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Before You Go "Down There," Read This!

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Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: Recently, I realized that many of my girlfriends are still having a difficult time coming to grips with the gift of oral sex ... that is, when they are not the ones on the receiving end of the gifting!

Woman laughing

Some men could care less and have no or little need for oral copulation -- and if this is your husband, congratulations, girl! However, more often than not, giving and receiving oral sex is a large part of a couple's sexual relationship and often times, for women, the most unpleasant.

If the slobbing of the knob is a big deal to your hubby, you owe it to him, yourself and to your marriage to at least give it an honest, wholehearted try.

After all, a man will either marry a woman who wants to have sex with him or cheat on his wife with one.

Pick a side, ladies, and if you are determined to give your husband what he wants and needs from you, prepare to prepare the penis and its surrounding areas.

The fact is, penises are not the prettiest or best-smelling things in the world, sometimes, and our men may need a little help with their manscaping, among other things ... like not gagging us half to death with the hair down there! Introduce him to the products and rituals that can help you be at ease down south and, soon, he'll like it too!

Trimming, waxing, wipes, powder and alcohol-free scented products are a great start. Let your mate know that there is nothing feminine about taking extra special care of his special place, but also, please let him know it's not so special right after he finishes playing ball with the boys! Ugh!

All this and more can be found in The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want, which hits stores July 13th. Preorder now and receive any time after June 24th.  Visit for more.

next: Psychic Could Be Dominic Casey's Alibi
66 comments so far | Post a comment now
cheryl  January 17, 2009, 2:30 PM

sorry, I know I’m young but ‘we owe it to the guy to give it a wholehearted try’? Should the same be said about intercourse? Do you think that there’s a reason for what we feel and why we hesitate?

"The Truth Sayer" January 18, 2009, 1:45 PM

This is all just another cry for attention. Who gives a crap about Karrine’s advice. I do well on my own and you all would too if you would be spending more of your spare time and creative energy tending to your partner instead of kissing Karrine’s a** because that’s all she wants anyway and you’re giving it to her. Do you honestly think she cares anything about any of you? No, best believe this still all loops around to helping her to further her back gliding fame. She is all for self and her advice is nothing more than any of you already knew, so now you Karrine a** kissers want to act like she has explained the 8th wonder of the world? Please, wake up. An abundance of a** kissers. She doesn’t have to put me on her sh*t list and don’t get it twisted, she’s not on mine, I don’t “Hate” as some of you say on people I don’t know. I just call them as I see them. That’s what your idol Karrine does right? So no one should have a problem with a perfect stranger doing exactly what she stresses on her own platform. Remember “I Am The Truth Sayer” well that’s the truth about her. By the way, if you’re an a** kisser, don’t respond to this in her defense it only puts into a bigger arena of a** kissers. Thanks, Bye.

tee walk January 18, 2009, 1:55 PM

Now i dont want to hear anything else about respecting yourself anf turning your life around when all you can do is talk about sex and head….disrespecting yourself more than a man can disrespect embrace the image you have …belive me gving head is not he only way to satisfy a man..but hten again you would’nt know because you’ve never trried anything else…directed to ms stepahns..get a grip girl.

The Truth Sayer January 18, 2009, 2:05 PM

Karrine you ought to be ashamed of yourself, got these young girls on here getting this kind of advice and they’ve barely just started having sex.

Anonymous January 18, 2009, 8:08 PM

I’m a dude and I clicked on this out of curiosity. I expected that you’d be giving women advice on specific techniques.
I was rather disappointed in the tone of the article. Is it REALLY such a chore to give us BJ’s? That sucks ( pun intended) to hear. :-(
I want my woman to love sucking me off the same way I love going down on her. And, I’ve found that is the difference between a good BJ and a lousy one. If she wants to be there or not.

Latasha January 18, 2009, 11:17 PM


tn_femme January 19, 2009, 9:29 AM

I see that a lot of you are getting off subject. Karrine’s past is irrelevent. Get over it! The only reason you know is bc she decided to let you know. All of you are being judgemental when you know many of you did some of the same things when you were younger. Stop acting so self righteous. Karrine is speaking the truth whether you want to admit it or not. I am a lesbian so I don’t “slob on knobs”, but being a lesbian means I get to hear the guys’ point of view. I often get included in their conversations. Guess why the tend to stray…its because the “fire” has gone from their relationships. Sex and love go hand in hand in relationships. The men are still in love and probably won’t leave you, but best believe they are getting theirs on the side to balance things. There are plenty of women out there that know their roles and are more than willingly to just be your man’s “jump off.” Learn it, love it, accept it, whatever. It is what it is. Karrine’s blogs are exactly right. Try being their wife, lover, and friend. That’s the way to keep your man.

