twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Are You An Insecure B*tch?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Happy New Year to all -- and for those with resolutions of physical or emotional betterment, Happy New You!

woman looking in the mirror

Guest Blogger Karrine Steffans: After getting some of you riled up with my past series of posts about porn and strippers, I realized how many of us are riddled and overwrought with insecurities, hate and spite.

We make resolutions to change our bodies and habits this time of year because we find fault in them. And though it seems natural to yearn for better and more, some of us have unhealthy and unrealistically stagnant views about our lives and ourselves. Some of us are self-loathers who wallow in our lack of physical and emotional currency and project our insecurities and inadequacies onto others in order to feel better about ourselves. Sometimes, it's a complete stranger and other times, it's those closest to us, our men even.

If this is you, your husband has either checked out or is on the verge. Men love confident, secure women with a purposeful sense of self and a complimentary spirit -- a woman who is so secure in herself that she possesses no loathing and cannot speak an ill word toward others.

Remember, the words you speak are a clear reflection of your soul and of your own happiness.

Keep your relationship strong or help save a dwindling romance by being kind and nonjudgmental toward others, yourself and your mate. Take pride in your life and body, establish and accomplish your goals and practice being an all-around better woman this year.

Get right with yourself -- and your man will follow suit.

All this and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, July 2009. Visit me at for more.

next: New Year's Resolutions Suck!
62 comments so far | Post a comment now
Kiesha January 9, 2009, 11:58 AM

Stupid woman.

Word! January 10, 2009, 12:31 AM

I am sure the wives and girlfriends of the men Karrine sleeps with are confident. Since she has spent most of her relationships aas the other women or home wrecker it is really hard to take any of this seriously. Untill this women is able to maintain her own relationships instead of being seen on the hood of her man’s car trying to break out the windows or the fact that one minute she married to that one dude (that wasn’t even a year ago she was shacked up with some dude) and another minute she married to some one else … I think her advice is skewed…and they should probably rename this site No Logic!

Delicious January 10, 2009, 12:08 PM

1st Schae AGREED!! Now although some of your words are interesting we (the people) want to know what made you an authority on these very sensitive matters of life? You do Not have any degrees which make your “thoughts” those of a professional! Now I realize you a a guest here @ momlogic, but I think you have mistaken here for your twitter! WORK ON YOURSELF!PEACE!

E.K. S. January 11, 2009, 11:10 PM

I believe in half of what you are stating. We also have to remember the fact that if you do not love yourself. I could you expect anyone else to love you. Sometimes, women go from relationship to relationship without giving themselves any type breathing room. As a person or individual you most know your own strengths and weaknesses. Not depending on a man to help you find the true woman you are, but finding it yourself. You have to love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Traci January 12, 2009, 3:10 PM

EVERYONE has insecurities it’s just a matter of recognizing and dealing with them in a productive and positive way that makes one person appear more confident than the other. Late at night, all alone, we all have our own monsters to deal with. We all are burdened by SOME societal pressures, emotional instabilities, fear of the unknown, unfulfilled dreams, haunting memories of the past. The key is to never turn on others or ourselves in the common human struggle for peace and well-being.

I also would hope that people would not write and promote their own dysfunctional methods of dealing with their issues as somehow worthy of glorification in comparison to other equally dysfunctional methods. Please be careful dear Karrine cause you are dangerously close to this. You are still a work-in-progress and I have watched from year to year and book to book your growth which I am happy for. However, it’s faaaaar to soon for you to stand on any kind of a high horse just yet. Be humble, be patient and give grace to others so that God may continually give grace to you and us all as we stumble and fall through this thing called LIFE.

Ha Ha January 13, 2009, 3:04 AM

I can assume these comments are fake or you don’t know who the hell Karrine Steffans is, if you did, she would be the LAST person you listen to.

She’s someone that is talked about and SHOULD BE talked about, lol, people are so easily fooled, Don’t you want to know what book she had on the NY times bestseller list, isn’t it weird they left that out.

go look it up, lol

Pink Monkey January 13, 2009, 9:30 AM

Regardless of her infamous past, we have to acknowledge truth when truth is spoken. Women tend to let their insecurities get the best of them and hate on the next chick because of completely irrelevant factors that may compete with their self esteem in opposition to acknowledging the greater good that the person is trying to promote.

Rae January 13, 2009, 12:50 PM

How can Karrine give advice to ANYBODY on what to do to keep a man when she is incapable of keeping a man herself??? Karrine is a pathological liar. She is now claiming that she is married, when SHE IS NOT! She is a pathetic and very immature person who fails to see that so many people see right through her antics.

There is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses not to strip or watch porn with her man. Different people have different levels of comfort and differing standards. People like Karrine have no standards at all. Men are running through her (still) like they would JFK airport. She is now lying about being married in order to bring more credibility to her BS tips on how to keep a man. Karrine, learn to keep a man yourself before you try to give others advice.

Anonymous January 13, 2009, 4:09 PM

OK like for real Karrine, I hear you but how can anyone take advice from someone that makes their living from spewing negativity out of their mouths most times, but then turn around and want to act like you are “eckhart tolle…you are a funny mofo!!!!!!

K"What" January 13, 2009, 7:46 PM

I’m pretty sure if Karrine didn’t want any comments; she won’t have posted a blog. But in that perspective a man can make me or break me. I feel it’s his lost if he choose to leave. I don’t live for any human being especially, a MAN. It’s what you make out of it, if you choose too. Make it work or not and be a leader not a follower. Some men ain’t worth a relationship.Don’t roll with the punches by comparing yourself to anyone. Don’t let anyone still your joy in life. Just read the advice and move on.

traceyluv January 15, 2009, 9:31 PM

WOW@ Schae…that’s interesting and I’m very glad that you spoke on it

Misha January 22, 2009, 6:35 PM

You have to be confident about yourself. Alot of women loose that when they have kids because their body begins to stretch in ways that we didn’t think they would. Alot of times that weight just doesn’t go away like you believe it should. But the only thing I can advise is to work out and eat right. And always, stay positive about you and love you. The MEN will love and respect you as well. ALL women need love as well.

Anonymous January 23, 2009, 7:29 PM

the words we speak sometime are not a clear reflection of who we are.i find it funny that you are and expert or even can give any opinins on insecurities being that you are insecure yourself im not talking about your past im talking about your present like having sex with lil wayne it speaks for itself

Hazel January 24, 2009, 9:17 AM

Karrine, hate to break it to you….but just because you have had a whole slew of men between you legs does NOT make you a sex therapist or relationship counselor. Your actions speak volumes; your actions show that you use sex to keep men interested. Do you really call that demonstrating self-worth and confidence? When you can find AND keep a man of YOUR OWN, then maybe your words would be valid. But until then, holla!

kesha c January 30, 2009, 2:32 AM

what if your hubby is always saying how ot kim kardashian, or kate beckensale are and how if he ever got famous he would bang them??

Carson22Monica June 4, 2010, 1:06 PM

This is understandable that cash makes us free. But how to act if someone does not have money? The only one way is to get the home loans and bank loan.

Fashion Design October 12, 2010, 5:40 PM

I enjoy this post, I’ve passed this alongside to my coworkers within the fashion marketplace.

Merchant Services December 21, 2010, 9:22 PM

I’m currently working on a forum to house all industry professionals under one roof and to provide an area where we can grow together.

Dorian Viale January 23, 2011, 8:12 PM

Thank you for this article! However, I had a problem viewing this post in IE 6. Just wished to provide that to your attention! Many thanks. May 26, 2011, 3:27 AM

Are_you_an_insecure_bitch.. Retweeted it :)

Back to top >>