Single Mom's Open Letter to Ann Coulter

 

To all of you who are bashing Ann I have to wonder… How many of you have read her book and for that matter how many of you have done any kind of research on the topic of single motherhood and its affects on children, other than your own personal experiences of course? I would imagine none of you have. As a person who was raised by a single mom I understand you mama-bear, knee-jerk reaction to defend how you raise your children. I was lucky enough to be 14 before my parents split and not without struggle I turned out somewhat ok. With some self discipline I managed to finish school, get married and with a lot of hard work stay married 18 years. I have 2 great kids who do well in school and are respectful of others. Things aren’t so great for my much younger brothers who were toddlers at the time our parents split. One lives off the state with his 2 kids (different moms) and girlfriend while the other loves to intimidate people and can’t hold a job. My mom worked hard both at work and at home. The problem was that she simply could not do it all. Some version of this could be your story or not. The simple truth here is that the facts and statistics still remain and you will have to work twice as hard as a married couple will to raise your children to be upstanding citizens. I wish you all much luck and pray that your children do well in life.

- ak mom

Posted 01/19/09 06:39 PM

 

 

I read her book. I didn’t buy it, a friend gave it to me. I also did extensive research on single parent households. Yes, in a perfect world it would be ideal to be raised in a home where you have two parents, where the father works and the mom stays home baking cookies and keeping the house clean. It would be ideal if we could all be the perfect family straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. The point of raising good solid children into stable adults, starts at home. I’ve seen many adults who are stable, and whe were raised in single family homes. I’ve also seen many unstable adults raised with two parents. So, you see, Mann Coulter isn’t pointing out anything new, just that nobody would make a black and white statment like that. There is always gray areas, we all know that. Stop the finger pointing and blaming and come up with solutions. It all boils down to good parenting vs. bad parenting, and it doesn’t matter if your a single or a married.

- Bjones

Posted 01/20/09 11:00 AM

 

 

I happen to be one of those single mothers that had a child out of wedlock that Ann speaks of.And am also white “as someone seemed to insinuate that many of these “type” of women are not.” I have not read her book and neither do I care to do so and can not comment on the whole book. I did decide to marry the father of my children and wanted to work things out because I didn’t want my children to come from a split home. Their father seemed like a good guy and was raised by both of his parents along with two other children. Unlike his brother and sister, my children’s father became an alcoholic and got involved with drugs and became abusive. Needless to say, I ended up leaving him because I decided it would be better to raise my children on my own than to have them in that situation. Since leaving him, he went to jail and prison for a little while for drugs and sexual battery and I have become an EMT and have also done many other courses to add to my education. I support my children on my own without welfare or child support and pay my own bills. My children have done great. I have had honor roll students and am told over and over again how kind and considerate my children are and how they always try to help others. It may help out more financially when there are two parents in a home. But one parent can be just as loving, caring, and stable as two of not more so at times. I don’t believe everyone is trying to say it is to be glorified for a woman to go out and get pregnant and have a child out of wedlock. I believe people are trying to say that the single parents that have done it and have managed to be there for their children and make good lives for them are to be glorified regardless if the single parent is male or female. I have to agree with the statement by Bjones in this case. It boils down to good parenting vs. bad parenting, but then you also have to add in the fact it may not have even have anything to do with one’s parenting skills but may have to do with the child just being

- KJ

Posted 01/22/09 03:46 AM

 

 

So tell me would it be better for me a single mother to bring a man into my life to be a role model to my son just so he doesn’t become a statistic. What if that man molested my son? Then my son still becomes a statistic filled with the same problems if I had raised him alone. What if he beat my child? Would that not cause the same problems? Instead of doing the research on what single parented kids grow up to be why not work on helping the situation if it bothers u so much. There should be programs and funding for these children where they can have some mentoring.

- Anonymous

Posted 01/28/09 07:50 PM

 

 

Coulter is just stating the facts. People lOVE bringing up exceptions to the rule as if that cancels out the rule. The true victims are children and she is simply pointing that out. Of course there are children of single mothers that turn out fine - but that doesn’t stop the fact that single motherhood is a big contributing factor to many of society’s problems. This is a fact - bury your head in the sand if you don’t want to hear the truth. Nobody glorifies fathers who leave their children, but there does seem to be a trend in this idea that single mothers are heros. Puh-lease! Obviously, if someone is a widow that is totally different. Women have more choice then they ever did before the “Womens Movement” and yet women act as though getting pregnant is some uncontrollable occurance like getting the flu. Women can choose birth control, choose the father (unless there is rape - another exception),choose to have an abortion, etc. and yet with all this choice there are more illegitimate children now then before the “Womens Movement”. It is also an observation that single mothers get really angry at the facts. Could it be that the facts strike a cord because they know in their heart the facts are true and they feel guilty? Also, perhaps more women could find a good man if more men were being raised with a man in the house rather than being raised by a single mother.

