The Duggars have 18 kids, which is crazy in and of itself. But teaching your kids to abstain from all sexual relations before marriage... these people are nuts!
Guest blogger Samantha: Every time I see something about the Duggars on TV, I get really annoyed. I'm annoyed that they have so many kids, I'm annoyed that all their names start with "J" and I'm annoyed that everything, EVERYTHING, they do and say in life is about their belief in God. Look, I'm all for faith. I'm all for religion. But I lose my patience when it comes to fanatics whose convictions are SO over the top that their very own children (in my opinion) end up brainwashed and robotic.
Meet Joshua Duggar and his new bride Anna.
Last night, as I watched "A Very Duggar Wedding," a reality special on TLC documenting their "union," I wanted to barf. You see, Joshua, 21, and his bride-to-be Anna, have never kissed (yes, that's KISSED!). Both are evangelical Christians and decided that they wanted to enter marriage "pure." Up until their wedding day, the most action that these two CHILDREN had ever gotten was hand-holding (ooh, naughty, naughty!) And now, their very first kiss is supposed to be in front of 300 guests?! Are you kidding me?
Before I even start in on how ridiculous I think this "purity" nonsense is, let me take a moment to talk about their wedding itself: 1) Too much tulle. 2) Someone needs to let the people of Florida know that the crimped long-hair look was out in the '80s 3) It was a dry wedding. (Um, isn't that mean to make them have sex for the first time without any alcohol???) I nearly died when they said "I do," and went for their first kiss as husband and wife. "Don't turn around!," my husband joked as we laughed about what a massive boner Joshua probably had. Then, as the camera zoomed in on Anna wiping her lips and smiling nervously as her virgin tongue went back into her mouth, I literally got queasy. How ridiculous, I thought. How ridiculous to think that not only will these kids never know what it's like to have had sex with anyone else other than each other, but that they will never know what really feels good and really feels right.
If you don't kiss a lot of frogs, how can you know if you even like kissing your prince?! The beauty of experiencing intimacy before marriage is that you CAN determine what you like and don't like -- so that you're not stuck with someone who you come to discover you have ZERO sexual attraction or connection to! As I watched the Duggars walk into their sad little hotel room (hi, TLC, ya coulda sprung for the "honeymoon suite," no?), I couldn't help but wonder if poor Anna, who will not be enjoying sex for quite some time (uh, remember when you lost your virginity), will one day wake up and wish that she had been felt up by someone other than her husband. Second base, people! We're talking about second base! Her boobies have NEVER even been touched by someone else. PATHETIC.
On Joshua and Anna's website, Anna says: "Like Joshua, I was raised in a Christian home, and my parents encouraged me to save my whole heart and purity for the one that God had for me. As a young girl, my parents told me that it was normal to have desires and thoughts, but that it was my responsibility to commit my future to the Lord and trust God to lead me in His timing." Trust God to lead you? Does God know what turns you on? Grow up! You're not proving anything to anyone and I don't believe for one instance that God is going to reward you any differently then the rest of us. You can still be pure, good, and committed to your husband even if you've had multiple partners.
In my opinion, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are to blame for this craziness. If I had to share well-deserved attention with 17 other siblings, I might pull a lame stunt like this at my wedding, too. Fortunately for me (and my two sisters), my kiss was short and sweet and my wedding night wasn't as painful as Anna's probably was (unless you count the terrible blister I got from my heels). So, to Joshua and Anna: I truly do hope you had fun on your wedding night and in 50 years are still as hot for each other as you were that night at bible camp. And if there's one thing you don't do like your parents, let's hope it's the baby-making part. For God's sake, Duggars, heed your own advice and ABSTAIN.