bonniet January 19, 2009, 2:04 PM

Directed to “-tn_femme:
Karrine’s past would be irrelevant if it were actually her PAST! Honey she is clearly still living her same ole raggedy lifestyle…Trust. Let me refresh your memory that not even 6 months ago she was dumped, and now she is trying to make people think that she is pregnant, that she is involved with Bow Wow, and rockin this different ring as if somebody done wifed her up again. She lives in a fantasy world. I’m not going to take anything from her professionally, but her personal life that she chose to make PUBLIC is a HOTT MESS!!! She could use a lot of prayer and therapy!!! Keep it real yall…you know i’m right! LOL

Gina January 19, 2009, 3:00 PM

My relationship has been shaky for a while, we love each other deeply but I know my husband tries his hardest because I give the best BJ of his life.

pretty brown eyes January 20, 2009, 3:04 PM

I respect Karrine. stop hatin on this woman. we all have trials and tribulation we go through. i have had 20 sex partners. none wealthy or famous. but i consider my self a ho @ 30 bcuz im not married. we all need to look in the mirror b4 we judge others

BabyGirl January 20, 2009, 8:17 PM

I just recently started reading your books. I finished Confessions in two days. I started Diaries and plan on finishing it and pre-ordering your next book! Dont worry about what people say about your books— it’s your life, not theirs!

Susana January 21, 2009, 4:39 PM

This is so true… And may I add dont even attempt this unless your open minded and willing to have fun.. this silly stuff when doing that can sometimes be the sexiest!

leslie January 21, 2009, 8:58 PM

Oral sex is great. My man takes care of me with oral and i take great pleasure in giving him head. Most of the time we have oral. i guess it’s what your into.

Misha January 22, 2009, 6:26 PM

Ok, oral sex is not as bad as it seems. I remember being in school and alot of girls would deny doing it but behind doors they would do it. Everyone is an adult and they should be able to do it.

Now, men don’t have the best smelling area down there due to them moving around and sweating all day, but the same goes for women. So the best thing to do is advise your man on how to keep it fresh down there. It doesn’t necessary to keep it smelling like roses but it needs to be fresh.

VirtuousD February 6, 2009, 1:52 PM

@Schae…Your “elite” dis-approval of Ms. Steffans has been heard loud and clear. Your redundant statements are very cliche’ and it seems that you have a very “lust-less” life..
If you do not like the posts , please stop reading them. They are fun and informative…Please get a life!!!

jerseygurl February 7, 2009, 10:48 AM

Dear Karrine,
I really enjoy your Blogs, and agree completely

You have to want to please your man.
I did a little experiment myself and encourage the ladies here to try it for themselves!!!

I made it a point to start seducing my man again . I started dressing up at home , putting on make up around the house and even bought a few risque
( borderline trashy lingerie lol)

Long story short Ladies , my man was all too happy.
He said I dont know whats gotten into you but

Its like it was when we first met and we couldn’t be happier.

Sometimes we as woman get caught up with the kids , work, etc that we forget what’s important . The relationship you have with your spouse or significant other !!!!

DISCLAIMER: Im not suggesting nor do I think Karrine is trying to please as man who you know good and darn well is Unworthy

Im pre-ordering Karrines New book “how to keep your man”

There’s nothing wrong with learning and wanting to make A Good Man Happy !

Justice February 21, 2009, 11:40 PM

@Schae- I believe that women like you are the reason that Karrine Steffans won’t be able to change her image. Because she chose to tell her life story and though it did have a lot of horrible moments she told it to help save someone else’s child. She didn’t want young girls to think that being a video girl was a way to live your life. There are a lot of young girls who’s main purpose is to get in someone’s video so they can make it big, not knowing what all happens behind the scene. Most of her blogs and columns are in response to what others are asking her. Is it any different from one of your girlfriends asking you about sex??? Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes!

Anonymous March 1, 2009, 10:54 PM

I agree with you Karrine. I enjoy oral sex with my mate. Happy to say that the men I have dated had no problems with keeping that area down there shaved and smelling good. That made it even better to give it. A man that is in tunned with his body has no problem shaving down there. Beside pubic hair does smell with sweat. That is why we keep it shaved ladies. A man with a hairy pubic are is a complete turn off to me.

Joyce March 5, 2009, 8:32 PM

I agree with erica. It seems everytime i read an article these days concerning male & female relations it’s always talking about “How to please the man” or “101 ways to please a man” .. ladies give me a frickin’ break ! It is utterly ridiculous how women have to sometimes “jump through hoops” to “give your all” to your man and most times get only a fraction or nothing in return.

FIFTY March 6, 2009, 6:38 PM

@schae…Point blank you just are ingnorent.. and you have no life assuming.that you have to comment in such a negative way! GUESS wat you are not making the money that she is. and at the end of the day you know what you are a HATER!! please where a shirt that says HI HATER!! BECAUSE THATS JUST WHAT U ARE! AND IF WE COMMENT OR DONT COMMENT ON ANY BLOG YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING SHE STILL MAKING HER MONEY. INGNORANCE!!!

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