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Strippers and Porn: Your New Best Friends!

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: When asked about their husband's not-so-secret porn collection or his occasional after work meeting at Mustang Sally's, the majority of women cringe with disgust and are dazed by their utter confusion about, and disappointment in, the male species. Infected with insecurities, most ask, "Why does he need that when he's got me?"

Man at strip club

Simply stated, ladies, this isn't about you.

Not everything your mate does will be a direct reflection of how he views or doesn't view you. Even in a marriage, when your days of being single are far behind you and are hopefully never to be seen again, each one of you must remain a singular being, retaining and maintaining your own identity, sexually and otherwise.

Although your sexual preferences may differ from that of your other half, it is best to try to understand what he finds so alluring about other forms of pleasure and, if you're smart, you'll find a way to incorporate these forms into your home life. Instead of ostracizing him for simply being himself, accept who he is and what turns him on, then, make his fantasies come to life. After all, in relationships, we are not to love one another despite who we are, but because of it.

Now that we have an understanding, what's next? Behold, homemade porn and trips to Mustang Sally's!

The thought alone may be intimidating to the female laymen, albeit refreshing to your man, I'm sure. In part two of this series there will be tips to follow which will be crucial to the survival of your union if your man seeks outside erotic stimulus. So, pay attention ladies -- and whatever you do, don't knock it until you try it!

next: 'Sneaky Chef' Gets New Book Deal Despite Lawsuit
39 comments so far | Post a comment now
Charity  December 12, 2008, 2:41 PM

Very well put!!!

LaLa December 12, 2008, 2:50 PM

This advice is priceless! Listen up ladies: Karrine speaks the truth! Thank you!

LadySue December 12, 2008, 5:31 PM

Great job! You are a force to be reckon with when it comes to writing and knowing the subjects/topics you write about.
Some women are stuck in that ordinary way of life in marriage. Times have changed and we women (married or not, in a relationship or not) need to step it up and keep it up.
Look forward to reading more of your work.

Justi December 13, 2008, 8:52 AM

See, this is the problem, why are women turning to a woman who has not had a successful marriage for an extended period and who has basically whored herself out and been passed around to COUNTLESS men due to her use of these “tactics” to no avail?! She writes a book (that was only made famous because people wanted to know about the celebrities, because no one even knew who she was or cared) and now she can give relationship advice?? shame on momlogic for even allowing this glorified blogger to post the website. women, you follow this advice if you want to end up as the “cut buddy” or be demoted from your “only one” or “wife” status. this advice only opens the door to other things. men are notorious for taking a mile when given an inch. And yes, it is okay to indulge in fantasies, but in this instance that is not what it is about. I could poke so many holes in this advice, but there arent that many characters available…

Anonymous December 13, 2008, 9:54 AM

Yo!! I feel you one hundred percent Justi!! YOU should have wrote this article.

Truthfully Speaking December 13, 2008, 11:12 AM

I agree with you Justi I don’t think I can look at the same this woman should stay away from anything that deals with relationships. She has no good record or knowledge on relationships as much as she believes she does. Just because you go through many differnt men does not mean you know anything of value to help a woman keep or satisfy a man. When she truly has been in a real honest loving relationship for years then maybe she can speak a little.

symeerah December 13, 2008, 4:19 PM

i Think that karrine is right in ways. Alot of ways actually, and to justi and truthfully speaking you should keep your comment s to your self cause if you don’t likewhat she’s saying then get the hell off this blogger(karrine) stay off her page tahnk-you and good-bye!!

Gina G. December 13, 2008, 6:26 PM

Bravo Karrine! Your writing just gets better and better every time I stumble upon it. Keep up the great work! Be Blessed!

Maria R. December 13, 2008, 6:52 PM

Ecellence Piece.

shawty December 13, 2008, 7:05 PM

Karrine is human like all of us. She is a woman who has had some hard times, and may have made some mistakes along the way (as we ALL have), but she has grown into a WOMAN. I love any advice she would have, for someone of experience. Everyone should give her a chance

Patricia December 13, 2008, 9:49 PM

My ex-husband wanted me to be Mother Teresa, but he was Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt and Howard Stern. My ex-husband was so addicked to XXX movies, magazines, internet that I had to have an affair to get some sex. Oh well, if a guy is into himself he deserves payback.

the_shoparazzi December 14, 2008, 11:49 AM

with all due respect to ur opinion and comment, millions of married women (and men) have been relying on oprah’s marriage advice for decades and she’s never been married. whom among us has not made mistakes in the past? isn’t life making mistakes, correcting them and living long enough to make more?

Patricia December 14, 2008, 2:48 PM

Before you marry a guy; ask him if he is going to bring XXX movies,XXX magazines and print porn pictures of women off the internet. My experience was a sexless, romance less and sick marriage. My ex-husband was so busy milking himself to Christy Canyon, etc., that there was no lust left for me. My ex-husband was always telling me to go places by myself,”because he was writing computer programs”. If I knew what he was really doing I would have divorced him the first year of our marriage. I’m not the type of woman that wants to play with herself; because the man is so exhausted from playing with himself. Now I can laugh and joke about my ex-husband; but when I was married it was heartbreaking. My deceased father-in-law was addicted to XXX, etc. also; my mother-in-law had a garbage marriage too and divorced him after 30 years. When porn comes in the front door, the marriage or relationship goes out the back door.

T December 14, 2008, 3:54 PM

Good job Karrine. I hope to read more of your writing. TO ALL HATERS: IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!

Kirsten December 14, 2008, 3:57 PM

Porn & strippers hurt all women, and they kill relationships. Why on earth would you want to promote that???

justi December 14, 2008, 5:17 PM

on oprah’s show she has a licensed MFT. again, im not knockin her hustle to get where she got. im just saying, this is not good advice to give women, as other posters have written as well. as a married woman there are many factors that go into marriages and relationships. compromises that are necessary and those that are detrimental. This is one that is detrimental. you guys are taking all of this so personally when it is my opinion. i read it because i was interested in what it says, i dont agree, and now im commenting. tell me this, can you argue that she IS credible to give relationship advice? someone tell me that instead of saying ‘get off this site” because that just makes my case. defend her better than that, IF that is what you choose to do.

Patricia December 14, 2008, 10:06 PM

If guys can patronize porn and strippers, then women can patronize the pool guy, UPS man, Federal express man, mailman, snowplow man, TV repairman, cable guy, etc. Women need the real deal not some immature man that is stuck in his juvenile fantasies.

Patricia December 14, 2008, 10:12 PM

Porn stars and strippers are filth looking for an easy way of making money from guys who are ruled by their dicks. Get a real job; stop preying off perverts. A man who brings porn into the home is not a man; he is a juvenile teenager looking to jack off. A man who goes to strip joints is a LOSER and LOWLIFE.

Mone' December 15, 2008, 9:24 AM

i agree with T and Karrine
I love Karrine Steffans she keeps it 100. I beileve you should take adive from anybody who’s willing to give it be man or woman its the same as talkin to ur mom ur best friend or your homeboy. If you gone ask a question be prepared for the answer. Yall saying she this and that..thats neither here nor there

gigi December 16, 2008, 12:21 AM

all this from a woman best known for sleeping around with married men and being super at giving head. Wow what’s wrong with you people? fyi i just happened to stumble across this bs.

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