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The Duggars Make Me Sick

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The Duggars have 18 kids, which is crazy in and of itself. But teaching your kids to abstain from all sexual relations before marriage... these people are nuts!

Annoyed woman watching tv

Guest blogger Samantha: Every time I see something about the Duggars on TV, I get really annoyed. I'm annoyed that they have so many kids, I'm annoyed that all their names start with "J" and I'm annoyed that everything, EVERYTHING, they do and say in life is about their belief in God. Look, I'm all for faith. I'm all for religion. But I lose my patience when it comes to fanatics whose convictions are SO over the top that their very own children (in my opinion) end up brainwashed and robotic.

Meet Joshua Duggar and his new bride Anna.

Last night, as I watched "A Very Duggar Wedding," a reality special on TLC documenting their "union," I wanted to barf. You see, Joshua, 21, and his bride-to-be Anna, have never kissed (yes, that's KISSED!). Both are evangelical Christians and decided that they wanted to enter marriage "pure." Up until their wedding day, the most action that these two CHILDREN had ever gotten was hand-holding (ooh, naughty, naughty!) And now, their very first kiss is supposed to be in front of 300 guests?! Are you kidding me?

Before I even start in on how ridiculous I think this "purity" nonsense is, let me take a moment to talk about their wedding itself: 1) Too much tulle. 2) Someone needs to let the people of Florida know that the crimped long-hair look was out in the '80s 3) It was a dry wedding. (Um, isn't that mean to make them have sex for the first time without any alcohol???) I nearly died when they said "I do," and went for their first kiss as husband and wife. "Don't turn around!," my husband joked as we laughed about what a massive boner Joshua probably had. Then, as the camera zoomed in on Anna wiping her lips and smiling nervously as her virgin tongue went back into her mouth, I literally got queasy. How ridiculous, I thought. How ridiculous to think that not only will these kids never know what it's like to have had sex with anyone else other than each other, but that they will never know what really feels good and really feels right.

If you don't kiss a lot of frogs, how can you know if you even like kissing your prince?! The beauty of experiencing intimacy before marriage is that you CAN determine what you like and don't like -- so that you're not stuck with someone who you come to discover you have ZERO sexual attraction or connection to! As I watched the Duggars walk into their sad little hotel room (hi, TLC, ya coulda sprung for the "honeymoon suite," no?), I couldn't help but wonder if poor Anna, who will not be enjoying sex for quite some time (uh, remember when you lost your virginity), will one day wake up and wish that she had been felt up by someone other than her husband. Second base, people! We're talking about second base! Her boobies have NEVER even been touched by someone else. PATHETIC.

On Joshua and Anna's website, Anna says: "Like Joshua, I was raised in a Christian home, and my parents encouraged me to save my whole heart and purity for the one that God had for me. As a young girl, my parents told me that it was normal to have desires and thoughts, but that it was my responsibility to commit my future to the Lord and trust God to lead me in His timing." Trust God to lead you? Does God know what turns you on? Grow up! You're not proving anything to anyone and I don't believe for one instance that God is going to reward you any differently then the rest of us. You can still be pure, good, and committed to your husband even if you've had multiple partners.

In my opinion, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are to blame for this craziness. If I had to share well-deserved attention with 17 other siblings, I might pull a lame stunt like this at my wedding, too. Fortunately for me (and my two sisters), my kiss was short and sweet and my wedding night wasn't as painful as Anna's probably was (unless you count the terrible blister I got from my heels). So, to Joshua and Anna: I truly do hope you had fun on your wedding night and in 50 years are still as hot for each other as you were that night at bible camp. And if there's one thing you don't do like your parents, let's hope it's the baby-making part. For God's sake, Duggars, heed your own advice and ABSTAIN.


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244 comments so far | Post a comment now
vale January 27, 2009, 9:09 AM

Whilst it was a rather strongly worded post, I have to agree. Most moderate societies do not see any harm coming from kissing before mariage. And as to the fact it keeps a person pure, does this mean that they have to only be pure in a physical sense. What about the mind, is there some way that they can “cleanse” that to make it pure, or has someone found a way of stopping the progression of mother nature in a teenager.

I dont want to offend people with my view, but it is my view that i am entitled to. I am also brave enough to not make my post anonymous and venymous. Please think about your replies and have the conviction to be associated with your words and beliefs.

vale

Vale

Amanda January 27, 2009, 9:13 AM

I agree the no kissing is completely crazy!! I can understand saving your virginity till marriage, although I can also understand trying out the merchandise first! I can’t imagine not knowing my husbands desires and turn ons before we got married. Need to know compatibility people!! What really drives me crazy… they have 18 kids but they rely on the older children to help raise them. I mean when the older girls went to Florida with their brother everyone was talking about how hard of a time the parents were having without the older girls! RIDICULOUS!!! If you can’t raise and take care of them..DON”T HAVE EM!! Being second mother should not be a chore for a teenager!!

