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My Husband Threatened to Leave Me. I Laughed!

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Guest Blogger Jayne: Last night I wasn't very nice to my husband and this morning he told me that he would leave me if I ever spoke to him like that again. My reaction? I laughed in his face.

woman laughing at man

To be honest, I have NO idea what I said that was so rude, but when he told me last night, "Don't talk to me like that," I responded with, "Just get out of here and turn off the lights." I guess since he slammed the lights off and then slammed the door, that was the wrong answer.

This morning everything seemed fine until he said to me, "If you ever speak to me like that again, I'll leave you. I'm sick of being spoken to like that." So is it wrong that my only reaction to his oh-so-dramatic (and manipulative) statement was to laugh in his face and say something along the lines of, "Oh, puleeeze!"?? My dear, sweet husband wanted a reaction, maybe an apology, maybe even a "Please don't leave me," but all he got was laughed at. Sad.

Now I know that laughing in my husband's face when he, in all seriousness, tells me that he will end our marriage if I ever speak to him so rudely again isn't right -- but I'm sorry I couldn't help myself.

It's not that I don't care if he leaves me (I do), it's just that I think it is completely ridiculous to say something like that when it is NEVER going to happen. And when I say never, I mean there is no way in hell we are ever getting divorced (and I tell him that all the time.)

You may be thinking to yourself right now, "Who is this woman? How can she possibly suffer from such high esteem?" Well, to be honest, I have no idea who I think I am, but I know one thing, I will NEVER let my husband leave me -- and to be honest I think that he kind of likes this. He knows that no matter what kind of a fool he is, no matter how tired, frustrated and angry with him I get, or how annoying he is -- I will never leave him.

Now what makes me think I can be so mean to him (I don't really think I'm mean, but he does and I guess that's what matters) and stay married to him? I'm not so sure, and it's actually a question I have asked myself many times. Why am I so mean to him when, according to him, I am SOOOO nice to other people?

Here is an example of how, according to him, I am SO "nasty" to him. This weekend we were in the car and he suddenly tells me what he thinks is a freakin' "brilliant" idea. I listen to his "brainstorm" and at the end all I could manage to blurt out was, "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard." For some unknown reason my husband became very angry over this and told me that I was such a bitch and that he was "sick of me being nice to everyone else but him." I didn't apologize, all I could manage to blurt out was, "No I'm not, this is how I am."

That got me to wondering, "Am I really nicer to everyone than my husband?" and if so why? I thought about it and thought about it and came to the conclusions that yes, I do afford others much more respect than I do my husband for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I can really be my true (bitchy, nasty) self with him or maybe it's the fact that when I get annoyed with other people and have to PRETEND to be nice to them, when I get home I take it out on him.

I feel bad though, and from now on I am going to try and treat him with the respect that a husband deserves. After all, he is just about the closest person to me, so I should be the nicest to him -- even when he's annoying. So hon, if you're reading, "I'm sorry, I won't talk to you like that again (soon) and I LOVE YOU!"


next: What's Really In Your "Healthy" Salad
21 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jenny January 7, 2009, 3:56 PM

Im sure your husband is no saint either but I do feel bad for him. He thought he had a great idea and you basically told him how stupid it was which is guy language is telling him HE is stupid. Guys want to be respected and looked up to, they want to be your super hero. You are verbally castrating this man. While you dont think you are nasty from a man’s perspective you are. Im happy that you are trying to change.

Anonymous January 7, 2009, 4:54 PM

Wow. You say you won’t let him leave? Keep up the bitchiness and he may not give you a choice!

RIKKI January 7, 2009, 5:09 PM

Unbelievable, and you call your self a wife, a wife is suppose to be someone you can tell your deepest darketst secrets to and know that they’ll be on your side, not be on edge every time you mention something and hope the response you get is good. If you dont have something nice to say maybe dont say anything at all. I had a husband once like you and now he is my ex- a person can only put up with being bitched at for only so long, so if you do value your relationship I hope you do treat him better, and it’s not always up to just you if the two of you stay together forever he has a say in it to or have you forgot. Sometimes it is nice to have the man wear the pants in the family, you just might be suprised by the outcome.

