Guest Blogger Jayne: Last night I wasn't very nice to my husband and this morning he told me that he would leave me if I ever spoke to him like that again. My reaction? I laughed in his face.
To be honest, I have NO idea what I said that was so rude, but when he told me last night, "Don't talk to me like that," I responded with, "Just get out of here and turn off the lights." I guess since he slammed the lights off and then slammed the door, that was the wrong answer.
This morning everything seemed fine until he said to me, "If you ever speak to me like that again, I'll leave you. I'm sick of being spoken to like that." So is it wrong that my only reaction to his oh-so-dramatic (and manipulative) statement was to laugh in his face and say something along the lines of, "Oh, puleeeze!"?? My dear, sweet husband wanted a reaction, maybe an apology, maybe even a "Please don't leave me," but all he got was laughed at. Sad.
Now I know that laughing in my husband's face when he, in all seriousness, tells me that he will end our marriage if I ever speak to him so rudely again isn't right -- but I'm sorry I couldn't help myself.
It's not that I don't care if he leaves me (I do), it's just that I think it is completely ridiculous to say something like that when it is NEVER going to happen. And when I say never, I mean there is no way in hell we are ever getting divorced (and I tell him that all the time.)
You may be thinking to yourself right now, "Who is this woman? How can she possibly suffer from such high esteem?" Well, to be honest, I have no idea who I think I am, but I know one thing, I will NEVER let my husband leave me -- and to be honest I think that he kind of likes this. He knows that no matter what kind of a fool he is, no matter how tired, frustrated and angry with him I get, or how annoying he is -- I will never leave him.
Now what makes me think I can be so mean to him (I don't really think I'm mean, but he does and I guess that's what matters) and stay married to him? I'm not so sure, and it's actually a question I have asked myself many times. Why am I so mean to him when, according to him, I am SOOOO nice to other people?
Here is an example of how, according to him, I am SO "nasty" to him. This weekend we were in the car and he suddenly tells me what he thinks is a freakin' "brilliant" idea. I listen to his "brainstorm" and at the end all I could manage to blurt out was, "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard." For some unknown reason my husband became very angry over this and told me that I was such a bitch and that he was "sick of me being nice to everyone else but him." I didn't apologize, all I could manage to blurt out was, "No I'm not, this is how I am."
That got me to wondering, "Am I really nicer to everyone than my husband?" and if so why? I thought about it and thought about it and came to the conclusions that yes, I do afford others much more respect than I do my husband for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I can really be my true (bitchy, nasty) self with him or maybe it's the fact that when I get annoyed with other people and have to PRETEND to be nice to them, when I get home I take it out on him.
I feel bad though, and from now on I am going to try and treat him with the respect that a husband deserves. After all, he is just about the closest person to me, so I should be the nicest to him -- even when he's annoying. So hon, if you're reading, "I'm sorry, I won't talk to you like that again (soon) and I LOVE YOU!"
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