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Before You Go "Down There," Read This!

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: Recently, I realized that many of my girlfriends are still having a difficult time coming to grips with the gift of oral sex ... that is, when they are not the ones on the receiving end of the gifting!

Woman laughing

Some men could care less and have no or little need for oral copulation -- and if this is your husband, congratulations, girl! However, more often than not, giving and receiving oral sex is a large part of a couple's sexual relationship and often times, for women, the most unpleasant.

If the slobbing of the knob is a big deal to your hubby, you owe it to him, yourself and to your marriage to at least give it an honest, wholehearted try.

After all, a man will either marry a woman who wants to have sex with him or cheat on his wife with one.

Pick a side, ladies, and if you are determined to give your husband what he wants and needs from you, prepare to prepare the penis and its surrounding areas.

The fact is, penises are not the prettiest or best-smelling things in the world, sometimes, and our men may need a little help with their manscaping, among other things ... like not gagging us half to death with the hair down there! Introduce him to the products and rituals that can help you be at ease down south and, soon, he'll like it too!

Trimming, waxing, wipes, powder and alcohol-free scented products are a great start. Let your mate know that there is nothing feminine about taking extra special care of his special place, but also, please let him know it's not so special right after he finishes playing ball with the boys! Ugh!

All this and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, which hits stores July 13th. Preorder now and receive any time after June 24th.  Visit Karrine.com for more.


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66 comments so far | Post a comment now
Ms_Thai January 13, 2009, 6:43 PM

Ms. Steffans:
When you’re, right you’re right!



LolaSmile January 13, 2009, 6:47 PM

This is keep your man 101. Looks like I’m going to have to wait for your advanced honors book. This one is for beginners.

Dazelle Yvette January 13, 2009, 6:54 PM

1st I gotta say no pun intended with the title(giggling inside). Now, I have to say keeping a man is more of a chore than landing him. Men tend to get bored easily. If you want to keep him and what he asks for isn’t insanely unforeseeable then go fore it. Slob on ‘ole Billy Bob! Fellas please please keep it fresh you never you know, your girl might wanna do a freaky deaky drive-by… getting a little head in the middle of the day never hurt anyone huh!

Nikki Wadley January 13, 2009, 7:06 PM

You hit the nail on the ‘head’ with this one! Men want us to keep it clean so they should do the same.

Schae January 13, 2009, 7:06 PM

EACH AND EVERY SINGLE BLOG FROM KARRINE IS ABOUT SEX. THERE IS NO LOBE THERE AND FOR THE OBVIOUS REASONS. I THINK ITS SAD TO FURTHER THE IDEA THAT WOMEN ARE SEX OBJECTS. I DO BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN SHOULD PLEASE *HER OWN* MAN AND HE SHOULD PLEASE HER AS WELL BUT A WOMAN HAS TO HAVE STANDARDS. IF *YOUR MAN* WANTS TO INCORPORATE OTHER WOMEN/MEN,DRUGS, ANIMALS OR MINORS SHOULD YOU SUBMIT FOR FEAR THAT YOU MIGHT LOSE HIM TO THE NEXT CHIC THAT WILL ALLOW ANYTHING? I.E. THE KARRINES OF THE WORLD. THIS IS JUST ONE WOMANS LOGIC. NOT A MOMS LOGIC. IM TIRED OF HER POSTS AND THE REASON I COME HERE IS BECAUSE ITS POLLUTION IN THE MINDS OF WEAKER WOMEN. IF UR AGREEING WITH CERTAIN THINGS SHE SAYS, U HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO…BUT IF UR JUST A FOLLOWER OF HER CREED, U NEED TO GROW UP AND NOT BE A FOLLOWER. OBVIOUS THIS FEMALE CAN ONLY OFFER ADVICE IN THE SEX DEPT AND THATS ONE BOOK THAT I WILL *NOT* BE READING.

shawty January 13, 2009, 7:14 PM

Right on, Karrine!!! If a woman wants to keep her relationship happy and strong…it takes work. And as for the other nay sayers, YES this is MOMLOGIC, but however, your sex life is also an important factor on you’re life as well. You bust a great nut, and you’re an energetic and chirpy Mom that the kids will love to be around….LOL funny, but very true! Do ya thang Karrine

Anna B January 13, 2009, 7:28 PM

Wow, this is really a disappointing post. I happen to love giving oral sex to my partner and it would never occur to me to “congratulate” a woman who doesn’t have this “chore.”

It’s something my partner loves, it’s very intimate, and I adore this very special part of our relationship. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

There’s nothing wrong with pointing out that it’s okay to ask your partner to “manscape” a bit, but was it really necessary to frame this information in such a negative way?

Candygirl January 13, 2009, 8:01 PM

That’s right KS. There is always a woman willing to do what you won’t do. I regret having hangups over oral but as I get older, I have come to appreciate it and during times of the month where I can’t have sex, oral sex is a good substitute.

