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How Much Are Octuplets Worth?

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How much is having a litter of children worth these days? Or, in other words, how much free sh** are the California octuplets going to get over the next three years? What do you think?

Eight babies

Radical Mommy: According to the USDA , in 2007 the average cost of raising child through the age of 17 was $204,060. Using that math, it that means that it will cost a minimum of $1,632,480 to raise the octuplets born Monday in California.

If other multiple births are anything to go by, the parents (I'm just assuming there are two) will be besieged by gifts, donations and offers to make their lives easier and take some of the financial burden off them. How nice.

So exactly how much is having a litter of children worth these days -- or, in other words, how much free sh** are they going to get over the next three years?

It's safe to say that some do-gooders will decide that the tiny apartment or house the family will return to when they leave the hospital is too small (based on past multiple births the parents normally live in places too small for their brood) so they will build, donate or whatever it is they do a gigantic brand-new home to them.

Since there are at least eight children in the family now (there could be other siblings, who knows), then they'll need a BIG house, with lots of room, and a yard for the kids to play. Let's be conservative and say the house is only 3,500 ft -- in California that will cost A MINIMUM of $1,000,000. Ka-ching!
Total = $1,000,000

Since they have a big new house, they are going to need furniture as well as the electronics, appliances, bedding etc ... Of course, all of that will also be donated to the tune of (I'm guessing) about $50,000. Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
Total = $1,050,000

This family will also need LOTS and LOTS of diapers and, if my experience with my son serves as an example, they'll probably use a minimum of seven diapers a day per child. Multiply that by eight poopy bottoms and this brood will be using at least 56 diapers a day. In case you're wondering, that's about $20 a day in diapers and $3 per day in wipes -- for a whopping, total cost of $8372 per year and about $26,000 for the three-year period they will most likely be wearing some sort of diapers. Now I'm sure that some generous diaper company will come along and "sponsor" the family. Ka-ching!
Total = $1,076,000

In 2007, according to the USDA, clothing cost for children 0-3 (with parents whose income is less than $48,500 a year) ran about $340 per year. Do the math, and over three years the eight niblets will need approximately $8160 (let's round it up to $10,000) worth of duds. No doubt a clothing company will come along and donate clothing to the kids. Ka-ching!
Total = $1,086,000

Food (nearly $10,000 over three years for eight kids), volunteer labor to help look after the kiddies ($12/hour if you were paying a nanny -- but who would watch eight kids for that?), and most likely health care (as it's possible that some of these children might have medical problems that require assistance or some sort of therapy) will ALL be donated from a variety of different companies and individuals. Potential cost approximately $100,000. Ka-ching!
Total = $1,186,000

Let's not forget the brand-new, 12-passenger van that some generous car company will donate. After all, you have to have something to haul those little ones about in. Cost $35,000. Ka-ching!
Total = $1,221,000

Lest we forget, I'm sure some publicity-seeking college is going to come forward and offer all eight of the little rugrats scholarships to their higher learning institute. Let's calculate that donation as about $20,000 per child, per year -- that totals an astronomical $640,000. Ka-chingyding!
Total = $1,861,000

And last, but nowhere near least, is the money this family could potentially make from book deals, movie deals, magazine and TV interviews, speaking engagements, endorsements etc... This is VERY hard to calculate but I'm going to guess that they could probably make about $2,000,000 (yup, two million dollars) over the next few years. Ka,Ka,Ka-ching!
Total - $3,861,000

By no means is this all the possible LOOT this family could take in over the course of the kids' lifetime, but it's a start. And all I know is that when I had my son, all I got was a lousy blanket from the hospital. Maybe if I had known that I could possibly rake in a whopping $4,000,000, I would have tried to have seven more, all at once.

next: Cops: Dad Kills Wife, Five Kids in Murder-Suicide
41 comments so far | Post a comment now
Igsuozwa June 29, 2009, 3:56 PM

WVHZ1W comment6 ,

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