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Single Mom's Open Letter to Ann Coulter

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Read it and weep!

Ann Coulter went on the "Today" show this morning claiming the world's problems can all be traced back to single mothers.

Guest blogger Single Mom Seeking fires back.

Dear Ann,

Do you mind if I call you by first name? I wouldn't want to insult you. After all, I'm a single mom and the cause of every societal problem out there today.

It's clear that you've studied us for years, with all those surveys you compiled for your recent book, "Guilty: Liberal 'Victims' and Their Assault on America."

But I'm not sure how many of us you've spoken to in real life?

I just watched your interview on the "Today" show with Matt Lauer. He read your excerpt:

"Look at any societal problem, and it is a problem of single motherhood."

When Lauer referred to your claim as "outrageous," you replied:

"It's not outrageous, it's a fact."

"Do you think that EVERY society problem is due to single mothers?" Lauer asked.

Maybe not every problem, but most. You went on to explain that single moms -- by giving birth to "illegitimate babies... being raised without fathers" -- are responsible for daily murders and rapes, as well as 70% of the men in prison.

Oh, you poor thing.

You must be really suffering since Barack Obama -- who was raised by a single mom -- won our presidential election. It's too bad you can't go back to the days of Dan Quayle, when he attacked "Murphy Brown," the sitcom, for featuring a lead character who decided to become a single mom.

You two would have been quite a pair, with all of your scapegoating of single mothers.

But getting back to the "Today" show ... can I just add I love your black boots? I have a pair of those, too. I love my black boots, don't you?

Single moms do wear black boots, you know. We also love men and family.

You've blamed us for "an endless attack on the nuclear family," but if you took the time to actually talk to us, you'd realize that most of us dream about going "nuclear."
Many of us were married once. Many of us even dream about finding perfect, faultless husbands one day.

In the meantime, we're working for a living, paying the bills, and raising some smart kids. You should come and see us sometime.

Sincerely,

Single Mom Seeking


next: Lisa Rinna: "I Looked Like a Freak"
85 comments so far | Post a comment now
ak mom January 19, 2009, 6:39 PM

To all of you who are bashing Ann I have to wonder… How many of you have read her book and for that matter how many of you have done any kind of research on the topic of single motherhood and its affects on children, other than your own personal experiences of course? I would imagine none of you have. As a person who was raised by a single mom I understand you mama-bear, knee-jerk reaction to defend how you raise your children. I was lucky enough to be 14 before my parents split and not without struggle I turned out somewhat ok. With some self discipline I managed to finish school, get married and with a lot of hard work stay married 18 years. I have 2 great kids who do well in school and are respectful of others. Things aren’t so great for my much younger brothers who were toddlers at the time our parents split. One lives off the state with his 2 kids (different moms) and girlfriend while the other loves to intimidate people and can’t hold a job. My mom worked hard both at work and at home. The problem was that she simply could not do it all. Some version of this could be your story or not. The simple truth here is that the facts and statistics still remain and you will have to work twice as hard as a married couple will to raise your children to be upstanding citizens. I wish you all much luck and pray that your children do well in life.

Bjones January 20, 2009, 11:00 AM

I read her book. I didn’t buy it, a friend gave it to me. I also did extensive research on single parent households. Yes, in a perfect world it would be ideal to be raised in a home where you have two parents, where the father works and the mom stays home baking cookies and keeping the house clean. It would be ideal if we could all be the perfect family straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. The point of raising good solid children into stable adults, starts at home. I’ve seen many adults who are stable, and whe were raised in single family homes. I’ve also seen many unstable adults raised with two parents. So, you see, Mann Coulter isn’t pointing out anything new, just that nobody would make a black and white statment like that. There is always gray areas, we all know that. Stop the finger pointing and blaming and come up with solutions. It all boils down to good parenting vs. bad parenting, and it doesn’t matter if your a single or a married.

