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I Refuse to Let My Kid Believe in Santa

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Guest Blogger Grinchmommy: Do you let your children believe in Santa Claus? If so, SHAME ON YOU!

girl telling a secret about santa

One of parents' primary responsibilities is to teach their children to be honest and truthful individuals, something that is a little hard to enforce when you insist on the existence of a mythical creature with pet reindeer.

Allowing your kids believe in someone that doesn't exist not only sets them up for disappointment when they learn the truth, but it also sets you up to look like an untrustworthy liar. What sane, rational parent wants that? Not me! That's why I unveiled Santa's identity to my then two year-old daughter the first time she cast a curious eye toward the throned snow beast sitting inside the candy cane cottage at the local mall.

Now, at age six, my daughter is the only child in her kindergarten class who knows the truth about Santa. This didn't pose any problems ... until my daughter started enlightening her classmates. When reports trickled home that some of my daughter's classmates had taken the revelation particularly hard -- they cried -- I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't feel an ounce of guilt or regret. It's not my fault that some parents foster preposterous fantasies and it is definitely not my responsibility to protect them.

Another reason why Santa's identity should be unveiled once and for all has nothing to do with the poor rich kids whose dreams of flying reindeer and friendly elves are prematurely quashed, and everything to do with all of the unfortunate children in the world whom Santa routinely "forgets." It is simply cruel to coddle belief in a figure who purports to know every child by name, yet is discriminate in his gift-giving, showering some children's homes while skipping over others. While no one likes to be the source of his/her child's disappointment, it is far better in this case for the parent to take the blame for the absence of gifts on Christmas morning than St. Nick. As humans, we are subject to weaknesses, inadequacies, and failings that our child will eventually understand and overcome. Such understanding and acceptance may not be as easily earned from a figure who falls short of his promise to deliver a special gift to EVERY good girl and boy.

What do you think? Comment in the momlogic community.


next: Are Some Sports Too Risky For Kids?
118 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mom of five angels December 9, 2008, 1:28 AM

HIRH…
So sad for your children…

IDR December 9, 2008, 3:18 AM

Having been raised by a widowed single mother of 4, I am not telling my daughter “Santa” comes to our home and decides what kids gets which gifts. I felt the pain of the neighbor kids or school friends all to happy to tell of all the stuff they got for Christmas. Without a father, it was more painful that Santa didn’t think much of me either. It is a joke that everyone is lying to their kids because some guy wrote a poem. She will share in the joy of putting special gifts in turn with her other family members. Not some imaginary man who means nothing in her life. The miracle of the birth of Christ is enough “magic” and joy for us. At least in Europe they celebrate “St. Nick” 2 weeks before Christmas and he doesn’t take the place of the celebraton of Christ’s birth. PLease….tell me what kid is celebrating that and not thinking about what they are going to get from someone who does not even exist!

micki December 9, 2008, 6:56 AM

sad, childhood is about possibilities, magic and wonder, you could have just adopted 60 year-old’s and skipped that whole problem. I hope Santa visits YOU this year.
If he doesn’t exist then who is that red guy I see everywhere! I do think he needs to be more fair and that is problematic, but as long as a man can dream, he can redeem his soul.

Jennifer December 9, 2008, 7:06 AM

I agree with Chris, now a days, kid are growing up really fast. I let my kids belive there is a Santa. They know the santa’s at the mall are, I guess fake santa’s, but I tell them that they are santas helpers to spread the cheer of Christmas to everyone. My 15 yr old daughter belives in Santa. Well, not exactly, I give my kids a Santa gift every year, signed by Santa, and I let them know that as long as they belive, there is a Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc…I dont feel im a liar…Let them be kid, we dont want them growing up to fast.

Anonymous December 9, 2008, 7:34 AM

And… the easter bunny isn’t real either.

Holidays are all pagan… look into it.

AND… Halloween is the worst one.

Jennifer December 9, 2008, 9:11 AM

I hope my kid beats up your kid at school. Meanie!

Anonymous December 9, 2008, 9:15 AM

Oh, one more thing. Do you not allow your child to watch movies, or read fiction books? Those aren’t real. They are purely for entertainment. And what about when they get hurt? Do you tell them ‘It’s going to be okay?’, even when it’s not? Because that isn’t always real. It’s to comfort. So the things we NORMAL people to do comfort and entertain our children make us bad parents. Enjoy having your child teased at school, because that is JUST what will happen.

ame i. December 9, 2008, 9:49 AM

Well, my response to your not darling child ruining Santa for my child would be to tell my child to NEVER talk to yours again or play with her at school and get as many of the other classmates to do the same as I could. How would you like that?

Michelle December 9, 2008, 10:01 AM

I agree with Kate and lady you are a HATER and a Bully and you are teaching your children to be the same! Your poor children! What did anyone do to you in your childhood to cause you to be so twisted? Allow Children to be Children! Life is too short!

terri December 9, 2008, 10:50 AM

Shame on you parents that wont let their children beleive in Santa.Children deserve some fun fantasy,imagination and beliving in Santa and the easter bunny.My gosh thats not going to hurt them ,by the time most kids find out they dont really exist they are older and they dont care .Let the kids be kids and enjoy their childhood while they are children.When these parents who think telling them the honest truth about Santa are they also telling them the truth about life and death and other things kids shouldn’t have to think about?I feel so sorry for the kids who have parents like that….

