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Octuplets are Gross

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Guest blogger Gay Uncle Brett Berk: A lot of experts have been commenting on the California woman who recently delivered eight live babies: critiquing the doctor, the family, and the fertility industry for creating this unsustainable phalanx of squirmy infant life. Most of the reaction has been from a scientific perspective, noting the health risks associated with this kind of multiple (multiplex?) birth. But no one is taking the position I am, which is to say, simply, that octuplets are GROSS.

Man looking disgusted

Of course, they're each a glorious blessing from the Lord, and I want them to be healthy and thrive and survive so they can create their own freak show, or pay-per-view nanny-cams. Yet I just can't stop myself from thinking about all the ... sh*t they're going to produce. Of course every baby defecates. That's line 3 in their job description, after eat and sleep, but right before cry. But if you have eight families each with just one child, all that poo is spread out (pardon the image) over a number of different locations. A little here, a little there, some more down the street. If you have octuplets, it's all gathered up and concentrated in one giant, steamy, gaseous, constantly growing heap.

And that's just one example of this consumption/production cycle. Think of the quantity of milk that will need to come out of that mother's boobs. (Note on fridge: Buy More Hay). Consider the number of tweens in sweat shops half way around the world who will need to be recruited to sew all their teensy Old Navy outfits. Picture a garage full of strollers. An Astrodome of cribs. A Niagra of urine and mucus and spit up. If you begin to think about it this way, octuplets are not simply unsafe, or immoral. They're disgusting.


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65 comments so far | Post a comment now
faith February 10, 2009, 3:10 PM

Yeah, this lady is just selfish
plain and simple
just selfish

Vick February 12, 2009, 2:48 AM

I have to say, has anyone here really read or looked into this very deeply? The media has decided to make this “bad” so they only tell you the negative aspects and make you think that it’s all about her using ths system.
Has anyone looked into the information about how you actually go thru in vetro?
Depending on age, they ALWAYS implant two or more embryos. That’s how it was for all her previous kids. The older you get, the more implanted. She had multiples implanted on all of her pregnancies and each one only had one baby make it. They thought only one would make it once again, but they were wrong. I do believe that yes, she should have either aborted some of them and stuck with a few, or at least set up adoption for the rest. Either way, if you look at it from her perspective, she only thought she’d end up with one, but now there is eight. The real question is, will she be able to do it on her own? Or will she adopt the majoridy out to good homes where people would love to have them. It all just depends.
I know that I’d have a hard time deciding who to adopt and who not to adopt. That’s heart wrenching to me.
So everyone, please take a moment to step back and look at this beyond the media. Look the information up, look at the real story, not what the media wants to make everyone think. Cause just in case ya’ll haven’t heard, they can LIE.
Give her a chance, break, or leave it the heck alone.
~Vick~
Proud mother of one cute little boy who is the center of my world, with more to come. (not 13 though, just 4 more)

DETINYST February 12, 2009, 8:27 AM

U ARE SO DUMB YOUR GROSS.BABIES ARE ALWATS CUTE YOU ARE A DODO HEAD DUMMY

LULZ February 14, 2009, 12:01 AM

You SIR are EPIC WIN!
The women on this mindless site are EPIC FAIL!
Just think all those diapers ending up in a landfill.The energy she’ll consume will make rest of the USA look like it’s earned an energy star sticker.
This walking uterus, people, is the ideal military machine;she can manufacture an entire army,or perhaps she’s the person needed to colonize Mars and Titan.

Anonymous February 17, 2009, 3:18 AM

morals! All of the negative comments im sure ooze with morality!

Peter Hill February 20, 2009, 5:58 PM

What is sick to me about this case is that now there are 14 children to be raised without a dad. Kids without dads have higher rates of suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, early teen pregnancy, teen violence that leads to more adult violence, especially against women. We are now a nation of single mothers and women are paying a dear price for kids being raised without dads. We all are paying a price. Now 28% of kids are raised without dads, over 20 million kids. This one women alone added 18 more kids by herself. This is so so sick. The doctor should help to raise her kids and pay for her kids too. I think any fertility doctor who puts in more than two eggs should have to pay for the care of additional kids.

Hpgnqomv June 22, 2009, 7:51 AM

rJH5mf comment4 ,

Fashion Merchandising October 12, 2010, 3:29 PM

I’m a Senior Lecturer from the Cultural Studies department at Central Saint Martins in which I’m also earning a living with a project for the industry.

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