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Strippers and Porn: Your New Best Friends!

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: When asked about their husband's not-so-secret porn collection or his occasional after work meeting at Mustang Sally's, the majority of women cringe with disgust and are dazed by their utter confusion about, and disappointment in, the male species. Infected with insecurities, most ask, "Why does he need that when he's got me?"

Man at strip club

Simply stated, ladies, this isn't about you.

Not everything your mate does will be a direct reflection of how he views or doesn't view you. Even in a marriage, when your days of being single are far behind you and are hopefully never to be seen again, each one of you must remain a singular being, retaining and maintaining your own identity, sexually and otherwise.

Although your sexual preferences may differ from that of your other half, it is best to try to understand what he finds so alluring about other forms of pleasure and, if you're smart, you'll find a way to incorporate these forms into your home life. Instead of ostracizing him for simply being himself, accept who he is and what turns him on, then, make his fantasies come to life. After all, in relationships, we are not to love one another despite who we are, but because of it.

Now that we have an understanding, what's next? Behold, homemade porn and trips to Mustang Sally's!

The thought alone may be intimidating to the female laymen, albeit refreshing to your man, I'm sure. In part two of this series there will be tips to follow which will be crucial to the survival of your union if your man seeks outside erotic stimulus. So, pay attention ladies -- and whatever you do, don't knock it until you try it!


next: 'Sneaky Chef' Gets New Book Deal Despite Lawsuit
39 comments so far | Post a comment now
Me December 16, 2008, 12:08 PM

Well, well. I must agree with Justi. Here is a woman who has a son, and is pregnant with another, and is not married or in a relationship, and/or if she is in a relationship, that person that she is with doesnt want the public to know who she is. I find it disgusting that she can give advise just because she knows how to blow and screw. Hell if that is the case, let me get paid to give advise, because I feel like I am the queen of both. Karrine, take some time and find yourself, and learn to take care of your children, and not get pregnant by someone who is obviously “paid”, because WE ALL KNOW, money doesnt raise your kids, good parents do/

Renee December 16, 2008, 12:35 PM

I couldn’t agree more Justi. I rather take advice from Oprah then this chic. Oprah has class!!

Anonymous December 16, 2008, 1:08 PM

I’m not a big fan of strippers, but there’s nothing wrong with porn. I LOVE reading well written erotic fiction. Passionate stories simply turn me on. Porn is kind of the same way for guys; they tend to be more visual and not care so much about the storyline surrounding sex. They just like the visual stimulus. So when I read about another man and woman making love, I don’t fantasize about being with THAT man… my sexual energy carries over to MY man. It’s very much the same with men. They’re not dreaming about the porn stars. They’re watching the porn because it’s exciting, but what they really want to do is use that energy with YOU. As for strippers, if my man wanted to go to a strip club, I’d say okay as long as he doesn’t complain if I go see “Thunder from Down Under” with my girlfriends. ;)

Betty December 16, 2008, 4:25 PM

Another crap story from a porn actress! Of course she wants us to watch her sick videos becuase shes probably goin broke! lol sadly I tried stripping in my early 20’s for a few months and you wouldnt believe the scum men who will try to feel u up with the same hand theier wedding ring is on. They dont care &will go n the back with the ugliest grossest stripper in the house because she’ll do extras! gross is all I can say, my man will not go to a strip club.

OKFLCHIQ December 16, 2008, 6:01 PM

Good Job KS, even ppl who are married still don’t get the BIG PIC so let them haters be & you keep doing u…big ups!

Bri December 17, 2008, 10:05 PM

Like she said, don’t knock it till you try it. Simply stated.

very opinionated December 18, 2008, 2:21 AM

Although I agree with Karrine on some points you can not play out every one of your man’s fantasies because if your man wants to incorporate other women into your relationship you are setting yourself up for heartache and a very uneasy mind when your husband is not home with you. So please your man to the extent in which it does not disrespect your own morals. Karrine is an expert on how to please a man but not how to keep him as it has been displayed very clearly in her own life.