- Boo hoo

Posted 01/29/09 08:08 PM

 

 

This woman is crazy. Not many of us wanted to be sinble moms but it happened and we handled it. She has to be one miserable soul. Do not knock us single woman give us credit because it is definitely hard.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/08/09 12:07 AM

 

 

The root of the problem is that it has become socially acceptable for men to walk out on their children. Single mothers, at a minumum, deserve respect for sticking around and doing whatever it takes to care for their children when the dad bales out. Of course two loving parents can do a better job raising children but what about a mom and an abusive husband or a dad and an alcoholic wife. Ann Coulter is narrow minded and out of touch with the rest of society - anybody that doesn’t fit into her mold is errant.

- rale

Posted 02/16/09 04:18 PM

 

 

Ann probably cant be a Mother herself so her cruel words are likely a physcological plea for help. Shes to be pitied and so is our society for giving her a pulpit.

- Bob White

Posted 03/07/09 09:08 PM

 

 

This woman seems to be a very angry, bitter and lonely person who is in desperate need of some kind of attention. She obtains it by her denigrating and using scandalous criticism towards others; while she makes use of unfounded and fabricated statements she alleges to know about. Her scholastic and professional backgrounds as well as public exposures have not provided this woman with proper etiquette. We all know that proper manners are learned at home. We all know that a proper lady knows how to talk using the proper tone of voice even while leading an argument or a discussion especially in public. A proper lady knows how to dress, and how to wear the hair so that it looks tidy, and specifically a lady knows how to sit down. When these basic manners are not taught at home then any intelligent professional would attend the school of etiquette. Once you read what it is written about her early and personal life as well as her career you will understand where all her madness and psychosis come from. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann_Coulter “Coulter has been engaged several times, but never married” “her favorite books include The Bible, Wuthering Heights, Anna Karenina, true crime stories about serial killers and anything by Dave Barry.[19]” “Known for her polemical style,[20] Coulter has been described by The Observer as, “the Republican Michael Moore” and “Rush Limbaugh in a miniskirt.”[21]” “The network dismissed her at least twice: first in February 1997, after she insulted the late Pamela Harriman, the U.S. Ambassador to France, even as the network was covering her somber memorial service…. Even so, the network missed Coulter’s jousting and quickly rehired her. Eight months later, Coulter’s relationship with MSNBC ended permanently after she tangled with a disabled Vietnam veteran on the air. Robert Muller, co-founder of the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, asserted that “in 90% of the cases that U.S. soldiers got blown up [in Vietnam]—Ann, are you listening—they were our own mines.” (Muller was misquoting a 1969 Pentagon report that found that 90% of the components used in enemy mines came from U.S. duds and refuse.) Coulter, who found Muller’s statement laughable, averted her eyes and responded sarcastically: “No wonder you guys lost.” It became an infamous—and oft-misreported—Coulter moment. The Washington Post and others turned the line into a more personal attack: “People like you caused us to lose that war.” “In 2001,

- Gloria

Posted 03/13/09 06:16 PM

 

 

And if you’d read the book instead of taking offense, you’d see the she is primarily referring to women who have NEVER been wed. That would mean that widows and divorced women weren’t the center of whom she was referring to. However, anyone who portrays a loose woman who’s given birth to a child outside marriage as a “victim” needs their heads checked. The last time I checked, most children born out of wedlock weren’t rape victims or anything other than a woman who made a volitional choice to have sex with a man who was not her husband and therefore owes her nothing. Not to mention that MANY of these women have more than one child, often times by more than one man. How’s THAT being a “victim”? We call those whores and sluts. If they can find their way down to the welfare office to collect food stamps, section 8 housing and a welfare check, they can just as easily make their way to the health department for some tax payer funded condoms and birth control pills. But, you don’t receive “victim” status and free hand outs that way. Quit acting as though these woman don’t have a CHOICE. They do. They exercised their rights to do as they please with their bodies, now they will have to live with those choices. Pro-choicers can’t have it both ways. Either the woman is in control of her body or she’s not. Since the courts have agreed that women do, in fact, have a choice, let’s quit labeling them as “victims”. It’s the CHILDREN who are victims and should be given to an adoptive home where they CAN be provided for and loved. Again, your letter is pointless because her primary point wasn’t directed at divorcees anyway. Can anyone REALLY defend a single mother with 3 or 4 kids by more than one father as a “victim”? Since they teach sex ed in the SIXTH grade now, there is NO excuse for this rediculous failing in our system.

- kristi

Posted 04/16/09 01:06 PM

 

 

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for standing up for us Single Moms!

- Crystal

Posted 06/08/09 10:19 AM

 

 

iEMI4K comment3 ,

- Vvuygmoc

Posted 06/30/09 04:41 PM

 

 

70% of criminals are parented by single mothers.Now playing with phrases, mentioning some leading personalities like Barak Obama and picking and choosing individual examples does not detract from this statistic. Misinterpreting this statistic is the misinterpreters mistake - and it seems that Sarah wants to join in this.If its true that mothers as “nurturers” have a greater impact on children,as they love to claim to be a greater parent, then its logical follows that the impact can when negative is also much greater! Its typical (and understandable) for mothers to become emotional and defend territory by such vicious diatribes.

- Jayanth

Posted 11/06/09 11:47 PM

 

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