Anonymous January 27, 2009, 9:16 AM

All i can say is if it upsets you that much you probably shouldn’t be watching it. That is the beauty of TV.

vicki January 27, 2009, 9:22 AM

What is wrong with you people, that is such a wonderful thing that they waited to share with each other, and if you notice, all the friends and their parents aren’t devoiced. Maybe having Christian values and principals is what more people need out there and that would keep more families together. They are showing such a great example to so many younger teens and younger adults to wait. If so many other parents raised their kids like that, then teen pregnancy would be down, we would not be fighting over having abortions or not to. But for so many of you to talk down on them for such a wonderful thing for them to wait and share with each other just goes to show how many Christians lack in this world and I just pray that you might realize what a great family they are when your kids get older and are thinking about sex at 16.

Dee January 27, 2009, 9:55 AM

I somewhat agree it is going to be hard on these newlyweds, but we all have had our first experience with someone with thought we loved,(if you are the type to have premarital sex), and I am one of those types, but to share it with someone you know you love should and would be very exciting. The only thing I thought was a little strange was kissing isnt love making it is a sign of intimacy so having no sex doesnt seem weird to ME but no being able to kiss certainly does but that was their choice and I hope the best for them because I would never wish bad for anyone and they are just a young couple with parents that are very involved and there are much too many kids without parents or single parents, so props to them all, and god bless.

theboyzmom January 27, 2009, 9:56 AM

I didn’t watch the special and I was never a regular viewer of the show. However I am aware of this family and I’d like to add my $.02 …

I didn’t wait until marriage to have sex, but right after, I wish I had. I have explored more and experimented more with my husband than any previous lover.

The waiting to even kiss I do find odd, but if they are ok with it, then ok…

They are a ‘rare’ breed of Christian that believes in a ‘quiver full’. Meaning as many children as God wants to send them, they will accept. I wished I could have had more children, so in a way I am envious…however, I do not think it’s fair that the young Duggar women are being trained to only be wives and mothers. Although that is what I have chosen for my life, I did have options and it appears these girls have no options.

I am raising my sons to be gentlemen and am encouraging them to wait until they are married. Realistically they may not, but if they even put it off a few more years I’d be happy. Who needs to deal with sex and all it’s issues during the tough years of highschool?

I am a bit surprised at the anger expressed in some of the posts. Although I totally agree that you have the right to post what you think and feel, I do wonder why you are soooo upset over it all.

I don’t agree with allowing cameras in your life all the time (I think the original special and a few followups would have been enough), I do admire that they live debt free, no welfare and all their kids do seem to love and respect each other and adults.

John January 27, 2009, 9:58 AM

You maam have no idea what your talking about. It’s your decision whether you want to follow God or not, but he hates luke-warm believers. You make me sick, and people like you.

linda January 27, 2009, 10:11 AM

Ithink the dugger is doing a great job with their children I am the older of eight.And for having their children wait until marry is wonderful. More parent should teach their children to be abstain from all sexual relations before marriage is wonderful .we have enough un wed mothers is the world.If any body is crazy! I think you are !! Dugger family keep up the good work!!!Josh and Anne good on your new life to together

vickie January 27, 2009, 10:21 AM

first of all I want to say is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!! Your thoughts are yours and honestly I am sure I am speaking for a lot keeping yours is what we would like to hear. Then I would like to say if we had more people who practices this way of life.. we would most probably have less unwanted unplanned babies, less diseases and less divorces. If you don’t know what you have not had how do you know you would like it? Sounds like you did your share of sleeping around.. and all I can say is GOD HELP YA!! I am a born again Christian, and practice a few of the similar beliefs. I have taught me children the same.. but because we have people like you with no values and no respect for their own bodies.. our children are taught differently in this crude free giving sexual world. Maybe if people read what God wanted we would have a much less hectic world. If these kids appear to be happy.. who are you or anything else to judge. The only thing I would have to say if I praise them for keeping their house in order with 18 kids.. I couldn’t do it. But with self respect and self discipline.. we can do all things through Christ.

Luanna January 27, 2009, 10:24 AM

You totally cracked me up this morning! Thanks for posting your “fire”! I know nothing about these people other than I saw them in an interview on tv and thought, “wow, how are they supporting all of those children, financially and emotionally.” My 3 kids wear me out! I can’t imagine 18!!! UGH!!!

carolyn January 27, 2009, 10:31 AM

OH get over yourself samantha. Most people would die just to have a son or daughter like samantha or josh. One that stays on the straight and narrow and dosent get into trouble. That does their schoolwork and believes in our Lord. HONESTLY, SHAME ON YOU! People like you are just a bunch of hypocrites. Cause I know damn well that if you had a daughter or son you’d wanted them the be a virgin till marriage and walk the good road and not have sex and babies at 16!

