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My Neighbors' Sex is Out of Control!

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We just moved into a new place, and there are some (really gross) noises I just can NOT get used to. Help!

Couple having sex and couple covering their ears

Momlogic's Talitha: At about 11:00 last night, my man and I were physically shaken out of bed, thinking we were having an earthquake. We shot straight up, paralyzed as to what to do or what was going on. The ground was shaking, and the walls were making this really loud consistent booming noise. Bam. Bam. Bam.

"What the hell IS that?" I shrieked. Thinking someone may be breaking in, my man hopped out of bed, armed with his tennis racquet (don't ask...) and ran into the living room. That's about when a louder and waaaay more obnoxious "When Harry Met Sally"-style moaning and groaning orgasm began, along with what we now realized was a bed (or dresser) shaking against the wall. Our new, initially super-conservative and buttoned-up neighbors were having the loudest, most out-of-control sex we'd ever heard. Ew. It went on for about 45 minutes (my man could learn something from the guy, BTW), and when it was finally over, we went back to sleep, annoyed they had woken us up ... and, to be honest, a little grossed out.

Several hours later, it happened again. Loud, obnoxious, rough new-neighbor sex. "How the F is that possible?" we wondered incredulously. "They just did it a few hours ago!" Again, the same thing. This time, we got concerned. How many times will we have to listen to this? Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep last night at all. And I'm pissed!

What should I do?

Should I write a note and slip it under their door? "Hello, neighbors. Glad you're enjoying yourselves ... however, you kept us up all night. Could you keep it down next time?" Or should we mention something the next time we run into them, like: "Hey, guys! Sounded like you both got lucky last night, if you know what I mean. Ha ha." Or should we just ignore it and fearfully await the next time they shake us (literally) out of bed?

Seriously. I need help. What do I do?

next: Woman Falls on Subway Tracks, Escapes Oncoming Train
26 comments so far | Post a comment now
jimmy January 21, 2009, 10:18 AM

You should pay them back by doing the same thing to them.

Anon January 21, 2009, 10:28 AM

You need to leave the note, if that doesn’t work talk to them, if that doesn’t work call the super or cops. They are obviously not aware or don’t care, so bringing it up w/the note should take care of it. Trust me - I was the noisy one until it was brought to my attention. I’m more aware and “careful” now.

Alexis Stein January 21, 2009, 10:46 AM

THIS EXACT thing happened to me with my neighbor! I live in NYC and our neighbor has crazy sex that rattles our walls. We tried “letting it go” but honestly, I couldn’t after a few weeks. Finally one morning, they woke me up and I had had it! I jumped out of bed and banged on the wall until they stopped. I let them know they could be heard and! It happened again a week later where I reinforced my banging the wall again and haven’t heard them since!

Anonymous January 21, 2009, 10:58 AM

I had the same thing happen to us. We called security and complained about a loud noise and screaming (not a lie) and they knocked on their door interrupting them. They were quiet after that.

jackie January 21, 2009, 12:18 PM

OH MY! The same thing happened to me too, but nothing changed it. It was like they WANTED the whole neighorhood to hear them having sex. Disgusting! We tried everything and nothing worked. it was so annoying. every night we went to sleep wondering if we were going to get woken up. The one thing we didn’t do is call the cops, wish we would have tried that!

Kia January 21, 2009, 5:05 PM

Uhh Ohh sounds like that could be me and my man…. Oops sorry if so!!!!!

leslie January 21, 2009, 8:45 PM

Well you wouldn’t want me for a neighbor. My man is so good at what he does to me it makes me wild. It is great.

Shelly January 21, 2009, 8:49 PM

Same thing happened to us. The worst part was the banging which we later learned was her head hitting the wall. She was proud of this. At first we did nothing, then when it continued for weeks, we responded in kind. No change. Finally we brought it up to her in conversation and although she was proud and thought it cute, we directly told her it was really keeping us up at night.
It got better but didn’t stop.
I would call animal control and tell them there was a dog in pain.

Ready January 21, 2009, 8:54 PM

Go next door and knock, then ask if you two can join them.

ame i. January 22, 2009, 11:46 AM

I’ve only lived in 2 apartments/townhouses, but never had that problem, probably because both were “backwards”, so the bedrooms in each didn’t share a wall.
That would get the hell on my nerves!

:oP January 23, 2009, 12:08 PM

I like Ready’s idea… Of course they could say yes… Yikes!!

stacy January 28, 2009, 11:20 AM

Ask if they wouldn’t mind moving their furniture so there’s nothing hitting the wall, at least.

Angelique February 7, 2009, 5:21 PM

I say more power to them. I which I was in their relationship. My man was boring! I needed someone who liked to rock and roll like a wild man. Sex is natural and super. : )

Lakwanza February 7, 2009, 5:30 PM

I would rather hear real people having real sex. The neighbor I lived next to was deaf, because his XXX movie was so loud I could hear in my apartment. : )

Roxanne February 7, 2009, 5:39 PM

You two are just jealous prudes. You should be hot and heavy too. Then you won’t be focusing on the noises in the next apartment. You should be making a lot of noise too. Otherwise, you too aren’t a sexual couple. Are you just roommates? You should be wild sex mates too.

Tasty Cheddar February 19, 2009, 5:15 PM

Stop being a frigid prude and ruining other’s enjoyment of life. Next time you hear them get it on maybe you and your SO should get it on too. You will live longer for it…

Nicole February 24, 2009, 9:37 AM

Thank you Tasty Chedder. My husband and I moved into a big city and therefore, an apartment. Having always lived in a house, we never held back.

I am always so nervous each time we have sex because I wonder if the neighbors can hear me… we have never heard our neighbors. Then I read this, and was like - oh crap! Maybe our neighbors think terrible things about us! I would never intentionally disrupt someone’s sleep… but then why should someone else disrupt our deepest expression of love? (Granted, we don’t knock on the wall with our heads)

But, in the end I am pleased that a few of you reiterated the enjoyment of it all and well, expressing one’s pleasure is natural after all…

signed, a nice AND naughty neighbor

Ju February 27, 2009, 12:33 AM

I use a pillow between the headboard and the wall. I don’t want to hear my neighbors (I can hear one of them snore!) and I’m pretty sure they don’t want to hear me(I think).

Kelly March 28, 2009, 9:03 PM

Hey people is not about being a prude. How do you you know this couple is not having good sex as well? Its about having some consideration for other people who doesnt have to listen to other peoples intimate moments.

Bpfzucsn June 23, 2009, 9:15 PM

bE1SnT comment1 ,

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