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Abortion Saved My Life

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One mom says her decision to terminate her pregnancy years ago made her a better parent today.

Abortion rights supporters demonstrate in front of the U.S. Supreme Court
momlogic's Momstrosity: Today marks the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The landmark Supreme Court decision legalized abortion back in 1973. But back in 1985, as a 19-year-old college student, I wasn't really aware of the historic legal battle that allowed me to visit a Planned Parenthood and terminate my unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. All I knew at that time was that I was in no way prepared to be a parent.

Back then, I was living with my boyfriend and five other roommates in giant Victorian in San Francisco. The relationship with the boy was barely stable -- he had cheated on me a couple times -- and my sense of self was barely developed. I hadn't even declared a major at my college. I certainly wasn't using birth control. I was by all intents and purposes still a child. Even the responsibility of properly caring for a baby growing in my womb would've been too much for me. Adoption wouldn't have been an option, either. At that point in my life, I was more interested in going to parties, ditching class, and doing plenty of drinking and smoking. Not the best way nurture a pregnancy or a child. Then, many, many years later, I grew up. 

I waited until I was almost 40 to finally become a mother. And even with all the age and wisdom that comes with living four decades, parenting is still a huge challenge. I can't imagine how a mere teenager would be equipped to handle motherhood.

I often wonder what my life would've been like for me and that child who would be twenty-four years old by now. I am quite sure life would have been hard for both of us. Would that guy who was cheating on me have stuck around to help out? Doubtful. Would a 19-year-old with no marketable skills been able to support herself and baby alone? Probably not. I suppose I might've moved back home ... but, at the time, my parents and I weren't really on the best of terms. I certainly wouldn't have been able to complete my college education. Because I didn't have a child in my teens, I was able to graduate college, follow my dreams and travel the world. These are all life experiences I can pass on to my daughter today. For that, I am so grateful to have had the choice.

My previous abortion isn't something I am proud of, exactly, but I wouldn't change it for the world. If it wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't be married to my husband and I wouldn't be living the life I am now. Most importantly, I wouldn't have my beautiful 3-year-old daughter. Choosing to terminate a pregnancy over twenty years ago has made me treasure motherhood even more so today.

next: Parents, Your Stress is Making Your Kids Fat!
42 comments so far | Post a comment now
Car Hire Alicante April 19, 2011, 9:12 AM

Your insight view is usefule for our team. Thanks!

Jessica April 21, 2011, 11:44 AM

Abortion is a big controversy. I would not have an abortion but how could you argue and say that women should not have abortion. You have the right to do with your body as you please. Also sometimes you have to think about what is best for the unborn child. Even though there is adoption sometime people cant go through that. It is a crazy thing to say that a person is evil or not a fit mother for having a abortion. What if this girl is raped or what if she is a young girl whos parents make the choice for her. I am 16 and I dont agree with you people that sit there and judge people and tell people that it is so terrible for a women to have an abortion. Granted some women shouldnt get an abortion but abortion needs to stay around for thoughs who truly need. Im researching this for a school project and arguments that are just opions. Ya’ll are assholes who judge and need to get a life!!!!! Go and get the facts!

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