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Taking a Pal to "Friendship Court"

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Guest blogger Leslie Adler: Lisa from New York writes, "I want my day in court!!" Check out the details of part two in our series.

woman saying i need those stilettos and woman saying i need a job

"I lost my Wall Street job two months ago and have since been unable to find work. I brought in a substantial part of our household income and Jennifer (my supposed BFF) knew that. I am basically freaking out and wondering how my family is going to continue to make ends meet -- and Jennifer, while she does ask how I am doing and takes an interest in my job search, keeps telling me about her purchases (shoes and clothes and extravagant holiday gifts for her kids) and her upcoming holiday trip. I think she is being an insensitive jerk, but I am afraid if I say something, I will be the one that sounds jealous. As we say in New York, "Whaddya think?" Signed "Wall Street Wannabee"

Leslie Adler: I rule in favor of you Wall Street Wannabee, but I don't think that this is a punishable offense. Jennifer is being an insensitive jerk, but I am assuming, if she truly is your BFF, that she is acting without malice (if you don't believe that to be true, then you need a new friend!). Maybe Jennifer doesn't understand the gravity of your situation and is just going on as if it were "business as usual." My advice ... tell her the truth. I know, it's a radical idea, but it works. You should be able to tell a BFF that the loss of your job is causing you much anxiety and that even though you are happy that the state of our economy is not negatively impacting her, when she talks about purchases and vacations you cannot currently afford, she is stressing you out. A true BFF will understand. Here's hoping you find a job soon and thanks for Telling It To The Vuv at The Friendship Court!!

Tell us about a squabble or a split between you and a friend -- and let the Vuv decide!!

next: Delivery Room Confessions from Dads
2 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jane Schneider December 21, 2008, 10:32 PM

Perfect advice, Leslie!

Cassandra March 4, 2009, 7:38 PM

I doubt if your friend is trying to rub her purchases in your face. I am betting that as you have been friends for a long period of time and that when you lost your job it did not change her view of you and she therefore talks to you the same as she always has. She probably does not want to start treating you different so that you think she sees you differently now that you may be in a different social class.

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