twitter facebook stumble upon rss

I Refuse to Let My Kid Believe in Santa

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Guest Blogger Grinchmommy: Do you let your children believe in Santa Claus? If so, SHAME ON YOU!

girl telling a secret about santa

One of parents' primary responsibilities is to teach their children to be honest and truthful individuals, something that is a little hard to enforce when you insist on the existence of a mythical creature with pet reindeer.

Allowing your kids believe in someone that doesn't exist not only sets them up for disappointment when they learn the truth, but it also sets you up to look like an untrustworthy liar. What sane, rational parent wants that? Not me! That's why I unveiled Santa's identity to my then two year-old daughter the first time she cast a curious eye toward the throned snow beast sitting inside the candy cane cottage at the local mall.

Now, at age six, my daughter is the only child in her kindergarten class who knows the truth about Santa. This didn't pose any problems ... until my daughter started enlightening her classmates. When reports trickled home that some of my daughter's classmates had taken the revelation particularly hard -- they cried -- I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't feel an ounce of guilt or regret. It's not my fault that some parents foster preposterous fantasies and it is definitely not my responsibility to protect them.

Another reason why Santa's identity should be unveiled once and for all has nothing to do with the poor rich kids whose dreams of flying reindeer and friendly elves are prematurely quashed, and everything to do with all of the unfortunate children in the world whom Santa routinely "forgets." It is simply cruel to coddle belief in a figure who purports to know every child by name, yet is discriminate in his gift-giving, showering some children's homes while skipping over others. While no one likes to be the source of his/her child's disappointment, it is far better in this case for the parent to take the blame for the absence of gifts on Christmas morning than St. Nick. As humans, we are subject to weaknesses, inadequacies, and failings that our child will eventually understand and overcome. Such understanding and acceptance may not be as easily earned from a figure who falls short of his promise to deliver a special gift to EVERY good girl and boy.

What do you think? Comment in the momlogic community.

next: Are Some Sports Too Risky For Kids?
118 comments so far | Post a comment now
Oh My!!! December 14, 2008, 2:46 AM

Are you serious??? SHAME ON YOU!!! I don’t believe in GOD, but I would never have my child “enlighten” yours about my beliefs. Have you seen GOD? But people believe - that would be called FAITH! Fine you don’t want to have Santa as part of your childs life - that is fine by me. But you nor your child need to enlighten me or my child. Please come off your high horse, because I can guarnatee you have told some white lies to your child, your friends and your family in your life time. It is very easy to tell your child that we all have different beliefs and that it is ok. It is called ACCEPTANCE!!! I am not against your feelings to not believe in Santa, but I am against you thinking the rest of us are crazy. Very Sad!!!

Fine with Teaching Hope December 14, 2008, 9:07 AM

Seriosly, you need to seek help. I hope the love of Christ gets ahold of you and changes you in the way only the one true God can. It sounds like the spirit of true forgiveness and hope need to resonate in your heart for a while.

sean December 14, 2008, 10:14 PM

It’s very sad to the parents that seem the need to tell there children there is no Santa, you people just don’t get it and that is a shame. Santa is about all that’s good on this earth and if more people started to believe in him and continue to believe in him as adults how this world would be such a better place. But it’s always the negative for some and it’s this negative feelings that causes more problems then good. You people need to rethink your decision to tell your kids there’s no Santa cause kids will cherish those thoughts throughout there lives to adulthood and will be a good and decent person because of it. Santa is about giving and sharing and love and this must be taught to everyone. I feel sorry for the parents that disagree and think they need to tell there kids there is no Santa.

Anonymous December 14, 2008, 11:00 PM

whoever wrote this should be ashamed of themselves. you are a cruel cruel person. you obviously need to seek professional help because your insecure about the life you had as a child. maybe santa could bring you a therapist for christmas

Amy December 15, 2008, 10:15 PM

I understand your points, but what a rude delivery!
Shame on you for criticizing and your high-and-mighty attitude.

a pittsburgh mom December 16, 2008, 3:22 PM

seems to me there are 2 extremes in the Santa Debate — those who despise everything about Santa and those who adore Santa.

i don’t think either side is wrong. we all do what is best for our own families.

but there is a happy middle ground. while we won’t tell our child that Santa is “real,” we will allow her to play the *Santa Game* if she so chooses. there are ways to “enlighten” your children, but still let them partake in the fantasy of it all.

our little one is only 2. she just knows that Santa is a man with a white beard at the mall who says Ho, Ho, Ho! we treat him like we treat Elmo and Barney. he’s a character, right now. we don’t say that Santa is coming to our house…we don’t say he delivers toys. just as we don’t say Barney is going to come over for a visit. or that we’re going to go look for Elmo. but we still acknowledge him as a man at Christmas who wears jingle bells and likes reindeer.

you know, i don’t remember ANY of the gifts from Santa…but i remember making christmas cookies for him. and that is why i want to still allow my little one to experience the pretend-play side of it. the gifts, honestly, are meaningless. they are just material goods that you can get at any time of the year. but the simple traditions (and lasting memories) are of utmost importance.

i see it as this — my daughter has a kitchen set. and she knows it’s not “real.” she knows she’s not going to bake a real cake in her oven. but she loves to pretend it’s real. and that’s why we are taking the middle ground when it comes to Santa.

guess Santa falls into the same category as sex and politics…NEVER discuss it!

Believer December 16, 2008, 11:04 PM

Seriously, this is ridiculous…YOU are the one that needs to be ashamed! Get off of your high horse and come back to reality, everyone has the RIGHT to believe what they choose and NO ONE should be told that they are wrong for feeling that way! I grew up believing in Santa Claus and I am just fine…obviously you were told the facts about life and now are forever an old grouch…Good Luck with that lady!

