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I'm Leaving Him ... and Everything

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Guest blogger mom-on-the-edge: It's been the longest relationship of my life but it's time... I'm breaking up.  My heart has been racing every day since I've made this decision . After twenty years I'm leaving my beloved city for suburbia.  Aaaaah New York, my love.

woman looking out an airplane window

I went to school here. I met my husband here. I gave birth to my baby here.

When the planes flew into the Twin Towers I yelled into the phone to my friend, "Leave! Leave! Leave your apartment. I think they're gonna fall!" The noxious smell wafted past my windows for days.

When the U.S. Airways plane glided amazingly across the icy Hudson waters, I rejoiced with the rest of Manhattan glowing in the wake of a miracle.

However, as much as I cherish my neighbors across the hall for always opening the spaghetti sauce jar when I can't, my butcher for posting my resume when I was unemployed and my pediatrician for being one block away, great peace of mind in case of emergency, my family can't survive in a 500 sq. ft. apartment anymore. Living in such tight quarters has been fine with me because there's so much going on right outside my door. It was worth the compromise.

Now, my son is 17 months old and needs more room to run around. And, my husband is about to blow a gasket if he doesn't get some place to sit by himself and read or escape from me during an argument.

I wonder, will having more space help save my marriage or just create more space between us? And, will I feel isolated and lonely living in a house and turn into one of those desperate housewives? I guess we shall see...

next: What George Bush is Doing Now
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
Lisalove January 19, 2009, 12:48 PM

Congratulations for making such a tough decision. I left NYC 2 years ago for a job in LA. Although I miss the city terribly, it is nice to get some distance and try something new.

I know that I will be back because there is no place on the world quite like it.

allena January 19, 2009, 3:12 PM

If you could live in the center of the world, wouldn’t you?

As a midwesterner with low COL and room to spare, I know it’s easy for me to say that, but I can’t imagine leaving nyc.

Jodi January 19, 2009, 7:14 PM

DON’T DO IT!!!!! I was tricked into moving across the river to New Jersey 16 years ago (by my husband-to-be, whose business was in NJ) and have hated every second of it. Space is overrated; you’ll be trading world-class culture, unlimited activities, great food, easy and cheap transportation, a great cross-section of humanity and neighbors you love for — what? A den?? Get a part-time job and look for a larger place while interest rates are low. Move now and you won’t be back until your babies are in college, if ever.

Anonymous January 20, 2009, 12:32 AM

It is just a matter of conception in our eyes and psyche about the place that we live in. We often think it is the centre of the world. that the CG of the universe rests there….. Worth thinking harder…perhaps, you were the reason for the CG to be centred there :)

cg - centre of gravity


luraleene January 22, 2009, 5:36 PM

As long as you feel this is the right move. If you are doing it for everyone else it’s not a good thing. I have been in a relationship for 30 yrs. High school sweetheart. Everything i have done i have done for him and the kids. Im now in the process of splitting myself. Only thing is my eldest 2 now live away from home and my youngest is starting high school. I have been unhappy for years and never stood up and said hey this is what i want…. I have been walked over in every possible way.
I’m proud of the fact i have raised 3 beautiful children and given them everything i possibly can. But now i am middle age. Don’t have a job. All the bills are in my name and don’t know myself what to do…i have never had the freedom to think for myself.

Ms. Single Mama February 13, 2009, 9:17 PM

Who will own the house?

Just in case… be thinking about what happens if it doesn’t work out.

Good luck! Please stop by my blog if you get a chance, it may help if you become a single mother.

-Ms. Single Mama

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