Rikki January 27, 2009, 10:32 AM

First, if they annoy you so much, then change the freakin’ channel. Why did you watch if you knew you would get irritated?
Second, some peope believe in holding up different kinds of morals. If that bothers you, then stay inside for the rest of your life and cut yourself off from the rest of the world because you will never be happy with the way everyone lives their lives.
My husband and I have never had sex with anyone but each other. We did have other boyfriends and girlfriends when we were in high school that we had kissed-but never anything much more than that. I wasn’t raised in a Christian house, but for myself I didn’t want to have sex with anyone who wasn’t going to be my husband. And I am glad it was like that. I feel like we have a special bond that some of our friends (who didn’t wait) don’t have.
All in all, I just say if you don’t like them, don’t make it a point to watch then, then complain about it.

Anonymous January 27, 2009, 10:40 AM

Mrs. Duggar sounds like a a programmed robot when she talks. What’s up with the 80’s hair dos on the Mom and girls?

Vickiey January 27, 2009, 10:51 AM

I think the Duggars are different in the eyes of society today. JimBob amd Michelle are a sweet couple and managed to raise all those kids in a wholesome enviroment and look at the results? I have been married to the same man for 38 years. He is the only one I have ever been with and I wouldnt have it any other way.Hes my best friend. That in its self shocks alot of people.Oh and out of all those kids heres something else….They all have the same dad.If they can take care of all those kids I think it will be interesting to see how many more she has.

RC January 27, 2009, 10:55 AM

The Duggars are the most irresponsible couple there is. With an overcrowded planet, food & water shortage around the corner.I can’t believe they were rewarded with a show for having 18 children, it’s disgusting. How can you give quality time to even one of these children? The older children get to experience being a parent for years as there is no time for the mother to do everything thing. I was a PK and waited until marriage, but I dated alot, kissed everyone I dated and then some. I am glad I dated for several years. The women in the church I grew up in that didn’t date before marriage were very unhappy in their marriage. They felt they had missed out on so much. It was sad. I married too young probably because I wanted to wait, divorced,have been remarried happily for 25 years.

michelle January 27, 2009, 11:06 AM

I think it’s sweet. Although the part on “authority” hit a nerve. To each their own. Besides, that family of 18 children are living greener than a family of 4. They make their own laundry soap, recycle, buy used clothing and shoes, etc. I don’t agree with everything the Duggar’s do or say, but they are sweet and wholesome family anyway. I could only wish I had parents who sat me down to “speak” with me about life and relationships and nudged me in all the right directions.

Jami January 27, 2009, 11:24 AM

This is the kind of close-minded hateful talk that has prevented me from coming to this site, but I could not let this one go when I got the email. After I read what Samantha wrote it was worse than I thought. I don’t know who the religious person was that must have hurt her very deeply, but I think it is time for her to let it go.
I will be teaching all of my children (only 3) that it is best to wait until marriage for sex. I was raised that way, but neither my husband and I waited and we regret that we had other partners before we got together.
Joshua and Anna have a lifetime to expiriment and discover what they like. They don’t have to worry that the other may think that someone else used to do that move better, and they will enjoy all of their firsts together. It is very closed minded that you think they will not be happy.
This is why I am done with momlogic. There is only hate here for people with any values at all. I would think that moms would want their children to have lower chances for getting an STD or being labled easy. Goodbye

Cyndy January 27, 2009, 11:29 AM

That lifestyle certainly isn’t for me. If the Duggars are happy and not preaching their values on others, who cares! The show is entertaining and hard to believe. Also how do Jim Bob and Michelle have time for sex?!? Plus hopefully the “j” children can make up their own minds as they leave the nest as to how to live their own lifes.

mommy first January 27, 2009, 11:40 AM

The duggar children namely Joshua chose to follow their parents belief system and accept it. Children of Christians make different choices all of the time. Josh & Anna made the choice that’s right for them. and What do you mean, boobies never touched by someone else. We are supposed to let our daughters be used by horn dog young boys who are going to talk about them after all of the kisses and fills. You are the crazy one. The duggars are doing what they choose, This is America Samantha “One nation under God” Helloooo. You do what you think is best whith your children.Keep your stones in your yard.

kimberly January 27, 2009, 11:40 AM

I think that the woman who wrote this sounds like she has had a LOT of sex with a LOT of people. It takes real courage to stay a virgin, anybody can have sex. And starting with a kiss can make it harder not to lead to other things, and yes their way of living completely blows mankind’s natural way of sleeziness and lack of self-control out of the water, but I think that it is amazing for them. My husband and I have only been with each other. I got pregnant when I was 16, we got married and had a baby, and we were both virgins when we had each other. We are both in love and he takes care of us in every way. I am glad that he was the only person that I was ever with. Neither of us accidentally had STD’s that we passed along to each other, we learned together, and I can guarentee that our sex life is effing amazing. You do not have to be a sleezball and passed around to learn things and experiment. Plus, jealousy is not a factor for either of us, knowing that we have been each other’s one and only. So I guess what I am trying to say, darling, is that these two “kid’s” marriage will probably outlast yours and most other people’s, and they have more self-control in their lives than most people twice their age. They are focusing on the number one most important things in their marriage, each other, and not SEX.

-Kimberly S.


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