Connie December 21, 2008, 1:01 AM

when did CHRISTmas become about Santa Clause. My kids will not and do not believe in Santa. I truely believe the Holiday season is a time for you to Spend time with your friends and family. Not about a fat man in a suit that hangs out with short people.

Andrea December 23, 2008, 9:48 AM

My children don’t believe in Santa either. One main reason is because I want them to know the true meaning of Christmas….Jesus’ birth. Santa takes the attention off Jesus. And also, you have your child believe in something for years and then tell them he’s not real, they’ll be waiting for the day you tell them God isn’t real. But I do teach my children not to tell others Santa isn’t real…How ironic that I am telling my child to LIE to other kids and not let out the Santa secret. The “spirit of Christmas”, as so many call it, is not Santa, but Jesus. Try replacing the name Jesus in for Santa, after all, Jesus is the one that can see you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake. He’s the one that should be in our hearts, not Santa.

Dee January 2, 2009, 8:05 AM

We don’t believe in Santa either. But we don’t have a problem with anyone who does believe in him. I have always taught my daughter and grandson about the real reason for the season, and that is Jesus Christ isn’t that why we celebrate Christmas anyway ? I was told that there was really a St. Nick, and that he was a good and kind person and he went around doing good for the children and I have told my daughter and grandson about him, but Jesus was and is a kind and caring man, and he went around doing good for many, even those that turned their backs on him, he died for our sins. What has Santa done that Jesus hasn’t already done? But if others want to believe in a fantasy more power to them, but I will tell my grandchildren about Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas.

April January 29, 2009, 9:19 AM

I am still angry at my parents for lying to me about Santa and I am 28 years old. I was very upset when I found out the truth from by BF’s brother. So I thought I would put my parents to the test. I seriously asked them to tell me the truth about Santa. I wanted to see if I could trust them…they lied and perpetuated the myth. So on that day I lost all trust for them and honestly they have never fully regained it 20 years later. So all of you can stop saying “I never met anyone who is angry at their parents for lying.” You just met me and I am still angry and bitter about it. Booyah!

I am not doing Santa for my kids. My own father who knows how upset I was when I found out the truth yells at me all the time because he thinks I should do it with my children. Not happening. I will tell my kids the truth always. If I can’t answer a question truthfully then I just won’t answer at all and tell them “I am not answering that. Maybe when you are older.” That way I am not a liar and I won’t be sinning. Yep lying even white lies are sins.

I don’t judge or hate parents who do Santa. That is their choice and they will suffer the consequences when their own children lose trust in them. I won’t encourage my children to tell the truth about Santa to other kids, but if backed in a corner they will be instructed not to lie to spare feelings. Lying is wrong and that is a very important lesson we will teach them. Honestly has cost me a lot of friends and made me a bunch of enemies, but I want to go to heaven so I won’t do it. I chose to try to avoid saying anything hurtful by changing the subject etc but I won’t lie outright. Won’t do it. I will teach my children the same. I will have no regrets either. My kids are popular now and none of their parents are offended that I won’t be doing Santa. Most of them don’t want to either or they are just kinda blase about the issue.

April January 29, 2009, 9:27 AM

Also there is a difference between pretend play and imagination and Santa myth. My sons and I can pretend we are pirates on the open sea, but if they really ask “Mommy are we really pirates?” I can say “No we are just pretending. We are really normal people.” But if your kid asks if there is really a Santa, you will say “Yes he is the one who made these toys and put them under the tree.” When the toys were made in China and you and daddy put the toys out late the night before. That is a lie.

Rach February 7, 2009, 10:45 AM

I agree with you. My kids will never be raised to believe in Santa Clause. Thank you for standing up and publishing your thoughts.

Bearie May 12, 2009, 8:31 PM

I am not a mom, but I agree with this blog post 120%. Honesty is best and will help your children deal with disappointments in life.

Mandy December 1, 2009, 12:35 AM

I personally had a mom that totally ruined Santa for me and my brother when we were kids, my poor dad tried desperately to get my brother and I to believe to no avail. My moms excuse was that she didn’t want us believing in something that wasn’t real, but would sit us down every christmas and read out of the bible about Jesus Christ’s birth, which I’m sorry if this offends, but is complete bull crap. I think kids should be able to believe, it makes Christmas fun and exciting and when they are old enough they figure it out on they’re own, its just not fair to take that joy away from a two year old little girl. Shame on you for being so insecure that you feel the need to take the magic out of Christmas for a kindergartner.

Scipio December 1, 2009, 1:15 AM

You still believe in Jesus, don’t you? Same concept.

As a side note, I’m well on my way to getting you banned from StumbleUpon. Your self-submissions break the ToS.

Let’s see how you survive without the Stumblers you ensnare.

whydopeopledothis December 10, 2009, 10:43 AM

We have a book called “Have You Filled a Bucket Today?” Santa left it last year when my daughter was having such a hard time with friends being very unkind.

You might want to get a hold of it… The book has a real life lesson to teach adults as well as children.

DJN December 17, 2009, 2:06 PM

Read this Grinch.
Shame on you.

Jennifer December 21, 2009, 11:39 AM

What happened to you as a child??? And what was the deal with the last part of the article about rich vs. poor kids??? What the heck was that about? You sound like a wounded adult or something. I love my memories of racing downstairs with my siblings to see what Santa left. You think I didn’t figure out that Santa and my Mom had the same handwriting??? It was still fun! Do you allow your children to do any pretend games?? I would hate to grow up in your house! It sounds sad and pathetic!!

Back to top >>