Ebony Mystique January 13, 2009, 8:08 PM

@Schae…I think the reason Ms. Steffans addresses sex in her posts is not because she is a sex object, but because that is probably the nature of advice other women seek from her. If sex within the confines of a monogamous relationship becomes monotonous, then the monogamy is in jeopardy, and alot of women are too busy worrying about being percieved a certain way, or thumbing their noses at the so-called “Karrines” of the world to learn how to please their man!! It should go without saying that Ms. Steffans is advising that you respect and satisfy your man that is working hard to please YOU! She’s not advising that you trollop around. It takes a strong woman to be all that her man needs and wants her to be in public and private Ms. Shae, not a “weak” chic (sic) that will “allow anything”.

Erica January 13, 2009, 9:12 PM

Are there ever any posts about what a man should do to keep his woman happy. Aren’t relationships suppose to be 50/50. Judging from this post and all previous posts it appears that women should do damn near everything their man wants them to do to “keep” them. But what I’ve come to realize is that men will do them no matter how much you submit to their needs. You can be the baddest chic, educated, freaky as hell..and whatever else, but if they want to creep then that is what they are going to do..its not about you not doing what they want, its about them wanting something different. How many of you have had a man and did everything he man wanted sexually and it still didnt work out…my point exactly..but I mean to each his own—-I put alot into my relationship, but I expect alot was well. My grandmother always told me, marry a man that loves you more than you love him! And while its good to make your man feel like he is the king of the castle, he MUST also realize that you are the Queen. You have to stimulate each other not only sexually, put mentally and emotionally. Good Luck!

Selena  January 13, 2009, 9:31 PM

@ Schae This is the LOVE & SEX section and Karrine’s last post was NOT about sex but about insecurities, which you obviously have many. AND her new book is all about love sex and relationships so OBVIOUSLY this is a precursor to that. You’re obviously obsessed with her cuz you follow her on Twitter, read all her blogs, ONLY to hate. How does this help you in your life?

Schae January 13, 2009, 9:44 PM

@SELENA I THINK U HAVE SOME BROWN ON UR NOSE SWEETIE BCZ U OBVIOUSLY LACK THE SAVVY TO GO HEAD TO HEAD WITH ME. FOR U TO ASSUMEI HAVE INSECURITIES IS JUST A WAY TO FURTHER UR UNSUBSTANTIATED OPINION. AND IN ADDITION TO THAT IM NOT JUST REFERRING TO THIS BLOG…IM TALKIN ABOUT EVERY INTERVIEW. FURTHERMORE **ALL** OF HER BOOKS HAVE BEEN ABOUT SEX, HER VERSION OF LOVE, AND HER IDEA OF RELATIONSHIPS. ALSO SELENA, “HATE” IT SO JUVENILE AND SO FIVE MINUTES AGO. GET GROWN & THINK ON UR OWN…BCZ A WOMAN WITH HER OWN OPINION HARDLY QUALIFIES AS HATE

LolaSmile January 13, 2009, 9:47 PM


THIS IS KEEP YOUR MAN 101.

I MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE ADVANCED HONORS EDITION OF THE BOOK COMES OUT. THIS ONE SEEMS TO BE FOR BEGINNERS.

STILL, MUCH LUV!

Schae January 13, 2009, 10:00 PM

PART 2****
would u be happy if ur son brought home karrine steffans. Yes superhead…yes amateur porn, yes slept with a quite a few musicians, actors, rappers, singers, athletes, women, drugs, suicide attempts, child abandonment, oh and best selling author die to the fact that people were so damn curious to see what celebs would be exposed. Well ok she reformed now…BUT still…most PEOPLE see her as a sex object and as long as she STAYS in this field that is how she will ALWAYS be seen

Licia January 13, 2009, 10:44 PM
Symeerah January 13, 2009, 10:47 PM

Right on karrine! I like you and the advice you give to all and everyone whom accepts it. Good luck cant wait until July 13th.

Stacy January 13, 2009, 11:33 PM


@Lola I agree.

Karrine, when are you coming out with the big girls guide? This manual is looking like it might be elementary (Not that a lot of women don’t need that). It may not be fair to judge by just this passage, but its looking amateurish.

I understand. You have to start with the basics… and keep the books coming lol. I got it. I’ll just be holding out for the next level.

LADY T January 14, 2009, 11:25 AM

Why do people take this stuff 2 heart. She gives good advice. U don’t have 2 read anything she write. Life is not that deep. Karrine thank u for being u. Love ALL of ur work…:))

MissyK January 14, 2009, 3:55 PM

I definitely believe that a man should take care of their hair down there, just like women do! Its all about giving and receiving and I think sometimes women do more of the grooming down there than the men. I use bettybeauty pubic hair dye for fun in the bedroom and it occured to me and my husband that he could use it too! Not only has it given us a laugh it has also made things a lot more interesting! I later read in the New York Post that P. Diddy uses it…so maybe the men are catching on…

causticmama January 14, 2009, 5:03 PM

I like to please my man, but resent the idea behind this girl’s articles- that I’m I’m not perfect every second of every day, then my man will start f-ing other women. Of course it is a good idea to give BJs, but the idea that if I don’t do it every day that he’s going to cheat on me makes me really neurotic. Stop scaring the crap out of me and just give me advice on how to give a *better* BJ! damn.


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