Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
PiscesF*** You Ma!
Guest blogger Nancy: School mornings are generally the same ole routine with my tween son. Not so today. My little angel threw me a knuckle ball in the form of two letters F and U. Right after I got on his case about missing homework, my eleven-year-old son left for the bus uttering f*** you as calm as a cucumber.
He even said it with impeccable enunciation and locked eyes with me confidently as he said it. Surprisingly, my first reaction was to laugh inside. His little brother's reaction while eating a bowl of cereal was even funnier: "Where did he learn that?"
What comes around goes around. When I was 15 years old, I uttered those same two words to my own mother. She wouldn't let me go out with friends, so I looked her square in the eye and yelled "F*** you!!" in true girlie girl teen drama fashion ... screaming it at the top of my lungs over and over again. After a split second of shock on my mom's part, she screamed back at me, kicked me in the shin and went straight to her room. I had a welt that throbbed, I didn't blame her for it and I certainly never did that again.
I admit I initially I wanted to chase him out the door, wrestle him to the ground and beat the crap out of him for all the kids at the bus stop to see. Within seconds, I realized I would be jailed -- he is reaching puberty and testing boundaries just as I was years ago. I chuckled reliving it as I drove to work. In fact, I laughed out loud for a few miles. I couldn't believe I wasn't angry or upset at this random act of f-ness!
It didn't take long for my profanity peanut to come to his senses. Within hours, the school called. The little guy felt awful about what he said. He took it upon himself to go to the guidance counselor and fess up word for word. It felt like an R-rated episode of Charlie Brown. This made me grateful I didn't beat him up at the bus stop. He realized his mistake without me having to tell him. He independently learned right from wrong on his own -- and for that I was grateful.
We never move forward in life without making mistakes. Those mistakes can come in the form of actions or words like f*** you, but they are there to teach valuable lessons in life. When I came home from work, we had the best heart-to-heart talk. I told him about my first time testing this boundary with my own mother and he couldn't believe Grammy was a "kicker"!
Somewhere along the line, you may find yourself in the same situation with your son or daughter. We are guilty of this ourselves -- and our children are no exception. Sit back, marvel at their gusto and wait ... wait for them to realize the error of their ways. I guarantee "f*** you" will turn into "Love You" in less than 24 hours if you respond with silence and a little laughter.
Has this happened to any of you? Please tell me I'm not the only one raising an F-Bomb dropper!
- share:
-
-
-
more:
- |
- 16 Comments
I’m going to say it, I really don’t think I could have taken it as well as you. I probably would have at least thrown a snowball at him….
I haven’t ever spoken to my son like that, and I expect the same in return. If he ever said “F-you” to me, there would be consequences, apology or not.
Mistakes are made, but disrespect in that form is absolutely unacceptable from EITHER of us. Bottom line.
I work with teens and it amazes me how some of the boys speak to their mothers, and then turn around and have the same disdain for any female authority-going as far as muttering “F-you” to their teachers in front of whole classrooms.
if you haven’t already read How to win friends and influence people. Everyone “wants” something , the boy above wanted something someone wasn’t giving him or at least an outlet similar to the thing he wanted. my 2 cents
Age 11? You mean I have 7 more years till my little angel is telling me to Fork off? Awww geez, this dad is just gonna start drinking more
Excellent! I am laughing to myself over here.
You are so right…testing limits. Disrespectful, yes…but what a great kid to come to that on his own and apologize. I’m proud for you!
I don’t know how I will react given the same situation but I’m sure glad I read your article!
Thank you for sharing.
I pretty sure Jennifer (15) hasn’t said the F word to my face. Tho “duh” is beginning to grate.
That’s priceless and congrats on keeping your cool. The first dirty word I said in front of my mom was Damn. I was 18, she cried big crocodile tears. She is a bit of a prude.
I was young the first time I cussed (setting the stage for all of my ladylike behaviors later in life?) - and my mom washed my mouth out with a Dove bar. She cried more than I did.
That taught her!! ;)
Oh my…. There was a time that I would put a squirt of antibacterial soap in my child’s mouth for that, but I think that is considered child abuse now. EEEkkk. What would I do?
I think you handled it great… and kudos to him for going to a counselor at school to talk about the incident.
And to those of you in the “my child would NEVER” camp. Good for you. I wonder what your kiddos do when they are stressed or mad. All children/families are different. But all of them have their positives and negatives. Try on someone elses shoes sometime.
I know a couple moms that use vinegar instead of soap for younger ones…tangent. I cussed, but cussing and cussing at your Mom are two very different things.
wow congrats on keeping it cool! oh man i dont know what i would have done! Probably something super dramatic like fainted and cried “my son! he hates me! look what ive raised!”. You’re right about the boundary pushing, when i was that age i wanted to scream that so bad in my moms face, but i knew i wouldnt have lived another day.
I guess the question I have is what would the consequences have been if it hadn’t turned out this way where he admitted his own mistake? It’s easy to pat yourself on the back now for your relative lack of calm reaction (and being calm is very good), but would you have addressed the disrespect and inappropriateness of this activity later on? How would that have gone? What was your “Plan B” to keep this situation from turning into a slippery slope of irreverent behavior?
Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nonetheless I’m experiencing situation with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting equivalent rss problem? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
My 11yr old son would never say that to me. He may question me and get frustrated, but he knows better than to disrespect me in that manner. Not to mention that he knows he would be grounded and he hates that.