KJ January 22, 2009, 3:46 AM

I happen to be one of those single mothers that had a child out of wedlock that Ann speaks of.And am also white “as someone seemed to insinuate that many of these “type” of women are not.” I have not read her book and neither do I care to do so and can not comment on the whole book. I did decide to marry the father of my children and wanted to work things out because I didn’t want my children to come from a split home. Their father seemed like a good guy and was raised by both of his parents along with two other children. Unlike his brother and sister, my children’s father became an alcoholic and got involved with drugs and became abusive. Needless to say, I ended up leaving him because I decided it would be better to raise my children on my own than to have them in that situation. Since leaving him, he went to jail and prison for a little while for drugs and sexual battery and I have become an EMT and have also done many other courses to add to my education. I support my children on my own without welfare or child support and pay my own bills. My children have done great. I have had honor roll students and am told over and over again how kind and considerate my children are and how they always try to help others. It may help out more financially when there are two parents in a home. But one parent can be just as loving, caring, and stable as two of not more so at times. I don’t believe everyone is trying to say it is to be glorified for a woman to go out and get pregnant and have a child out of wedlock. I believe people are trying to say that the single parents that have done it and have managed to be there for their children and make good lives for them are to be glorified regardless if the single parent is male or female. I have to agree with the statement by Bjones in this case. It boils down to good parenting vs. bad parenting, but then you also have to add in the fact it may not have even have anything to do with one’s parenting skills but may have to do with the child just being who they want to be and also has nothing to do with whether the family is “white or black”.

Anonymous January 28, 2009, 7:50 PM

So tell me would it be better for me a single mother to bring a man into my life to be a role model to my son just so he doesn’t become a statistic. What if that man molested my son? Then my son still becomes a statistic filled with the same problems if I had raised him alone. What if he beat my child? Would that not cause the same problems? Instead of doing the research on what single parented kids grow up to be why not work on helping the situation if it bothers u so much. There should be programs and funding for these children where they can have some mentoring.

Boo hoo January 29, 2009, 8:08 PM

Coulter is just stating the facts. People lOVE bringing up exceptions to the rule as if that cancels out the rule. The true victims are children and she is simply pointing that out.

Of course there are children of single mothers that turn out fine - but that doesn’t stop the fact that single motherhood is a big contributing factor to many of society’s problems. This is a fact - bury your head in the sand if you don’t want to hear the truth.

Nobody glorifies fathers who leave their children, but there does seem to be a trend in this idea that single mothers are heros. Puh-lease!

Obviously, if someone is a widow that is totally different. Women have more choice then they ever did before the “Womens Movement” and yet women act as though getting pregnant is some uncontrollable occurance like getting the flu. Women can choose birth control, choose the father (unless there is rape - another exception),choose to have an abortion, etc. and yet with all this choice there are more illegitimate children now then before the “Womens Movement”.

It is also an observation that single mothers get really angry at the facts. Could it be that the facts strike a cord because they know in their heart the facts are true and they feel guilty?

Also, perhaps more women could find a good man if more men were being raised with a man in the house rather than being raised by a single mother.


Anonymous February 8, 2009, 12:07 AM

This woman is crazy. Not many of us wanted to be sinble moms but it happened and we handled it. She has to be one miserable soul. Do not knock us single woman give us credit because it is definitely hard.

rale February 16, 2009, 4:18 PM

The root of the problem is that it has become socially acceptable for men to walk out on their children. Single mothers, at a minumum, deserve respect for sticking around and doing whatever it takes to care for their children when the dad bales out. Of course two loving parents can do a better job raising children but what about a mom and an abusive husband or a dad and an alcoholic wife. Ann Coulter is narrow minded and out of touch with the rest of society - anybody that doesn’t fit into her mold is errant.

Bob White March 7, 2009, 9:08 PM

Ann probably cant be a Mother herself so her cruel words are likely a physcological plea for help. Shes to be pitied and so is our society for giving her a pulpit.

