Love and Sex ... In That Order

Love and Sex ... In That Order

Friday, January 30, 2009

filed under: karrine steffans

Guest blogger Karrine Steffans: So, maybe it's been a few days or weeks since you and your hubby enjoyed each other, sexually. Don't panic. Though your man probably loves sex just as much as the next guy, and loves you for that matter, many times he simply needs to know you find him sexually attractive, no matter how many pea-green diaper messes you've accidentally stuck your fingers in today.

Next time you pass him on your way to your cranky toddler, grab him and let him know you can't wait to have him again. Next time he takes out the trash, kiss him passionately, look him in the eyes and let him know how much you love and appreciate him. It's amazing what a simple wink or caress will do during hectic times.

Let him know you recognize the changes in your sex life, that you care, are eagerly awaiting your first opportunity to scratch that itch and, most importantly, before anything and after everything, love that man.

Foreplay begins weeks, days and hours before you get naked and there is no aphrodisiac as effective as true love and caring for your partner.

We work full-time in and/or out of our homes and we sometimes lose track of our men, thinking they can take care of themselves. But they're your babies, too, and need you just as much. So, tell that man just how much you can't live without him and, first chance you get, f***k him silly!

For more, read The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and keep the Man You Want, July 2009. More info at Karrine.com.

Karrine Steffans is a stay-at-home mother of two. A New York Times best selling author, she is a pop culture figure who has injected her real life experiences and advice into a new generation of women and demographics commonly overlooked.

28 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I sort of learned this lesson in my marriage that ended in divorce 2 years ags. We focused so much on our 3 lil ones that we made no time for love. Then we both turned to our businesses and then he turned to another woman. In my new relationship the love bond is strong and we have foreplay all thru the week making the weekend love fantastic!

- geegee

Posted 01/29/09 06:00 PM

Love…

- Seven

Posted 01/29/09 07:24 PM

SINCE WHEN IS THIS TRIFLING GIRL A MOTHER OF 2?????

- kim

Posted 01/29/09 08:16 PM

Once again Karrine…I 110% agree—-men are like our children—-can not go with out our love and attention, I think they are more insecure than we are at times LOL….forget the haters, no one cares about them

- shawty

Posted 01/29/09 08:33 PM

Kim, why are you always hating on Karrine she can never do anything right…why don’t you stay the hell off her blogs since you never have anything positive to say. Does her life affect your life at all…Does it matter if she has two kids three kids or 8 kids….You need a life…you are always on her blogs commenting some hateful thing about how triflin’ she is or how she’s a hoe or how can she know what she is talking about…You are annoying and frankly someone who must be very angry inside and unhappy with themselves to waste so much time on someone that you don’t personally know. She is makin’ her money whether you think she is a hoe or not….If you really wanna affect her so much stop hating, then she won’t be controversial…BTW, I love this post and she is right love before sex that’s the best way!!!

- Deva

Posted 01/29/09 10:22 PM

WELL SAID DEVA!!!!

- LaLa

Posted 01/29/09 10:50 PM

Our best example of a perfect married couple is the Blessed Ever Virgin Mary and her Chase Spouse ~ St. Joseph - they give me strength in their example of Love and Marriage. Sex didn’t have anything to do with it. Our Culture has made sex into something it was never intended for - God created the intimate union between a man and a women (only) to be fruitful and multiply. The intention should always be to have children - not to have foreplay or pleasure, etc. If we could somehow go back to the basics of purity and love - we would be much more satisfied inside then what any kind of sex act can give. Sex is overrated these days - Love is the cureall! God IS LOVE! Don’t get confused about Love being Sex … People can know more about true love without sex than what they can with sex. Our flesh gets in the way of true love. God can help us sort it out - the world has a hard time sorting it out. I thank God for the Holy Family and their role model for us. Three people totally engulfed in doing God’s Will - there is not a doubt in my mind that they knew what true love is - because the closer you get to God and the more you’re willing to say yes to God - the more love you feel inside for yourself and for others. God is love - True Pure Love …

- Teri

Posted 01/29/09 10:52 PM

THIS IS A GREAT BLOG!!! LOOKS LIKE ONLY ONE HATER THUS FAR, AND SHE HATES REGAURDLESS…KS WONDERFUL BLOG!!!

- ITSME

Posted 01/30/09 07:22 AM

Very nice, and completely true!

- swash1

Posted 01/30/09 11:31 AM

Completely, true.

- Ben's Momma

Posted 01/30/09 12:17 PM

Teri are you saying that God in his all knowing wisdom in creating our bodies and creating marriage, love, and sex that He doesn’t want us to have sex for pleasure??? So married people shouldn’t have sex except when they are trying to get married??? I just want to make sure that I’m understanding you correctly.

- Deva

Posted 01/30/09 12:24 PM

This one is actually sound info.. Good job

- S

Posted 01/30/09 03:49 PM

Well everything u said I pretty much know. Bt I’m sure its informative for those that dnt know. O’yea, KS wsup wit the asst position?

- Ferrari

Posted 01/30/09 05:43 PM

LOL, there’s always one hater as usual. Brush it off and keep it pushing… Great blog Karrine. I think there are plenty of married women/fulltime mommies who will find this information useful and cherish it. Have a good day!

- Britney

Posted 01/31/09 05:18 PM

WOW! THE HATE THATS COMING FROM “KIM” IS OBVIOUS THAT SHE WANTS TO BE KARRINE’S BEST FRIEND OR I REALLY THINK SHE WANTS HER! OPEN YOUR EARS “KIM”, KARRINE IS EDUCATING U SOOOO U WON’T FEEL/BE MISERABLE ANYMORE, AND YOU WILL TURN THAT NEGATIVE ATTENTION TOWARDS THE RIGHT DIRECTION. STOP HATING MAN!!!

- Demeara

Posted 02/01/09 01:20 AM

Kim, you must know that Karrines stans come in here to back her up. I agree with u on the trifling part. We will be called haters bcz we disagree with her. Its a shame we live in a world of robot. when u disagree it makes u a hater. im not saying that everything KS says is wrong but her credibility is questionable by my standards. Some people just dont have standards thats all. Then they mad and start yelling like they wanna fight u cuz u aint all on KS like they are. Grow up girls, since when do u need anyone to tell u what u ALREADY KNOW. Aint none of y’all new to this and any one of u can get up here and say EXACTLY what this girl is saying and probably be much more credible and respected. This si the same sh_t ya mothers, aunts, sisters, girlfriend and common sense has told u ur whole life. U can call me a hater if u want…i dont care lol but what im sayin is 100% truth Peace & Love

- Schae

Posted 02/03/09 12:47 PM

Kim just because Karrine picked a certain way to make her money doesn’t mean she’s a bad person or for that matter a bad mother. It is what it is. Except it and move on with your life. The truth of the matter is wouldn’t you want advice from someone who knows exactly what she’s talking about to help your stick in the butt self. Instead of all the negative words you choose to say. You need to take some of her advice so you can be happy and keep a man yourself.

- Marcedys

Posted 02/04/09 09:50 AM

I can’t help but notice that all of the author’s blogs are about taking care of your man, what does the man want, please the man. Is that just unsettling or is there anyone else in the house?

- Cheryl

Posted 02/04/09 07:02 PM

I notice that the author’s blogs are all about what does the man want, please your man, make sure all of his needs are met. Is this unsettling just for me or is there anyone else in the house?

- cheryl

Posted 02/04/09 07:05 PM

You can’t help with foreplay if you love each other and each others’ company. We play the tease game while missing each other-just another communication, people!

- Me

Posted 02/04/09 07:19 PM