s petty that it bothers you, but it DOES and he KNOWS it. Everyone has a few petty things that annoy them (and if you think you don’t, you’re lying to yourself), so I don’t see why you should feel guilty for it just because your husband chose to force you to look at your pet peeve for the next few weeks.

My advice is to cease being seen in public with him at all. If it really, really bothers you, don’t acknowledge that you find him attractive at all until it starts to grow out, then slowly resume complimenting him. If you really effing LOATHE it, keep your panties on until it grows out. Manipulative and spiteful? Yes. EFFECTIVE? Also, yes. :)

JJ May 10, 2010, 6:56 PM

My husband just did this and I’m pissed. I scheduled our first professional family photo session for this week (we have an infant girl). Sunday (Mother’s Day) he calls to say he’s getting a haircut. I ask him PLEASE do not shave your head. He laughs and says it depends on what mood strikes him when he gets to the shop. I laugh and say that whether he’s in the family photos or not depends on what mood strikes me when we get there.
We’ve gone through this before and he knows I don’t like his head shaved. It just doesn’t look good on him. I like Vin Deisel and other bald guys, but you have to have a certain head shape to pull it off, which he doesn’t. I mean, it’s his hair he can do what he wants but I’d like our first photos to look good, so can it wait until AFTER the photo shoot?
So he calls me an hour later to say he shaved his head. But wants to make it up to me, so he got his eyebrows thinned. WTF????
I canceled the photo shoot until his hair grows back.


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