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'The Nutcracker' is NOT for Kids!

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Guest blogger Brice: I loved seeing all the little girls dressed up at the ballet -- until I heard them whining during the second act.


"The Nutcracker" and children -- I get it. It's a time for little girls to pretend that they are ballerinas and get completely lost in a beautiful fairy land. As it was my first time seeing "The Nutcracker," I was eagerly anticipating watching a Russian ballet company perform the classic.

BUT -- and I am sure Tchaikovsky would agree -- his beautiful score was not complemented by your kids telling you that they need to go pee. After last night, I am firmly convinced of one thing: The ballet is NOT. FOR. CHILDREN. 

My Reasons (and please listen closely):
1. A ballet is usually about a two-and-half hour performance at night. Since you know your spawn are going to get cranky when they're up past their bedtime, why waste an $80 orchestra seat?? I'm sure that some dance lover in the mezzanine would love to take your place -- and those of us around you would love to be spared the extra noise.

2. Newsflash: Saying "shhhhhh!" really loudly doesn't help -- it only creates an auditorium full of other shushes, accompanied by giggles from the immature.

3. I know that you want to dress them up in their holiday outfits with the bows, dresses and kiddie tights. I hate to break it to you, but kiddie tights just make your girls uncomfortable, which (God forbid) leads to more whining. I know they don't make pantsuits for little girls, but you may want to reconsider their wardrobe before bringing them out in public.

4. If your kids are crying TAKE. THEM. OUTSIDE! Trying to soothe them as they're wailing isn't helping me enjoy the talent onstage. And you're ruining everyone else's experience too.

5. Last, but certainly not the least, letting your child attempt balletic moves while standing on auditorium seat is not only stupid, but dangerous. The last thing I would want to see is them falling and getting a "boo-boo," for the following reasons: 1. The crying would be louder than the musical score and 2. Blood doesn't usually come out of seat cushions. I would hate for some unsuspecting patron to sit on your child's blood stain during the next performance.

next: Caylee Anthony's Body Identified
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous December 19, 2008, 2:32 PM

I agree. If you want you kids to see the nutcracker, take them to a school performing it or a youth ballet. I am sick of payin 50 bucks to go to the opera or ballet just to hear some crappy kid scream over the good parts of Nessun Dorma. Get a freakin babysitter.

Anonymous December 19, 2008, 3:20 PM

wah wah wah…kids are apart of life everywhere you go..get some tolerance..and a life!

Uly December 19, 2008, 4:27 PM

Actually, I tend to agree. The kids and other patrons would be happier if they visited a children’s matinee of the Nutcracker (or any similar holiday performance) instead.

Mrs. R. December 19, 2008, 8:20 PM

Even as a parent, I can agree with this one. My mom and I just had a discussion about how we’d love to take my daughter to see a Nutcracker performance, but we’ll need to find a short kid-designed one under an hour during the day.

The Nutcracker is GORGEOUS and wonderful and totally wasted on a 4 year old, unless that child has some remarkable focus and attention capacity. The story is just too complex, and the show is too long.

I’m dying to enjoy it with my daughter someday, but I understand it might not be until she’s 10.

Anonymous December 19, 2008, 8:52 PM

I could have told u that

geen December 19, 2008, 9:35 PM

Thank you. A child crying during a $9 movie is bad enough, but an expensive ballet like the Nutcracker? No thanks.

Anonymous December 19, 2008, 10:04 PM

I will take 3 of my grandchrildren for th 4th time. Not all are ready or old enough. The enjoyment and memories are priceless. Courtisy and common sense make the Nutcraker a family joy at all ages.

lynndeedee December 20, 2008, 12:39 AM

A person refers to their own flesh and blood as “spawn”
…and we wonder why Casey murdered her daughter.

N December 20, 2008, 2:39 AM

I agree with her, even as a mother i would not take my daughter certain places, and shes still just a baby. the idea of her even wailing in a olive garden makes me cringe. Some parents need to learn kids just can’t go everywhere, you wouldn’ttake them to a chippendale’s performance would you, why a ballet.

Meg December 20, 2008, 8:13 AM

Ha Ha. I took my two year old to the oldest (and best) Nutcracker Ballet in the US. No local ballet for us. She loved it. Tickets were less than the local ballet and even in the cheap seats/nose bleed section ($18-20), I heard only two meltdowns.

Oh and it was a Friday matinee, family performance. If you don’t want kids the nutcracker, skip the matinees & family performances. OH, and this is how ballets make money so if you don’t want kids there, make a large donation to the company.

Oh and parents - every time my DD starts to meltdown, I tell her to put on her “ballet skirt” and she cheers up. Best xmas present I could ask for.

ashley December 20, 2008, 10:17 AM

I absolutely agree. I have 2 darling children-6 1/2 yr old boy and 18 month old girl. They will not be seeing the nutcracker for many many years. I saw it when I was I think 10 and that was perfect. I was taking ballet and was interested the whole time. I think that is a good age to start taking them. Unless your child is the most well behaved child ever. Last spring we went to see Horton Hears a Who and my daughter was 1. I wass still breastfeeding so I thought if she gets fussy I’ll just feed her, that always worked. Not this time, she wanted to go from mommy to daddy, back and forth. I vowed not to take her to a movie again til she was at least 5.

Kelly V. January 2, 2009, 3:43 PM

I agree Win. Though I’d love to take my children to view the arts, my children don’t work and make their own money, my children do not wait all month to view a performance they saved a portion of their salary for. In short, adults deserve to be able to enjoy an evening without whinning children.

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