M1ssLovely December 19, 2008, 12:43 PM

Wow is the first word that comes to mind when reading the comments after reading this blog. First, let the woman that has NO sin, cast the first stone. We are not perfect people therefore we should not judge someone for their past, especially if you do not know that person personally. I think the article is very helpful. I am married myself and I am always trying to think of new ways to keep things spicy because what you won’t do, another woman will. Remember the song “The Clean Up Woman”? Well, that’s what a lot of woman are doing, just making it easy. Two things that will never keep a man cause he can get it somewhere else: coochie and a baby. Think about that the next time your man/boyfriend/husband asks you to try something new. In the words of Maya Angelou: At the time, you did what you knew and when you knew better you did better. Let that marinate for a while.
M1ssLovely

Sister Gloria December 19, 2008, 1:17 PM

It’s not about the messenger, it’s the message. If someone else had said the same thing, no one would be complaining. She is speaking the truth and instead of judging this woman, understand that you don’t have a heaven or a hell to put her in. The bashing of her is just as tired. You are not in a position to cast stones at this woman. And I dare say that black “vixens” or ladies of the night, face a harder road than their white counterparts who do the same things or even more. If this was Tracy Lords or some other white porn star, she’d be either praised or taken up for. Leave Karrine alone. This article was excellent and all you have to add is criticism of her life. You are on such a one track mind that’s it’s sad.

Womanindeed December 19, 2008, 2:50 PM

Unfortunately trash sells. I feel sorry for Karrine and more sorry for people that can look at her life and think shes’s done somethig so great, she’s worthy to give advice. Oprah isn’t married but we’ve only heard about her and ONE man. Karrine glamorizes her MANY relationships but no one wants to be seen with her. She’s silly enough to think women or people are impressed by her ability to bed so many men. ANIMALS DO IT! You don’t need a brain to have sex. Takes more will power to refuse it actually. Does she ever say no!? I’m not judging but the world knows her for sex and head. It will be HARD for her to live that down but any decent woman, married or not shouldn’t want to hear from her. Wisdom and communication will preserve any relationship.

truthspeaker December 20, 2008, 2:16 PM

why is it that someone has to be a hater if they dont agree with an opinion? I think Karrinne does a great job in warning young women to not follow her old life style and things that she did in the past. I have commended her words while reading her blog and smiled at her responses when others praised her past actions while she spoke against them. However, I would not take any advice from anyone who has not been succesful with keeping a good man. I look to people who have been happily married for years or in a relationship for years. I would take sex tips from her though. I dont think I have all the answers but I am married and happily for more than a decade. Praise the Most High! Im no hater!

Rose December 21, 2008, 9:01 AM

I commend Karrine on what she is saying, she is right, me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, and I knew he was into porn and so am I so it wasn’t a problem, ladies you need to face a harsh reality that a lot of guys are into porn and if you cant accept that then leave him or work something out.

Yolanda  December 21, 2008, 12:39 PM

I just want to say I feel Karrine and Justi both of you have a point. We have to look at life in a different way now she was 16 or 17 (Karrine) when she started doing these things. But when you have kids you have to stop and say what if my child does this, are you setting a good example for your child. You know Karrine is telling all of this information to the world at the same time she is telling because like she said in her book she was broke and she had no where to turn. At the same time she tells on all the men that she slept with because the world wanted to know. So now she makes hundreds of thousand of dollars off of news, but at the same time she says that she has changed and evertime you turn around it is still a different man in her life she is still doing what she was doing before and trying to be a spokeslady to others. I respect that you have to do what you can to provide for your family but look at the lives that are at fault. And then you say that you dont want to tell the name of who Big Papa is you know why because she is still messing around with him. Come on you sont wake up one morning and say I will stop sleeping with all these mens. I’am not mad with you but if you want to do the right thing live up to your word and do what your word says do make money to provide for yourself and at the same time you are still sleeping with hundreds of men you should be tired.. You know if you want to tell all then tell all dont tell a little hear and there you were sick on Labor Day and Lil Wayne had a baby not long ago and on your website you were holding your stomach and rubbing your stomach and all the sickness going on are you having his baby? Lets keep it real if you dont have anything to hide dont hide nothing put it all on the table. I wont say that my life was like Karrine but I have had a past but what makes me be REAL today is I think about my kids I dont want my kids to be nothing like I was BUT BETTER and if you keep doing want you are doing then your son wont have any respect for his WOMAN.

