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Take a Tour of the Inside of Mom's Car

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It's dirty and disgusting ... hop on in!

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Momlogic's Andrea: Before I had kids, I took pride in keeping my car clean. There was nothing I enjoyed more than driving my freshly scrubbed car out of the car wash. But I have to admit I've given up. Working full-time with a three-year-old daughter has pushed keeping my car tidy, um, even sanitary, very low on my priority list. Lower than replacing my holey underwear (OK, to be honest, pristine undergarments are even lower on the list).

Here are some of the unique experiences you'll have driving with me in my car if you dare take a ride in my car. Hop on in and let's check it out!

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THE SMELLS
When you first open the door of my car you're met with bouquet of scents wafting through the air. Mostly the smell of curdled milk, rotting fruit and poo. Crack a window and hold your breath ... you'll get used to it after a time.

THE FOOD AND DRINK
Thirsty? Help yourself to many of the half-drunk juice and chocolate milk boxes. Or have a snack from the buffet at your feet: A cornucopia of smashed goldfish crackers, chips and melted candies. Check under the seat for some discarded string cheese -- lovingly aged for two preschool semesters.

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SIGHTSEEING
Unfortunately you won't see much looking out my windows. My little girl's taken care of that. She's plastered them with stickers and, in a fit of dairy self-expression, smeared yogurt all over the glass.

ACTIVITIES
There's plenty to do and so much to look at: Broken toys, torn art projects, snotty Kleenex, empty coffee cups, doll clothes, a lone sock, barrettes, rubber bands, chewed-on straws, unused diapers ...

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The key word here is sticky. Everything in the car is sticky -- sticky from melted candy, from juice ricocheting out of freshly opened juice box straws and fruit leather dried to the seats. And If you like archaeological digs, get out a pick and dig your way through piles of sand tracked in from playgrounds and parks, rocks from our neighborhood, and shells and dried seaweed from the beach.

SOUVENIRS
Unless you travel around with a Dustbuster, it's pretty much guaranteed you're going to leave the car with souvenirs on your ass. And heck, you might even walk away with money! There's change hidden in crevices all over my car, but it's so crusty with old gum and grime, you'll be hard pressed to figure out the coin's value.

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OFF THE BEATEN TRACK
For those extreme adventure travelers, just take a peek in the back. We call it "No Man's Land." My toddler has tossed many items back there that I have never, ever seen again, mostly because I don't dare go back there.

Think your car is an adventure on wheels? Comment below!







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66 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous January 16, 2009, 1:10 PM

Is that a pee stain on the carseat?

Sandra January 16, 2009, 3:30 PM

I hear ya!
I only offer lifts to other mothers!

June January 16, 2009, 3:40 PM

Wow! That is funny. Bet that kid will rebel and be super neat!

me January 16, 2009, 7:20 PM

i forwarded this to my husband immediately after reading this as he hates getting into my car because it looks somewhat like yours (sadly mine was halfway there anyway before the daughter). while i laughed when i read this article here is what my darling husband replied: “The time she spent taking pictures could have been used to tidy things up :)”

he just doesn’t get it!

Western Lady January 19, 2009, 1:40 PM

So gross, and so funny and so true!

kerri February 4, 2009, 1:55 AM

HA! My friends who DON’T have kids think my car is the most disgusting place on earth, boy I CANNOT WAIT till they start having kids!

KateCake February 8, 2009, 11:47 AM

Dude, that’s SMALL TIME.

Harriet February 8, 2009, 11:50 AM

Call that dirty????????????? Mine look like that AFTER I have cleaned it, amatures!

Dnytlrgl June 26, 2009, 4:24 PM

oMFSYT comment3 ,

Norlin January 4, 2010, 12:10 AM

Hilarious! I can soo relate to this! It’s been too long since I wash/clean my car!

tia February 8, 2010, 7:27 PM

Haha and sigh. I still have popcorn on the floor of my car from a trip we took before the new year!

ema February 19, 2010, 6:45 PM

This is so realistic. I am sure that many mothers can relate with this.

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