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Sometimes I Forget I'm a Mom

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I have a confession. There are times when I have forgotten that I'm a mom. Sometimes, yes, sometimes I forget that there is in fact a little person who affectionately refers to me as "Mama."

mother and son

Momlogic's Jenny: Did you ever go swimming when you were pregnant? Can you remember how the water took away all the pressure in your belly and for a few seconds you felt light and, well, like you weren't pregnant? Well, I get moments of mommy "weightlessness" every now and again, too.

Now before you go judging me and wondering how you can forget such a thing, let me be clear: I love my son more than anything in the world. But if I can't have fleeting moments of freedom and weightlessness, how will I be able to stand up to the day-to-day grind of mommyhood and all the pressures that come along with it? Like anything else, don't we as moms need moments to refresh, regroup, and recharge so that we can be better moms and put our children first? I certainly do. And I'm sure you do, too.

The other night, my husband and I were out with friends drinking margaritas and having a great time. For a few hours, we were both immersed in conversations that had nothing to do with bottles, temper tantrums or poopy diapers. Our "joy," at that moment, had nothing to do with being parents and our "together time" had nothing to do with being a family. In fact, it wasn't until we got home, said good-night to the babysitter and quickly peeked into our sleeping baby's room (before joining our friends in the living room for more cocktails) that I felt like a mommy again.

But these "forgetful" moments don't just happen when I'm drinking. Sometimes when I'm by myself or without my little one, I have these fleeting feelings. Whether it's at the dry cleaner's, during meetings at work, at the nail salon, or at the gym, I feel like me. Like old me. Like the me who doesn't spend time navigating and coordinating days based on naps and bedtime. Like the me who doesn't have mashed peas and macaroni mushed into her favorite sweater. Like the me who can come and go as she pleases and doesn't have to worry that every move she makes will scar, affect, and somehow screw up the life of the single most important person to her....

SO, do I feel guilty that sometimes the thought of another human depending on me for the rest of my life sometimes escapes me? Um, no. Do you???? And if you say that not a single moment has gone by since the moment your child was born that you didn't forget at some point that you were a parent, then you're lying ... Or, maybe you've just forgotten.


next: RIP, Mr. Roarke
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous January 14, 2009, 3:11 PM

so true!!!

mama_chita January 14, 2009, 4:30 PM

Great post, and so well-said.

Best line:
“I feel like me. Like old me….”
(and the rest of that paragraph.)

TWEEDON January 15, 2009, 9:17 AM

SO RIGHT. I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MY MOTHER AND SHE ACTED LIKE SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME. WELL SAID!

Wendi January 15, 2009, 2:42 PM

I disagree. I am a SAHM and my kids are always either with me or on my mind. Even when I do get a little me time, I am always thinking about them and talking about them. I don’t just forget that I am a mom. This was my dream, how could I forget that!?

maeby January 15, 2009, 4:43 PM

I’m a SAHM also, and i completely agree with Jenny. I NEED time to get away and relax and not do mom things for a couple of hours. I have my kids almost 24/7. I literally dont get a single minute alone. Am i complaining that i have to take care of my children? no. i love them. But i DO need to get away sometimes (only happens like once a month), and i think thats perfectly fine.

Wendi, I’m asking out of sheer curiosity. Do your friends ever get annoyed that all you talk about is your kids? I can’t imagine hanging out with someone who has nothing else to talk about.

Wendi January 15, 2009, 8:34 PM

We talk about other things as well, however I don’t ever just forget that I’m a mom. All my friends have kids as well and they talk about them lots also. I’m not all consumed, but saying you forget that your a mom seems so odd to me. I believe in getting time for yourself, but that does not mean you should forget about your kids. It means you can be away from them, but in my eyes once you have children that is just you, a mom and a HUGE part of your life.

Sheila January 24, 2009, 12:43 PM

Wendi…when you are making wild passionate love with your husband, are you thinking of your kids? If you answer “yes” - I’m worried you are not really enjoying yourself. When my husband and I make love, all I feel (because I’m not “thinking” during sex) is that I am a woman pure and simple and LOVING every minute of it. I certainly am NOT thinking about all the pressures of being a SAHM, taxi to my children, school volunteer, cook, housekeeper, and nurse to all boo-boos. It’s okay to admit that you forget about being a mom sometimes. It doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you a better wife and lover.


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