Radical Mommy: Can someone please tell me when it became OK to panhandle at work? By panhandling, I mean selling Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, and Do-si-Dos to unsuspecting and defenseless co-workers. Isn't there some law about soliciting in a workplace? And doesn't hawking cookies for cash count as soliciting? I mean, I don't come into work and sell bananas so that my son can go on a soccer trip -- so why do YOU come in selling cookies?
According to the Girl Scout Cookie website: "The activity of selling cookies is directly related to our purpose of helping all girls realize their full potential and become strong, confident, and resourceful citizens."
The website goes on to say:
- Girl Scouts practice life skills like goal-setting, money management, and teamwork -- and they have fun! (What I think they REALLY mean to say is that the actual Girl Scouts sit on the asses while their parents learn all those lessons.)
- Customers get a great product and get to support girls in their own community. (What the hell is so great about people who are probably already overweight shoveling sleeves of Thin Mints in their mouths? Can someone please tell me?)
- All of the proceeds support Girl Scouting in the local community. (Why aren't these kids' parents paying to help their kids' Girl Scouting in the local community? Why do I have to foot the bill for your kids' desire to help the community? You do it!)
I know that people are going to be pissed when they read this -- especially all the cookie-slinging parents out there -- but if you take the time to really think about it, you start to see things my way.
If the kids themselves were doing the selling, then I'd only have a slight problem with it -- after all, I don't think that little girls should be put in the position of begging for money to fund activities that their parents should be paying for in the first place. But when it's their parents doing the selling FOR them, I consider it straight-up armed robbery with baked goods.
I know a lot of you are thinking, "Hey, don't buy them if you don't want them, bitter lady!" Well, it's not that easy -- these cookie-selling predators work in such a way that you actually feel guilty if you don't submit to their baked-goods bribery. I completely resent it -- if I want cookies, I will buy them at the supermarket, not from a co-worker at my place of employment.
The reason I resent the cookie-selling so much is because it's often the boss doing the pushing. Now you tell me, who wants to say "no" to their boss's kids? I mean, you're the boss, surely you don't have to force me, your employee, to give you money so your kids can roast marshmallows around a campfire. Pathetic! Pay for it your goddamned selves.
So, as you can well imagine, I won't be buying any Girl Scout Cookies this year, or any other year for that matter. And in case you're considering asking me to sponsor you in some godforsaken marathon, you can forget that, too!