Gloria March 13, 2009, 6:16 PM

This woman seems to be a very angry, bitter and lonely person who is in desperate need of some kind of attention. She obtains it by her denigrating and using scandalous criticism towards others; while she makes use of unfounded and fabricated statements she alleges to know about.
Her scholastic and professional backgrounds as well as public exposures have not provided this woman with proper etiquette.
We all know that proper manners are learned at home. We all know that a proper lady knows how to talk using the proper tone of voice even while leading an argument or a discussion especially in public.
A proper lady knows how to dress, and how to wear the hair so that it looks tidy, and specifically a lady knows how to sit down.
When these basic manners are not taught at home then any intelligent professional would attend the school of etiquette.
Once you read what it is written about her early and personal life as well as her career you will understand where all her madness and psychosis come from.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann_Coulter
“Coulter has been engaged several times, but never married”
“her favorite books include The Bible, Wuthering Heights, Anna Karenina, true crime stories about serial killers and anything by Dave Barry.[19]”
“Known for her polemical style,[20] Coulter has been described by The Observer as, “the Republican Michael Moore” and “Rush Limbaugh in a miniskirt.”[21]”
“The network dismissed her at least twice: first in February 1997, after she insulted the late Pamela Harriman, the U.S. Ambassador to France, even as the network was covering her somber memorial service…. Even so, the network missed Coulter’s jousting and quickly rehired her.
Eight months later, Coulter’s relationship with MSNBC ended permanently after she tangled with a disabled Vietnam veteran on the air. Robert Muller, co-founder of the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, asserted that “in 90% of the cases that U.S. soldiers got blown up [in Vietnam]—Ann, are you listening—they were our own mines.” (Muller was misquoting a 1969 Pentagon report that found that 90% of the components used in enemy mines came from U.S. duds and refuse.) Coulter, who found Muller’s statement laughable, averted her eyes and responded sarcastically: “No wonder you guys lost.” It became an infamous—and oft-misreported—Coulter moment. The Washington Post and others turned the line into a more personal attack: “People like you caused us to lose that war.”
“In 2001, as a contributing editor and syndicated columnist for National Review Online (NRO), Coulter was asked by editors to make changes to a piece written after the September 11 attacks. On the national television show Politically Incorrect, Coulter accused NRO of censorship and said that she was paid $5 per article. NRO dropped her column and terminated her editorship. Jonah Goldberg, editor-at-large of NRO, said, “We did not ‘fire’ Ann for what she wrote… we ended the relationship because she behaved with a total lack of professionalism, friendship, and loyalty [concerning the editing disagreement].”[38]”
“Coulter contracted with USA Today to cover the 2004 Democratic National Convention. She wrote one article that began, “Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston…” and referred to some unspecified female attendees as “corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons.” The newspaper declined to print the article citing an editing dispute over “basic weaknesses in clarity and readability that we found unacceptable.” An explanatory article by the paper went on to say “Coulter told the online edition of Editor & Publisher magazine that ‘USA Today doesn’t like my “tone”, humor, sarcasm, etc., which raises the intriguing question of why they hired me to write for them.’” USA Today replaced Coulter with Jonah Goldberg, and Coulter published it instead on her website.[39][40][41]”
“Confronting some critics’ views that her content and style of writing is un-Christian,[54][55] Coulter has stated that “I’m a Christian first and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don’t you ever forget it.”[56] She has also said: “… Christianity fuels everything I write. Being a Christian means that I am called upon to do battle against lies, injustice, cruelty, hypocrisy — you know, all the virtues in the church of liberalism.”[5
“In September 2002, Washington Post columnist Lloyd Grove wrote a column titled, “Mystery of the Ages”, raising questions about Coulter’s actual date of birth.[73] At the time, Coulter was insisting that she was not yet 40, despite media reports to the contrary. Attempting to resolve the discrepancy, Grove noted that Coulter had given her date of birth as December 8, 1961”
“He said that Coulter’s Connecticut driver’s license also listed her birth date as December 1961, but pointed out that a driver’s license issued to her years later in Washington, D.C., gave her date of birth as December 1963.”
“In her emailed reply to Grove’s inquiry, Coulter maintained that she was 38 years old. In April 2005, Time’s cover story on Coulter reported, “Coulter says she won’t confirm the date ‘for privacy reasons’ — she’s had several stalkers. ‘And I’m a girl,’ she adds.”[22]
“Comedian, author and political commentator Al Franken has questioned the factual accuracy of her books, and also accuses her of citing passages out of context.[74] Others have investigated these charges, and have also raised questions about the books’ accuracy and presentation of facts.[75][76][77] Coulter responded to these and similar criticisms in a column called “Answering My Critics”,[78] where she claims “the most devastating examples of my alleged ‘lies’ keep changing” and that some accusations of her factual inaccuracy are either outright wrong or really just “trivial” factual errors (e.g. referring to “endnotes” as “footnotes”, or incorrectly identifying Evan Thomas’ grandfather, Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas, as his father).”