TAZROCKS December 9, 2008, 11:27 AM

I told my childrent that Jesus sends Santa to give ALL children presents for his birthday.

Its a mix between the both. My 4yr old already asked me if he was real.. i told her that he is not the reason for Christmas. Jesus is. She was fine with that. I’m not so secretive about things.. i buy presents in front of her for her brother and stuff.. Santa isn’t the reason for Christmas, and its nice to have the kids be excited about Jesus.

jess December 9, 2008, 12:01 PM

Oh if only we could all be perfect parents lol. You know heaven forbid children use their imaginations and believe in the spirit of someone who gave to others. My kids can feel free to send me the therapy bill, if it’s so taxing on their lives that we let them believe in the spirit of giving through a man named santa claus.

Anonymous December 9, 2008, 12:07 PM

Santa is wonderful for all to enjoy…We are to enhance and explore dreams, hope, and expand the imagination for our children. It would be the same as telling them they aren’t allowed to play or express themselves through…it’s all a part of being a child.

jess December 9, 2008, 12:18 PM

Oh and I also wanted to add this, would you feel the same way if other children were “enlightening” your child on things? For example your child said we are X religion and a child said well that’s not a real religion and its the wrong one? Or something otherwise that your family believed in…I think you are rude for not respecting other peoples choices in what to teach THEIR children . It’s not your place nor is it your daughters to enlighten other small children who dont know any different, its their parents job if they choose to do so. I think it makes you look bitter that you have such cold feelings about your daughter upsetting other children, even if you dont agree with it. What you should have told your daughter like most decent parents do, is…
” we choose not to believe in santa and that’s ok, but other people choose to believe in santa and that’s ok too but we need to keep our choices to ourselves because its not our place to tell others what to believe in.”
That’s not really any sacrifice on your beliefs now is it? I mean we’re talking about small children here not 15 yr olds.

lizanne December 9, 2008, 12:59 PM

I think that is dispicable!!! At 44 years old, I still remember and TRESURE the magical feeling I had as a child believing in Santa. I can’t epress how much that meant to me as I reflect back on my childhood. It means everything to me to try to recreate that feeling for my 5 year old daughter, especially in this day and age when you can’t even let your child outside alone in their own front yard to play. Granted circumstances are different to every family, and it is what you make it. It isn’t just about SANTA CLAUS, it’s about believing in something, something special or magical. I pity your child for having a mother so cynical…it is not a lie you are creating, on the contary, you are giving them a wonderful gift..the gift of childhood, hope, and the ability to believe in something magical in an otherwise dangerous world.

lolz December 9, 2008, 1:03 PM

my mom and dad never indulged in the belief of a present santa claus, but instead raised us to appreciate everything that we had and that we got, even if it wasn’t exactly what we wanted.

another thing that my dad did, which i think was really great, and that i do with my own children, is not to tell them that santa claus isn’t real, but that he was a real man, saint nicholas-and tell them the true story of santa claus. so santa claus is understandably tradition, but not a made up christmas figure. i think a lot of people who have their children believe in santa claus don’t even realize that, yes, there was a real saint nick.

For anyone interested, here is the wikipedia page on good ol’ saint nick:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas

USNWife December 9, 2008, 1:20 PM

This is the deal. You have the right to believe what you want and teach those beliefs to your children and live them in your everyday life. You even have the right to write this hateful article on Momlogic which implies that those who do not share your views are horrible parents. That is the freedom that my husband a United States Sailor fights for everyday on your behalf. Where I have the problem with you is when you decide it is your right to impose those beliefs through your children onto mine thus interferring with the decisions my husband and I make for our family as for what belief system we choose to teach our children. I am praying that you rethink your parental roll and teach your children some tolerance before it is too late. While your at it maybe you should take a break from being so negative get off your a** and do something good for the world! And yes I practice that in my own life and that of my children everyday.
Jesus Rocks!!!

Anonymous December 9, 2008, 1:47 PM

Some of you are complete b*tches. Just b/c you don’t want to enjoy the fun of santa does not give you or your child the right to ruin it. I am just as entitled to tell my kid there is a santa as you are to tell them there is not. Oh, let’s spare them the disappointment. So, if your kids isn’t that smart and asks if they can be President or a doctor are you gonna tell them no, you aren’t smart enough but maybe you can be a ditch digger though? ya know you don’t want them to be disappointed when they barely graduate high school and cannot get into med school!

Char December 9, 2008, 3:42 PM

I hold true to the Santa tradition. I want my little one to believe as long as humanly possible. Which for my older kids lasted to about 2nd grade. When the truth was known. We moved on to Phase two where the rest of us are. Honorary Elves.

Just because you don’t believe doesn’t mean you need to spoil the fun for the others. My older kids have found fun to be honorary elves to help with the santa tradition. Kids should not go around destroying the fun for others even if you don’t believe in santa you can still have a christmas spirit.

Lisa December 9, 2008, 3:44 PM

In my experience, the parents who feel “compelled” to enlighten their children about Santa, because they are “oh so honest,” are generally selfish people, who are unwilling to let their children think the toys on Christmas morning come from Santa, lest they not get enough gratitude themselves. Christmas is about giving gifts without expecting thanks. It’s a wonderful tradition started by Jesus himself, who gave the gift of eternal life to all those who will receive it.


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