Ash January 7, 2009, 5:22 PM

While I like the note this post ended on, I am really put off by your boastfulness about being nasty and bitchy. The world could use a lot less bitchy attitudes and a few more nicer ones.
Especially when it comes to our hubbies. Mine would react the same way if I said one of his ideas was stupid. Try helping him to make the idea BETTER instead of dragging him down to your level.

San Diego Momma January 7, 2009, 6:57 PM

I have to imagine this is written tongue in cheek, right?

I mean, I’m bitchy to my husband on several occasions, but I do see a need to change.

I suppose if you turned the tables and imagined him speaking to you the way you do to him, you may see yourself in a different light.

I do hope so for both your sakes.

Catherine Ford January 7, 2009, 7:12 PM

The most important relationship in your life should be the one with your husband. You should afford him all respect, as he should you. They say familiarity breeds contempt, and this can be true, but I suggest you either fight it or allow both of you to move on and find more suitable life-mates.

matty January 7, 2009, 7:39 PM

Just because you wouldn’t divorce him, don’t think that he wouldn’t divorce you.

Erika  January 7, 2009, 7:50 PM

wincing through this blog…hoping you’re kidding otherwise you sound abusive and men can be abused and if you’re telling him “all the time” that you’re not getting a divorce…that’s a problem. It’s not funny, cute, sexy, or smart to demean someone. In fact it’s rude, cruel, and sick. You sound like a demented b****,but I am sure you were just kidding, I hope.

Norm January 7, 2009, 7:57 PM

He should leave you. I would.

Maybe after living alone again for a while you’ll begin to appreciate the feelings and dignity of a partner.

Oh, and when you are eventually divorced don’t come whine to us about it.

Valerie January 7, 2009, 10:00 PM

HEY JAYNE! Your husbands right- you are a big b*tch and you’d be lucky if he didnt leave you! It’s a freakin partnership, not just your way goes and his way blows. You need to grow up a little bit. From the selfish story you just told, all you do is put him down. You need to give him some of that confidence that you claim to have. But if you ask me, all you sound like is a bossy, overbearing, snobby, “thinks she’s better than everyone” b*tch! One day your man will find out that theres ALOT of women out there who wouldnt treat him like a dog. Maybe you should shape uo before he does! Quit putting him down just to make yourself feel more confident! Hopefully this will wake you up a little, God knows you need it. And when you get a second- Go give your husband a real BIG kiss, because he really deserves it!

mrs.in la January 7, 2009, 10:08 PM

You are clearly the most self-absorbed, nasty, bitchy woman I’ve ever heard. I can only hope and pray that your husband leaves you. He deserves to be treated with dignity and compassion. You deserve to experience loneliness tolearn what it means to be a decent human being. Stop whining and pack your bags.

college coed January 7, 2009, 10:16 PM

I think you are a wretched wench! Lighten up. Why do you have to be so mean. Do you have friends?

megan January 7, 2009, 11:09 PM

you’ll be a single mom soon if you keep this up.

Michelle January 8, 2009, 8:50 AM

This is terrible. People do sometimes treat strangers with more respect than they do the people who love them becuase they fasely believe that they will never be left. WRONG!! Go ahead keep on being hateful to your husband, tear down his self esteem and ideas and make him feel not worth it. Thats a great thing to do to the person you are supposed love and support

Anonymous January 8, 2009, 12:16 PM

Tell him don’t let the door hit him in the a$$ on his way out.

Anonymous January 8, 2009, 1:01 PM

how would you feel if your husband treated you the way you treat him??? i mean seriously….treat him with some respect, you would want the same. i would go home and apologize and hope that he forgives you.

Mindy January 8, 2009, 11:26 PM

You should read the “Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Men want to feel appreciated by their wives, girlfriends etc.. Men aren’t complicated.. Just feed them and make love to them. Also, just a few compliments like “you are my hero” after he fixes something around the house will make him feel so studley he will treat you like a queen!! And remember, their is always a single woman out there who would be willing to give your husband EVERYTHING he needs that he is not getting at home from you.
I hope you lose your EGO! And treat this man with the respect he deserves.

Remmber, thoughts become things so CHOOSE THE GOOD ONES!!

ketxm toemi January 15, 2009, 6:15 PM

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www.momlogic.com May 15, 2011, 12:07 PM

Husband_threatend_to_leave_me.. Great idea :)

www.momlogic.com June 3, 2011, 2:28 AM

Husband_threatend_to_leave_me.. Tiptop :)


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