“Coulter said, “Canada used to be…one of our most…most loyal friends, and vice versa. I mean, Canada sent troops to Vietnam. Was Vietnam less containable and more of a threat than Saddam Hussein?” McKeown contradicted her with, “No, actually Canada did not send troops to Vietnam.”[81”
“The church was co-responsible for the Holocaust.” She does not mention that the first quote was from a book review in which the reviewer disagreed with the thesis that the Nazi crimes drew on Christian tradition. The second quote was from a discussion printed in the Times, in which a historian also states that Pope Pius XII was responsible for saving 750,000 Jews.[85]

kristi  April 16, 2009, 1:06 PM

And if you’d read the book instead of taking offense, you’d see the she is primarily referring to women who have NEVER been wed. That would mean that widows and divorced women weren’t the center of whom she was referring to.

However, anyone who portrays a loose woman who’s given birth to a child outside marriage as a “victim” needs their heads checked. The last time I checked, most children born out of wedlock weren’t rape victims or anything other than a woman who made a volitional choice to have sex with a man who was not her husband and therefore owes her nothing. Not to mention that MANY of these women have more than one child, often times by more than one man. How’s THAT being a “victim”? We call those whores and sluts.

If they can find their way down to the welfare office to collect food stamps, section 8 housing and a welfare check, they can just as easily make their way to the health department for some tax payer funded condoms and birth control pills. But, you don’t receive “victim” status and free hand outs that way.

Quit acting as though these woman don’t have a CHOICE. They do. They exercised their rights to do as they please with their bodies, now they will have to live with those choices. Pro-choicers can’t have it both ways. Either the woman is in control of her body or she’s not. Since the courts have agreed that women do, in fact, have a choice, let’s quit labeling them as “victims”. It’s the CHILDREN who are victims and should be given to an adoptive home where they CAN be provided for and loved.

Again, your letter is pointless because her primary point wasn’t directed at divorcees anyway. Can anyone REALLY defend a single mother with 3 or 4 kids by more than one father as a “victim”? Since they teach sex ed in the SIXTH grade now, there is NO excuse for this rediculous failing in our system.

Crystal June 8, 2009, 10:19 AM

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you for standing up for us Single Moms!

Vvuygmoc June 30, 2009, 4:41 PM

iEMI4K comment3 ,

Jayanth November 6, 2009, 11:47 PM

70% of criminals are parented by single mothers.Now playing with phrases, mentioning some leading personalities like Barak Obama and picking and choosing individual examples does not detract from this statistic. Misinterpreting this statistic is the misinterpreters mistake - and it seems that Sarah wants to join in this.If its true that mothers as “nurturers” have a greater impact on children,as they love to claim to be a greater parent, then its logical follows that the impact can when negative is also much greater!
Its typical (and understandable) for mothers to become emotional and defend territory by such vicious diatribes.

Marilyn June 17, 2010, 4:19 PM

cry me a river, i have no sympathy i know most of you thought it was so cool to hold power over the man and not allow him to help raise the child, after all you had YOUR dads and brotherS dint you? LOOK THE VAST MAJORITY OF PRISON INMATES ARE GUYS WHO HAD NO FATHER ON THE SCENE, mom thought it was fine she could ”date” [to be polite] and she has her sistas—well it isnt cool, its irresponsible, nobody but nobody can replace the father.

Marilyn June 17, 2010, 4:28 PM

”single mom seeking”? you brag about that situation? well keep on seeking because you have millions of young lovely single girls w/out baggage if you are seeking a hard working man to raise your offspring. or are you just seeking another sperm donor?
and NEVER use obama’s mother as an example, are you serious?

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Medford December 2, 2010, 11:51 AM

“Many of us even dream about finding perfect, faultless husbands one day.”

Perfect? Faultless? No wonder you’re a single mom now. If you keep looking for a perfect, faultless husband, you’re going to be a single mom for the rest of your life.

Hello Kitty Dress Up Game December 31, 2010, 1:02 AM

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GRE prep January 1, 2011, 10:01 AM

Hi there I’m having a technical issue using your web site, I’m having 501 errors fairly often, I am not much too clear as to why however when I reload the web page it comes fine.


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