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Why Kill the Whole Family?

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211,500 jobs have been lost this month ... but that's no reason to end it all.

Lupoe Family

Ervin Antonio Lupoe and his wife Ana lost their jobs two days ago, and today they're both dead, along with their five children. Yesterday morning, the LAPD walked into the the grizzly murder-suicide scene. Before Lupoe killed his whole family and took his own life, he called 911 to say he just got home and found the family dead and then faxed a letter to a local news station.

Ervin and Ana are former employees of Kaiser Permanente West Los Angeles Medical Center. In a letter Lupoe wrote to a local news agency, he said, "My wife felt it better to end our lives and why leave our children in someone else's hands."

How can a mom and dad be pushed to the point of killing their whole family? Rabbi Sherre Hirsch, author of "We Plan, God Laughs: Ten Steps to Finding Your Divine Path When Life is Not Turning Out Like You Wanted," says that sort of financial pressure and strain can sometimes feel like too much to bear.

"This is a wakeup call to how important it is to have those difficult conversations about finances," she says. "A lot of people have come to me for counseling who are greatly stressed by money. After all, money problems are the leading cause of divorce in this country. In an economic strain, people often lose perspective. They think something like foreclosure or losing a job is a life-or-death situation, when it doesn't have to be. That's why talking to someone else is crucial, to help you regain perspective."

If you can't bring yourself to talk to your spouse, Hirsch recommends starting out by talking to a counselor or clergy member, friend, or financial advisor. "This will help remind you that you're not alone," she says. "Millions of Americans are in the same boat you are. Even if you lose your house, you still have your family. Your husband and your kids -- that's home. In the end, that's all that really matters."

Why do you think these parents chose to end it all?

next: Arrest Order Issued for Former NBA Player Jason Caffey
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
bernadette rodin January 28, 2009, 12:23 PM

How so sad…Those poor parents..

Nikki January 28, 2009, 12:49 PM

Those poor parents?!?! Those poor KIDS- they didn’t deserve to die like that. If their parents couldn’t handle their responsibilities, they should have allowed someone else to- not kill the whole family.

Cin January 28, 2009, 2:18 PM

I don’t know how sick, hopeless, or desperate you have to be to stare into your young childrens’ crying eyes and shoot them…

Michelle January 28, 2009, 8:29 PM

this is just sad. I mean the economy is killing people.

Deborah January 28, 2009, 8:56 PM

I think this story is real sad. People have to know that no house, job or money problems is worth losing your life over. You WILL get by on a lot less than you think. Get help when you feel this way!!! It is happening way too much now.

MARY January 28, 2009, 11:07 PM


Anh-Chi Huynh January 29, 2009, 1:36 AM

This is the most bizarre story I’ve ever read. I can’t fathom why anyone would doing such a horrible deed. Wow…

Margaret January 29, 2009, 1:37 AM

My heart hurts over this situation. I pray that these beautiful children are in God’s hands now and that healing comes to those who knew and have lost this family. I also hope this is a terrible warning of what not to do to any of the many other families across the US right now facing the same challanges.

Michael January 29, 2009, 4:49 PM

The financial pressure and strain are only a fraction of the total pain picture associated with the stigma of being the pariah that is the “unemployed dad”. There is no worse feeling than the inability to support your family, it is an affront at the genetic level. What these men have done is disgusting and wrong, but the understanding of the emotional devastation of employment loss to a father needs to be better understood if we want to move beyond acts like this.

Teresa Arnwine January 29, 2009, 10:13 PM

I have experienced this in my life, with five children at the time. It was frightening and my husband was extremely depressed. Faith in God and our christian friends in their support and help was a lot of the reason we made it, we did give up all our material things and that was hard but not to the point of hopelessness. Things are better and we are stronger because of it. I think a support system is so important as well, along with a strong faith in God.

daisy January 30, 2009, 12:27 AM

i think the are lack of faith in GOD….

Mom of Four January 30, 2009, 12:28 PM

You are right daisy…I think the same way also…lack of faith in GOD. See, our situation is much much worst. There are 6 of us. We only live in one room, My oldest sleeps on his own mattress on the floor then we have a queen size bed, on the floor, where me, my husband and our other three kids are sleeping. We are like sardines! Imagine that. My husband couldn’t get a stable job because of a ruthless company that he used to work for…They have been putting dirt on my husband’s name..up to now. We’ve been in this sitution for more than 5 years now…but with the help of GOD, we are able to get by. Does this situation bother us? Yes, very well yes. But we cannot do anything that is beyond our power. Only the Man upstairs knows what is in store for us. He will give it to us in His due time. We have done everything we can do, husband still applying for jobs, he will only get up to the interview part..but won’t end up getting hired..So everything, anything that is beyond our control..we gave it all to Him. HE knows better than us. But we NEVER think about taking our own lives. That is a sin! When you commit suicide, that is an instant hell. And suicidal people think that if they kill themselves, the hurt will end there…big’s going to be forever. All you have to do is if you feel depressed, like there is no hope anymore, you pray. Cast your burdens upon Him…He will surely give you rest. As long as you have faith, everything will be alright.

That is why when I heard about the Lupoe family, I can’t stop thinking about them. I pray that the children are in the hands of God. May all of them rest in peace.

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