LadyDOC December 21, 2008, 5:04 PM

I think it takes great courage to pull yourself up from the depths of life we can sometimes fall into. Ms. Steffans is a courageous woman and she should serve as an example to all women who fall and then stand to be heard.

KLOVE December 22, 2008, 9:04 PM

TO SPEAK THE TRUTH, THAT’S HOW I GOT INTO A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP. BEEN TOGETHER 10 YEARS; KNOW EACH OTHER 5 YEARS AND I AM 32 YEARS OLD.I INTRODUCE MY GUY TO PORNO BECAUSE IT STIMULATES THE MIND TO CASUALLY ENTERTAIN YOUR PARTNER. SO ONE MAY CHASTISE WHAT I AM SAYING, SOMEONE MIGHT SAY THAT IT’S INSECURITY. BUT IT STIMULATES A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER FURTHER FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER. THEN, EXPLAIN TO HIM (COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY,ALSO)THEN EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT HE COULD GO OUT WITH STRIPPERS AND MAKE BABIES/WITH DISEASES; AND IT’S GOING TO HURT HIM IN HIS POCKETS IN THE END.(CHILD SUPPORT)HE WILL HAVE NO ONE. YOU GO KARRINE !!! REAL TALK

MrsBee December 27, 2008, 11:22 PM

Well let me say this at first i was behind Karrine 100% until i went 2 her website…ladies women know women and game knows game and i’ll give it 2 her she got game! yes i still go 2 her website but only 2 get the real deal on whats being said about her so I can blog about her a** it’s good for my website and blog :), if you R a real blogger and a real writer you can read between the lines. like the Bow Wow thing,she says she not going 2 comment on it but her Twitter icon was of his tat,she did a blog on her website called”The Bow Wow Blog” (you all should check it out),and she’s going to write another book, if her past is her past why is she still coming up with stuff like this 2 write about? All i can say is Bow Wow you R going 2 be all up in the next Book.But like i said women know women and game knows game!!!

Zen In California January 13, 2009, 12:44 AM

Ahhhh…..Hello!….THE ART OF ALLOWING!…ALLOW PEOPLE TO BE EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE!…Nothing, and I mean Nothing You can do will Change Another! Either, Love Him the Way He Was When You Met Him!….or…Leave Him Alone! Remember Ladies, when You are “Going Off” on Karrine or any other person, You are speaking through the filters of how You see and Feel about Yourself, the Men and Experiences YOU have had and the Sad Way You view and filter the World…Not the person as they are! In other words, You dislike Karrine not because of who She is or What She’s done…But, because of Who You are and What You’ve Done! Your Filter of the World is Dirty! Ladies, it’s very clear, because You commented not on the content of the words, but attacked the PERSON!(And You Don’t Know Her, only the creative way she has chosen to Market Herself and Her Books!)…Has She Become Your Enemy Because She Has Spoken the TRUTH!


vickie January 14, 2009, 1:11 AM

Okay I love Karrine so this response isn’t because of who wrote the article. You are absolutely right in my opinion when you say it isn’t about the wife, it is about the man she married and if he loves Her or Himself or not, mostly himself. There have been women who have adopted his way of thinking and it has either turned out okay, not okay, or she or he has had their heads turned by another. My thinking is that they were really not that into one another at that point in their lives. Isn’t that what marriage is about, giving up the outside influences? Two wrongs never make a right. Why marry just be roomies with benefits Don’t worry about the kids that come along you’re doing you’re own thing anyway right!

Georgia May 27, 2010, 12:14 PM

I’ve rarely encountered a fluffier, more information-free collection of words anywhere on the Internet. It’s like a jazz improvisation without music.

The author, who’s busy injecting her pop culture into us, should be congratulated on this accomplishment.


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